AP: Woods to Return at Masters

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 1:49 am

War Wagon wrote:
Van wrote:Tiger does plenty of charitable work anyway...
Link?

If you need linking to the amount of dough Tiger throws at charities, you've been living under a rock.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue May 11, 2010 1:58 am

Van wrote: Wanna show me where either you or Tom Watson have done more charity work?

Good call. You really don't know what you're talking about, so it'd be better for you to just tap out.

Tap out? you really don't know me very well and charity begins at home.

http://www.tomwatson.com/charities/bruc ... s-research

I'm your worst nightmare Van. The guy who will stand up to your irrefutable bullshit and call a spade a spade.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 2:03 am

Goober McTuber wrote:
Van wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:What do you expect, Whitey? His guitar hero is some faggot named Stevie Vai.
Huh?

I'm sorry. One of your guitar heroes.

But wait. According to Wags, Vai has impeccable character. Vai is a devoted family man with a couple of kids, and he's been married to the same woman forever. Even though he's been a famous musician his whole life, he's never been in the papers for cheating on his wife, nor has he ever even been accused of anything of the sort.

It's all about the integrity. Ask Wags. He knows the inner workings of every man's soul. He's kinda like Roger_the_Judgmental that way.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue May 11, 2010 2:03 am

Dinsdale wrote:
If you need linking to the amount of dough Nike throws at charities, you've been living under a rock.

Fixed.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue May 11, 2010 2:07 am

Van wrote:Ask Wags. He knows the inner workings of every man's soul.

Call it an educated guess.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 2:11 am

War Wagon wrote:
Van wrote: Wanna show me where either you or Tom Watson have done more charity work?

Good call. You really don't know what you're talking about, so it'd be better for you to just tap out.
Tap out? you really don't know me very well and charity begins at home.

http://www.tomwatson.com/charities/bruc ... s-research

I'm your worst nightmare Van. The guy who will stand up to your irrefutable bullshit and call a spade a spade.

So when are you actually going to start backing it up with anything? All you did was provide a link that in no way illustrated Watson doing more charity work than Tiger.

Your point was that Tiger doesn't do charity work, which he clearly does on a massive scale. My point was that Tiger does charity work, and I'd like for you to show me where either you or Watson do more.

You've done no such thing, while failing to admit that yes, Tiger does quite a bit of charity work.

That sounds like a lack of character on your part.

By inference, you also wish to favorably compare yourself with Tiger, despite the fact that you don't do shit, and your 'integrity' is entirely defined by your utter lack of options.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 2:12 am

War Wagon wrote:
Van wrote:Ask Wags. He knows the inner workings of every man's soul.
Call it ~~an educated guess~~ a self-serving pile of steaming sanctimoniousness.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue May 11, 2010 2:46 am

My link is better than your link, stfu TBSH.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 3:25 am

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue May 11, 2010 10:09 am

Tiger Ball Sucking Homer?

Terry in Crapchester · Tue May 11, 2010 10:43 am

Van wrote:A near-billionaire who will likely go down as the greatest golfer of all time? Along the way, he's had himself quite the excellent time with women far beyond your pay grade, plus he has a couple of kids he supposedly loves?

Yeah, I'd say he's led a fairly enviable life. I mean, fine, he's no Randy Bachman . . ., but what the fuck, dude.

There can only be one.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue May 11, 2010 12:55 pm

Van wrote:But wait. According to Wags, Vai has impeccable character. Vai is a devoted family man with a couple of kids, and he's been married to the same woman forever.

Sure, Van, whatever you say.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Tue May 11, 2010 1:22 pm

Is the chick on the left Barry's new Supreme Court nominee?

Can't keep track of all this shit.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 3:06 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:Tiger Ball Sucking Homer?

Ahh, okay. I was looking for the 'W' too, and the 'B' threw me. Thanks.

:doh:

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 3:28 pm

Goobs, you gotta admit, Orianthi is pretty damn hot.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue May 11, 2010 3:31 pm

I've looked at a number of pictures of her. Some look good, some rather average. This one's OK:

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 3:36 pm

Hey, for a porn chick she plays a pretty mean guitar.

And now I bring you...

...the end of the fucking world as we know it...

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue May 11, 2010 4:08 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Why did Tiger's swing coach quit?

Because Tiger quit "swinging"?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 4:09 pm

Jsc810 wrote:Why did Tiger's swing coach quit?

You really don't know shit from shinola when it comes to PGA golf.

Haney ditches everyone, eventually.

Killian · Post by **Killian** » Tue May 11, 2010 4:26 pm

Jsc810 wrote:The mental thing is what got Tyson. Likewise, there is a crack in Tiger's armor now.

Hold up a second, are you fucking serious? 3 years in the pen is what got Mike, not the "mental thing". And let's for a second say that it was the "mental thing" that got Tyson. Comparing that to Tiger is absurd. You're comparing the mental capabilities of a guy who was picked up off the street and thrown into a ring to a guy that went to Stanford. Somehow, I think Tiger will be able to handle the "mental thing" if there is one.

My guess is once the divorce is finalized, he'll go back to dominating the sport like he did.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 4:28 pm

You're right, I don't, and that's why I asked the question.

Then allow me to offer an opinion -- Haney is, and always been a whore.

Now that Tiger might be laid up, Hank isn't getting his big fat paycheck (like he needs it).

Before Tiger, it was Mark O'Meara (among others). Once Mark, who was pretty much making the most money of anyone at the time, started aging and suffering injuries, Haney kicked him to the curb, too.

Haney has never come across as being particularly loyal.

Maybe it's something with the bigtime golf coaches -- Butch Harmon has never seemed like a terribly high-character guy, either.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 4:29 pm

Killian wrote: Hold up a second, are you fucking serious? 3 years in the pen is what got Mike, not the "mental thing".

Don't be silly...

Mike Vick was the 2009 MVP, wasn't he?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue May 11, 2010 4:37 pm

Steve Vai is...married?

sin, Headhunter

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Tue May 11, 2010 5:09 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
Jsc810 wrote:Why did Tiger's swing coach quit?

You really don't know shit from shinola when it comes to PGA golf.

Haney ditches everyone, eventually.

Hank Haney wrote:"Just so there is no confusion, I would like to make it clear that this was my decision. Tiger Woods and I will always be friends, but I believe that there is a time and place for everything and I feel at this time and at this place in my life I want to move forward in other areas."

Translation: I will be working with Rory McIlroy or Ryo Ishikawa as soon as possible.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 5:18 pm

BSmack wrote:
Translation: I will be working with Rory McIlroy or Ryo Ishikawa as soon as possible.

Could even be Ernie, since he's making bank these days. Anthony Kim would be an obvious self-serving choice for him.

Hell, he could test his patience -- Ben Crane is raking in some dough these days.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue May 11, 2010 6:11 pm

Hank Haney wrote:Tiger Woods and I will always be friends, but I believe that there is a time and place for everything and I feel at this time and at this place in my life I want to move forward in other areas.

Fucker. You are soooo LIMBOBULATED!

-Dins

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue May 11, 2010 6:11 pm

Dinsdale wrote:Hell, he could test his patience -- Ben Crane is raking in some dough these days.

I can see it now.

Ben Crane: Ok, coach. Thanks for taking me on. What's the first thing we need to work on?

Hank Haney: Hurry the fuck up. Get that down and we'll be on to lesson 2.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 6:14 pm

In his defense, Homey Ben has kicked his pace up considerably.

He only stares at his shot for like 12 minutes these days, a dramatic reduction.

He's #11 in the FedEx-btw. He picked up the pace, and is having his best year... ponderous.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue May 11, 2010 6:18 pm

Does he still dislocate both of his shoulders three times before he swings?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 6:19 pm

BTW -- since the PGA started testing for PEDs, Villegas has dropped like a rock in the driving distance stats.

Just a coincidence, I'm sure. And a midget putting on 80 pounds of solid muscle in a couple of years was all about the weight room...

Brian Cushing thinks dude's whack.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue May 11, 2010 6:22 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Does he still dislocate both of his shoulders three times before he swings?

He's somewhat inspirational to us aging hacks -- if I remember right, he blew his back to shreds at some point.

But I don't think he does the crazy stretching before every shot... I think he still does on the tee, though.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue May 11, 2010 6:22 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Does he still dislocate both of his shoulders three times before he swings?

And does he give the "O-FACE!"? The "OH SHIT THAT HURT!" face?

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 8:08 pm

He sure looked like a mere shell of his old self. Goes to show how important mental health is in sports, maybe even more so in an individual sport like golf. With all the new lean and hungry guys like the winner this weekend and the guy who won the Master's, count me as one who doubts if Tiger will be a factor again.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Tue Jul 20, 2010 1:25 am

He tried to come back too soon.

In his quest to surpass Jack, Hello Kitty didn't want to watch those major opportunities slide down the drain with DNP's, so he got himself out there again, beginning with the Masters.

But it's dern near impossible to be much more than fodder in pro sports when you've been DE-BALLED by Oprah.

Should have first re-gained possession of his gonads, then laid low, then practiced like a fiend, then come back ... for the PGA Championship, just to get one major in before the end of '10.

Then come back full scale in '11.

Should have been his approach.

I think he'll be a serious factor at the PGA - if not walk away the winner.

jmo

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:44 am

Jsc810 wrote:
Van wrote:Tiger is not done. He will win more majors. Bare minimum, that fucker is not stopping until he has nineteen.
Still think that way? Or do you finally realize that you can stick a fork in him, he's done?

Oh dear, he shot a 74?!?!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:18 am

Holy shit, how did I miss this gem the first time around?

Wolfman wrote:With all the new lean and hungry guys like the guy who won the Master's

You mean that 40 year old guy who's second in wins among active players who has big floppy manboobs and looks like he hasn't missed a meal since junior high school and has made over $50 million a year for the last several years?

That "new" "lean" "hungry" guy?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:09 am

Couldn't have happened to a bigger douche. Rack Tiger getting his comeuppance.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:26 am

Jsc810 wrote:
BSmack wrote:Oh dear, he shot a 74?!?!

I'm sorry, were you trying to make a point? Tiger Woods shoots worst 72-hole score of career at Bridgestone Invitational

My point is that Tiger won't be down forever. Love him or hate him, the man is too talented to never come back.

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 3:00 pm

BSmack wrote:My point is that Tiger won't be down forever. Love him or hate him, the man is too talented to never come back.

The climb back is going to be much tougher than anyone thought, including Tiger. That is a course that he absolutely destroys.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Aug 10, 2010 4:28 pm

Roach wrote:Otherwise he looks like a has been also ran.

Let's see... 4th in the Masters, 4th in the US Open, 23rd out of 156 at The Open, made 75% of the cuts, made almost a million in earnings in 8 weekends of work this year...

I'll bet there's a lot of guys wishing they were "also rans" this year.