Belt..or Buckle?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 4:50 am

Wait... did LTS just mock another guitar player's tone?

Comedy fucking GOLD.

Nicky, your tone is absolutely horrific. I mean... as bad as it possibly gets.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 4:52 am

Wrong, dimmer, the clean tone is exactly what I wanted, and what's appropriate for that tune. Check out Jimi's various versions. Sure, it was an I-phone recording, but the tone is actually okay.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:03 am

Papa Willie wrote:I tell you what. Now it's time for YOU to do something I want YOU to do. Game?

Yeah, I want to play a game, too.

Felchco has 24 hours to post a decent version of the lead-in guitar from Stevie Ray Vaughn's Couldn't Stand The Weather.

If he does not post in time, this will be permanently lodged in his rectum:

Good luck.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:27 am

And who the fuck is "Carson"?

Do you play the kazoo? Perhaps you could entertain us with some Mozart?

Look, guzzler is a long time "troll"....okay? He calls himself 'shutyomouth," an utterly disgusting self-hating nic which reveals more than we'd like to know. Actually learning of his obese and larded life would be painful. If he can put up a tune, a guitar based composition, well, we'll listen. Other than that, the idea of him discussing something--anything--is like asking a rhinoceros to fly.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:51 am

Well go on with your bad self!

Much improved. You do know the difference between The Thrill Is Gone and Villanova, right? I mean harmonically? Who cares, it's great. No chords or any texture, but you're a player.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 8:05 am

It's all about mixing in chordal voicings and shadings, elements of which you're obviously oblivious. All you do is play straight ahead shred-head lead. And ...it's boring.

Do you like--or know--of a guitarist named Wes?

Jimi sure did.

Now c'mon, you flatulent fraud, I know you can do something. It's not blues or any sort of jazz or cool Irish or bluegrass or anything like that..but c'mon, do your real deal--the music you've developed in the course of your flowing years...let's hear the metal..

C'mon...put up your real music..

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 3:06 pm

LTS TRN 2 wrote:I like all sorts of music, and I can play a variety of styles badly.

FTFY.

The thing that always amazed me about Hendrix was that he took a right-handed guitar and played with the guitar upside down and restrung backwards so he could play left-handed. On acid.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 04, 2015 6:13 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
LTS TRN 2 wrote:I like all sorts of music, and I can play a variety of styles badly.
FTFY.

The thing that always amazed me about Hendrix was that he took a right-handed guitar and played with the guitar upside down and restrung backwards so he could play left-handed. On acid.
People like Albert King freaked me out more, though. He played a right-handed guitar upside down, yet still left it stringed up for a righty. In other words, his small strings were on top, so all of his chording and playing was done in reverse...

I assume he had really good acid.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 8:14 am

Hendrix was fifty times fifty times fifty beyond the good backwards country fool, uncle Albert.

C'mon, you gravy puking hog, put up some real music. I actually think you've got some tracks. So far you've sucked ass with bland and boring attempts at blues. I've curb stomped you with one hand held take. And yes, you know, as you listen (and hopefully read and consider the pics and vid/audio) you realize...

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 12:57 am

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
LTS TRN 2 wrote:I like all sorts of music, and I can play a variety of styles badly.
FTFY.

The thing that always amazed me about Hendrix was that he took a right-handed guitar and played with the guitar upside down and restrung backwards so he could play left-handed. On acid.
People like Albert King freaked me out more, though. He played a right-handed guitar upside down, yet still left it stringed up for a righty. In other words, his small strings were on top, so all of his chording and playing was done in reverse...

I know a guy who does that. He's played around Rochester for 30+ years. He's also WAY better than Toolio.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 1:03 am

The upside down style was only one of the unusual features of Albert King. More interesting was his "secret tuning," a slacked minor key arrangement.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 2:33 am

LTS TRN 2 wrote:Hendrix was fifty times fifty times fifty beyond the good backwards country fool, uncle Albert.

C'mon, you gravy puking hog, put up some real music. I actually think you've got some tracks. So far you've sucked ass with bland and boring attempts at blues. I've curb stomped you with one hand held take. And yes, you know, as you listen (and hopefully read and consider the pics and vid/audio) you realize...

If Jimi was here, he'd tell you what a fukking moron you are. He developed his sound while sitting around listening to Albert do his thang. Albert is a blues g0d. I think I will go with Jimi or SRV's opinion of AK before your worthless tone deaf take. Albert could bend a note like no one else, which is understandable as dude may have the biggest fukking meathooks I have ever seen. I'll bet he would have made a pretty good defensive end. Dude was one big mofo.

So, why don't you get back to other topics you know fukk all about you complete waste of a cumshot.

And one other thing. Albert had one of the best blues voices, evah.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 3:11 am

Hey toolio, this is what TONE sounds like.

Pretty fukking cool, for a backwards country fool. He has more tone and soul in one of his toenail clipping than you'll ever have.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 4:19 am

I never said Albert king wasn't great, only that Jimi was light years beyond him. As for the tone on the tune I posted, it's appropriate for the song--and meaning. Listen how it actually marries with the bass. And while you're at it, consider these ten basic questions about the greatest event of our lifetimes--the New Pearl Harbor.
http://www.garlicandgrass.org/issue6/Up ... stions.cfm

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 1:27 pm

So LTS TRN 2 is now Toolio? :?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:02 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:So LTS TRN 2 is now Toolio? :?

All the left coast morons on this board pretty much run together for me. Not worth much effort to keep an up to date spreadsheet to me.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:11 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
smackaholic wrote:Hey toolio, this is what TONE sounds like.

Pretty fukking cool, for a backwards country fool. He has more tone and soul in one of his toenail clipping than you'll ever have.
That's just badassed right there.

That is badass turned up to 11.

No wankery bullshit. Simple as hell. Dude plays about a half dozen note over and over, but NOBODY can do it better.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:16 pm

smackaholic wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:So LTS TRN 2 is now Toolio? :?
All the left coast morons on this board pretty much run together for me. Not worth much effort to keep an up to date spreadsheet to me.

Or maybe you're just a dumbfuck.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 09, 2015 8:58 pm

Badass X4.

If I could see one blues performance live, it might be this one. Didn't know you could fit that much talent on one stage.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 12:01 am

Papa Willie wrote:
smackaholic wrote:Hey toolio, this is what TONE sounds like.

Pretty fukking cool, for a backwards country fool. He has more tone and soul in one of his toenail clipping than you'll ever have.
That's just badassed right there.

Check out the Bowser sighting right at the end.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:30 am

No, guzzler, Albert King died in '92. And you were never born. He played one basic riff, again and again--sort of like you, except he was Albert King and you're Gravy Guzzler, an intensely stupid fat fuck who pretends to play shred-lead guitar (chords are not an option). Now..being a nice sort of guy who appreciates the hidden and trampled talent of waitresses and production humps, I actually think you can play or arrange some sort of actual tune. So bring it. I promise I won't be surprised.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 10:10 pm

Of course I saw Sha Na Na waiting to go on. Can you play doo-wop? How about some country pickin', Danny Gatton or Albert Lee style? What the fuck do you play?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Thu Dec 10, 2015 11:49 pm

Not at all, and I basically kicked your ass--and accepted your surrender ("It's not him!"), and am simply asking you to post some actual music so you won't be a totally embarrassed fool. Or what, do you really think those lame blues efforts are anything less than embarrassing? And the question is raised, can you play some cool country stlye? You know, serious pickin' over relatively simple three-chord structures?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:22 am

No, I'm not crying at all. I'm throwing you a bone. Believe it or not, I'm more interested in the U.S. government having been subjected to a fucking coup than having some guitar contest with a one-note shred-head hillbilly who goes by the nic of "shutyomouth." My post stands, even if you pretend to deny it, and all I'm saying is hey, put up some music we might enjoy. If I choose to post some more, so what?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 8:48 am

And..who are these "people that matter"? Um..are these "trolls" like yourself, selfless idiots who are ready and willing to say anything and nothing?

Who are you trying to bullshit?

Let's hear some actual music? I'm not suggesting that you can't play, I'm only wondering what you have developed..over the years you've obviously put in..I understand...I know you're not merely the cruelly harassed fat fuck who couldn't do twenty push-ups if fixed with a gun. I know that you can apply yourself to the fret board of a guitar and actually Play..

Okay, so play...let's hear something you've composed and recorded. What's so reactionary about that? :wink:

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:25 am

but..I've already provided..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knalsEDzIB0

Listen and watch.carefully.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:42 pm

I may not be one of those "people that matter", but I have heard examples of Spray's work and he does have serious geetar skills. LTS TRN 2, not so much so.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:52 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:I may not be one of those "people that matter"

There's certainly no question about that.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Dec 11, 2015 5:58 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:I may not be one of those "people that matter", but I have heard examples of Spray's work and he does have serious geetar skills. LTS TRN 2, not so much so.
Thanks, Goobs. Pretty sure that just about every single poster here has heard something I've done.

Poor LTS. "Head out of ass" doesn't apply to him.

You two oughta get a room.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 7:17 am

No. I've nothing but contempt for this gravy guzzling disgusting fraud. And for his dribbling cohorts. What the fuck is a troll, anyway? Is it actually someone who sits around and piles on the internet with intentionally stupid, evasive and digressive takes?..just for..what? Are you getting paid?

The disgusting slob in question, who goes by the nic "shutyomouth" has demonstrated his tired and bland abilities of imitating tired and fraudulent guitarists of bands who were fake from the get go.

I've put up one tune--listen to it closely and stop pretending to be stupid.

This thread is done.

WW

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 8:38 am

What poll? It is what it is. So stop gnawing my ankle, you disgusting dried puke stain.

2. BUSH'S REACTIONS ON 9-11.

Why did George Bush go into a meaningless photo op in an elementary school after hearing that an airliner had crashed into the World Trade Center? He was briefed by National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice before entering the classroom. She must've told him that the plane had been hijacked, since the FAA and NORAD had known it had been hijacked for 45 minutes by this point. She also must've told him that another plane was hijacked, since it had been known of for 20 minutes by this point. Finally, while listening to 2nd graders read, why does Bush merely nod calmly when told about the second plane smashing into the WTC? He gazes off into space for whole minutes while the towers burn, looking conflicted and worried.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Dec 13, 2015 1:55 pm

This thread needs another shot of febreeze to counter being let's turded on multiple times.

Enjoy, sinners.

This just may be the best thing on the interwebs.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Mon Dec 14, 2015 12:07 am

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 1:39 pm

smackaholic wrote:
Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:I may not be one of those "people that matter", but I have heard examples of Spray's work and he does have serious geetar skills. LTS TRN 2, not so much so.
Thanks, Goobs. Pretty sure that just about every single poster here has heard something I've done.

Poor LTS. "Head out of ass" doesn't apply to him.
You two oughta get a room.

A big old room.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 1:47 pm

Use Screwey's dome. That way you'll have someone to clean up afterwards.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 7:28 pm

Fatman's guitar playing sounded like two fags playing skin flutes, which is probably what it was.
Horrid sounding.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:04 pm

I'm no expert on alternate lifestyle musical sounds, so I must defer to your expertise here little man.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:30 pm

So you are obsessed with my body but you're not a fag. So what? You just crossdress with KCpurse and AtomicPanties?
I shall call you Pantiesaholic.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 10:02 pm

Keep looking asshat.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:00 pm

Yo guzzler, there it is, your real thing. It's similar to what I remember from the samples you posted last year or whatever.That shred-style. Cute enough as a hit piece, though you've never actually seen m-sale or been able to address or refute any of his actual takes. Anyway, the tune is that predictable metalish churn, and the solos are so tedious and flailing--how can you stand to play that shrieking jizz-noise for more than eight seconds? It's so fake and boring, in fact it's exactly what caused an entire generation of young players to abandon the whole fake-shred hair-band sound and start the punk and alternative genres. Obviously blues and jazz, country and Irish, raggae and Latin, and fuck, even klezmer and Eastern European music is entirely beyond your narrow one-man fart stain on Eddie Van Halen's underwear. But hey, rock on. :wink: