T1B

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:42 am**

Sig bets and shit. I ain't skeert!

Kinda pissed I traded tickets to todays game for last nights, but I still had fun spending like fourteen thousand dollars on beers and souvi's last night. The park was fucking LOUD, too! I also managed to get lost A-FUCKING-GAIN in downtown trying to leave the park. I do this everytime and end up in like 3rd Ward with crack dealers cocking their guns and wanting my sweet ride. I'm all "NO! I'm not giving you these things. Do you like Big Red?" and pull a power brake then I flip them off when I'm 6.3 miles away. That's how Prime rolls.

Memo to Mayor- One way streets everywhere are fucking geigh-btw :roll: I think Transtar laughs at me everytime I leave.

Seriously, this should be another series to remember. If only we had Andy last year, I feel it would have been us who would have been ass whooped by the Red Sox in the WS. No, really.

I would say good luck, but I'm not Bacefelice and lies. I hope we sweep you and face the Yanks in the WS. That would be dreamy.

Anyways...who's in?

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 10:24 am**

i think you and your Asstro bretheren kinda forogt about this thread

Web Page Name

So, we'll call it double or nothing.

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:09 pm**

Big time ass-whuppin' for Strofan comin', Jerry. You vaunted starting three went 2-4 against us this year. You've got Lidge and a shitty left field porch and that's it.

Whether the Lastros or the Cards go to the WS, I'll be happy.

l to r: Cards defense, Cards pitching

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:48 pm**

Bizzarofelice wrote:
l to r: T1B posters
not pictured: toddowen

FTFY

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:13 pm**

Sooo, I just got off of the phone with a St. Louis homer and he tells me good things since we're on to our second year of series bets. Is it true that Mulder is down for the count and might not pitch? Is it also true the Pujols tripped over his cat and walks with the limp?

I lost the bet last year and had to send him some damn good Texas BBQ. I would prefer not to spend money on him again, so please tell me good things.

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:20 pm**

--Ain't heard nuthin' 'bout Pujols. If he was hurt, it would be headlines.
--Mulder will go in this series. He had a welt on his arm from Randa's line drive, but that was only going to keep him out of the remainder of the Padres series. He'll probably pitch against y'all at Minute Maid with that damned joke of a left field.
--Homes can send you some sweet and smoky pork instead of that beef brisket crap Texas issues. Park steaks must be issued.

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:33 pm**

Bizzarofelice wrote:Homes can send you some sweet and smoky pork instead of that beef brisket crap Texas issues. Park steaks must be issued.

It's obvious you've never had a tender, "fall off the fork" 10 hour, slow smoked brisket cooked by my pops. That shit is like 'last meal before death' good. I'm not even lying.

Pork is eh. Vinegar in the barbecue sauce is teh TOTAL suck anyways so it's worst than eh. Dry heave eh suck if that's how ya'll cook 'em.

And FYI- He and his office mates loved the brisket and sauce so much they begged for the recipe and smoking tips. I laughed at the silly request.

I'm already nervous.

Posted: **Mon Oct 10, 2005 4:51 pm**

My sister has adopted the Astros since she's moved down to Houston...she's just called and told me that she's going to Game 5 by the way...I suppose I'm pulling for the Astros also. I don't really dislike the Cardinals...I'd root for either team if they face the White Sox in the World Series. I will root for an NL team before I root for the Red Sox, Yankees or any other AL Central team. I'm neutral with the Angels.

Posted: **Tue Oct 11, 2005 6:49 pm**

Hey Prime, when did they stop selling Beer for that game?

I was thinking it might be freaking brutal to sit for a whole other 9 innings without any beer.

Posted: **Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:02 pm**

I didn't attend. I had tickets for Sunday but traded them for Saturday nights action. Kinda happy about that, too. No WAY I would sit through anything past 13 innings.

I have irritable bowels.

Posted: **Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:14 pm**

I've got a buddy who runs a luxury box at minute Maid. I would have snuck my ass up there and leeched of his corporate buddies, but to be Joe Scmoe and sit for an extra 3 hours with no beer, while still pissing out the swill you already bought? No thanks!

Posted: **Wed Oct 12, 2005 11:04 pm**

From the Brushback:

ST LOUIS--The St Louis Cardinals have reached the second round of the National league playoffs, and the city is once again swept up in the excitement of October baseball. Local fans, armed with hand-painted signs, crazy, bright red wigs, and clever-yet-inoffensive chants will pack Busch stadium and try to rattle the underdog Houston Astros. The adorable little fan base actually believes it is capable of being intimidating.

“I can’t wait to go to the ballpark and make some noise!” said 73-year-old retiree Ethel Koslowski. “I’m gonna wear my Cardinal-red sweatshirt and bring some pom-poms and cheer with all my might—except when the Astros are up. They won’t get anything from me except the usual polite standing ovation.”

Other fans are preparing for the big showdown by drawing up quaint little posterboard signs that praise the Cardinals in a manner that utilizes the letters E, S, P, and N.

“I’ve got this one great sign I’m making up that says ‘Everyone Supports Pujols Now!’” said Timothy Newton, 12. “Did you notice how the first letters of all the words spell ‘ESPN?’ That will definitely get me on Sportscenter. I hope the Astros notice, because then they’ll wish they never messed with the Cards in the first place. Yay, Cardinals! We must protect this house!”

If anybody can vouch for the cuteness of Cardinals’ fans, it’s the San Diego Padres, who just completed a three-game series against St Louis. Though they were soundly defeated, the Padres said that playing at Busch stadium “was a really pleasant experience.”

“Well that was nice. Those fans sure are terrific,” said outfielder Dave Roberts. “We got our asses handed to us by the Cardinals, but the fans really had nothing to do with it. Sure, they’re loud and supportive, but intimidating? Ha, that’s funny. After playing in the Yankees-Red Sox series last year I expected at least one person in St Louis to threaten to kill me. But they didn’t. The worst thing I heard was ‘Hey Roberts! You suck compared to Jim Edmonds!’ And that was from Jim Edmonds.”

The Astros also played in St Louis last year and reported similar experiences. In fact, some of them enjoyed the St Louis fans so much they were envious of the Cardinals players.

“Those fans are a lot of fun. I wish I could play here,” said pitcher Roy Oswalt. “It seems like every one of them is a cute little old lady or an adorable little kid. Sometimes when I’m playing somewhere like Philly, I get batteries thrown at me. Nobody in St Louis throws batteries at you—except for that one time when I was sitting in the bullpen and I announced that my iPod was out of batteries and somebody threw me a couple AAA batteries to help me out. That was nice, especially since they went through the trouble of enclosing them in a soft, knitted cover so they wouldn’t hurt my hands when I caught them.”

Cardinals fans aren’t just polite, they’re also extremely knowledgeable. Unlike the average baseball fan, the people of St Louis appreciate the little things, like sacrifice bunts and breaking up a double play.

During the NL divisional playoff series, broadcaster Jon Miller was amazed by the fans’ deep knowledge of the game.

“And you hear now these St Louis fans showing their appreciation for that sacrifice bunt,” Miller told his partner, Joe Morgan, after Cards second basemen David Eckstein executed a perfect sacrifice. “Here in St Louis, the fans know the game and they understand the value of doing the little things to help your team win. They’re nothing like those idiots in other cities, who don’t understand that concept, and viciously boo whenever someone successfully moves a runner over. Jesus, how do those dipshits manage to dress themselves in the morning?”

So as the Cardinals prepare for their upcoming series against the Astros, they are calling on fans to bring their ‘A’ game and rattle the opposition. In reality, they all know that’s not going to happen.

“We’d love to have our fans show up and shout obscenities at the opposing players and hurl hurtful insults at them, but that’s just wishful thinking,” said manager Tony LaRussa“What’s more likely is that they’ll smile a lot, sing songs, clap their hands and act like they’re at a church social. Of course, when we go to Houston we’ll be getting all kinds of shit from the fans. They’ll be screaming and cursing like a bunch of maniacs. Too bad they play at Minute Maid park. That place couldn’t be intimidating if it was being used for a Hamas rally.”

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:39 am**

The worst thing I heard was ‘Hey Roberts! You suck compared to Jim Edmonds!’ And that was from Jim Edmonds.”

That is fucking funny.

Kinda like our offense.

DAMNIT THIS IS THE SUCK!

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:05 am**

Fun game for Bodeistan.

I had a mid-term tonight and the teacher walked in to tell us that Sanders hit a home run. Needless to say I was the first one "done" and raced the fuck out of there.

Happy Yom Kippur.
Love,
David Eckstein
David Eckberg
David Eckman

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:13 am**

Yeah, I'm not wanting to do this anymore. I'll now be watching the pre-seaon Rockets dominate the other less fortunate guys who *throw balls in baskets.

*If you change the word "baskets" with "mouths" it would be called Dinsdale's mattress -btw.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:23 am**

Hey, so....'sup?

-

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:41 am**

Why is Joe Buck doing the White Sox/Angels game?
Isn't he a Cards' homer?

Kahmah?

He's prolly watching via http://www.sportsline.com

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:47 am**

Does Pedro Astacio look more like

A) Bake McBride?

or

B) Ross Grimsley?

or

C) Grady?

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:58 am**

HORRIBLE CALLS ON AUSMUS!!!!!!! SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD!!!

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:35 am**

too late mother of a fucker. You can't even do it like that.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:12 pm**

chowd103 wrote:Why is Joe Buck doing the White Sox/Angels game?
Isn't he a Cards' homer?

Joe was raised in Busch Stadium. That being said, he's FOX's #1 guy and the AL series is in the #2 and #3 TV markets whilst the NLCS is in the #4 and #32 TV markets.

Cardinalfan gets to hear Steve Lyons.

Primer, how you like that 9th inning strike zone?

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 1:49 pm**

I hope you all die from aggresive chlamydia.

Nyah, bottom line. I still see this going to 7, and anythingm can happen in a game seven. Maybe like you all dying from chlamydia.

BTW, I'm very dissapointed in JunkChin. We all know you wrote that.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:19 pm**

My $100 10-1 Astros to win the WS ticket is not looking too good.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:31 pm**

Bizzarofelice wrote:Primer, how you like that 9th inning strike zone?

I was quite unpleased with that. Very much so.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:40 pm**

PrimeX wrote:
Bizzarofelice wrote:Primer, how you like that 9th inning strike zone?
I was quite unpleased with that. Very much so.

Being at the game and into my 7th $9 beer, I didn't see this. What happened?

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:19 pm**

The ump decided to "expand" the strike zone for Izzy vs. Ausmus errrr 6-4-3. Low and outside, two pitches in a row. If he would have called it right it would have been bases loaded with Assmunch-6-4-3 going to first.

THEN Garner's idiotic decision to pinch hit Viz instead of Bagwell would have turned into a game ending double play instead of a grounder to first to end the game.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 3:26 pm**

Before that at-bat the strike-zone was expanded to "letters-to-ankles."

If Izzy went 3-2 with runners at 1st and 2nd, he would have grooved one and taken the fly-out from a catcher swinging for the fences in a park that isn't a band-box.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:24 pm**

Bizzarofelice wrote:If Izzy went 3-2 with runners at 1st and 2nd, he would have grooved one and taken the fly-out from a catcher swinging for the fences in a park that isn't a band-box.

That'll be next year.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:10 pm**

New Busch.
Old Busch.
Neither of them will have grand slams hit in them when Berkman flicks his wrists.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 6:38 pm**

PrimeX wrote:Sig bets and shit. I ain't skeert!

The last 12 NLCS's have gone to the winner of Game 1...

Are you scared now?

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:08 pm**

Just lil' bit.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:40 pm**

It's a meaningless stat...

Thank God that ump's strike zone in the 9th was about "that little camera in the dirt in front of home plate with the really annoying view... STOP IT!!! YER MAKING ME CROSSEYED" high.

Should be a great series.

Uhhh... we're still on for game 3 and stuff, right? I'll meet you at the Will Call window. I'll be the dude in the $65 Polo shirt. I shit you not. Thanks for springing for this. I'll get ya back for game 6 in St. Louis. Uhm.... riiiiiiggggght.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:44 pm**

I wish somebody would stomp a mudhole in that little fucking camera. Webcam much? I expect some 15 year old to flash her boobies as daddy walks in everytime they go to that view.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:07 pm**

From ESPN

St. Louis Cardinals: Jason Marquis doesn't have to be happy about his assignment to the bullpen, and he's not afraid to share his displeasure at not starting in the playoffs.

"If I'm not in the role that I feel best-suited for, so obviously I'm not happy about it," Marquis told the St. Louis Post Dispatch. "And if anybody in my situation said that they were, they'd be lying."

He lost out on the fourth starting spot to Jeff Suppan.

"I'm used to preparing mentally and physically to go out every five days," Marquis told the paper. "Obviously, it's something I don't enjoy doing, pitching out of the bullpen."

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 8:11 pm**

Marquis melted halfway through the season. He decided he knew better than the coaching staff and started throwing more curve balls. He consequently gave up 13,500 runs. Only after the pitching coach dragged him by the ear to the bullpen and made him 1) throw more sinkers and 2) tire him out before the game so the sinker isn't flat did he start pitching well again.

He's a new daddy. If Marquis hopes to support that child from anywhere but Tampa, he would be wise to stop bitching like a whiny teenage girl. Most baseball players don't suffer such wussiness lightly. Tony LaRussa, a tight-lipped control freak, suffers it even worse. I'd be surprised if he pitches for us again this postseason.

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:06 pm**

Marquis was 4-0 against us this year.

RACK TLR's decision :D

Posted: **Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:12 pm**

IndyFrisco wrote:My $100 10-1 Astros to win the WS ticket is not looking too good.

vegas loves suckers

Posted: **Fri Oct 14, 2005 2:53 am**

UCant's 2,357th Troll wrote:Uhhh... we're still on for game 3 and stuff, right? I'll meet you at the Will Call window. I'll be the dude in the $65 Polo shirt. I shit you not. Thanks for springing for this. I'll get ya back for game 6 in St. Louis. Uhm.... riiiiiiggggght.

Dude, totally. I'll be the dude ghetto leanin' with puka shells and the braided goatee. I also have twelve earrings, will be towing a jetski and carrying a water pistol.

This will be EPIC!

BTW- Still skeert and shit, but Roy O was nailz. I wish this would end after 7 innings.

Posted: **Fri Oct 14, 2005 2:54 am**

NOOOOO!!! Tavarez and his face in in HD!!!!!! OMG, MY FUCKING EYES, THEY BLEEEED!!!!

Posted: **Fri Oct 14, 2005 3:01 am**

RACK my Av again...and again...and again

Yo, X, when they put Zeke in, and you have to look at his grill on your HD, can I have your record player?

T1B

Cardinal nation, let's do this!

Cardinal nation, let's do this!

Re: Cardinal nation, let's do this!