T1B

Is your hockey team in need of help? Perhaps your team has lost the last 4/5 and needs to pull itself out of a slump? Or maybe you need to bump your +/- up from the basement. Perhaps all you need is to level someone skating through center ice with his head down. You know, something to boost your confidence!

Well look no further than us....The Edmonton Oilers. Just listen to what some of our team members have to say!

"I want people to feel good about themselves you know? When the rest of the guys go on a rush I really feel it's my place to hang back and watch it happen. Why gang up on the other team and skate in to join up. Hell, I'll even take my skates right off if you think it will help you."

C. Pronger

"You gots no goal? I whack it in for you. You no worry, get a gatorade."

R. Dvorak

"We try not to be too hung up on the whole numbers thing. Too many people stress the power play. Frankly I think it's just unfair bullying. I mean, a man advantage? What's the sport in that?"

C. Simpson

"Soft goals? Hey, no goal can be too soft. Try some trick shots next time, I'll do ya right."

J. Markkannen


"I'll skate around all night with my head down if that's what it takes. Seriously."

A. Hemsky

"I am so fucking fired."

C. MacTavish


WOW! With members working hard for you like that how can you not love us? Check your schedule to see when we can help you out next. And remember, we are tax deductable.

Love and best wishes from all of us

The Edmonton Oilers

Gotta rack that!!

I had the pleasure of watching that game last night, and I have to say...

For the first time in my life, I don't hate the Oilers; I pity them!!

And that's just unacceptable. What is sport if it's not an outlet for you to unabashedly hate another human being? What is it when your enemies need consolation? What is the use of having Oiler fans in your office if they spend their days moping around?

This has just got to stop, and I, for one, am hoping those Greaseballs get their game back on track. But right now, this is about as pitiful an Oiler team as I have ever watched.

But I have to say, when Dvorak went roof on Markkanen, that was one of the prettiest deflection goals I've ever seen!!

You forgot what the following players had to say:

"Why can't we all just get a long?"
G. Laraques

"I just happened to stop by my bank the other day and holy crap, I'm still getting paid! I, like you, figure that the game had passed be by years ago. Man this organization is generous."
C. Cross

"When we ended the lockout, our pressing needs were goaltending and a first-line scorer. So we sured things up with Chris Pronger and Mike Peca. We're still trying to decide which one of them will play goal."
K. Lowe

"I've got an eye for the net, but I'm still trying to figure out if it's the blue one or the brown one. "
S. Horcoft

I love Kevin Lowe...but he has to be dragged on the carpet for the goalie situation. Conklin is a shell. No confidence..

10 games in and he's been demoted.

Edmonton is not deep in goalies..Where's Lowe's head at?

If he gets himself another goalie I'd put money on them making it to the finals if not winning the Stanley Cup.