Interesting article on the Damon pickup
Dude must read this site... mentioning Delilah and the Phillistines as I had...
Kevin Hench / FOXSports.com
Posted: 3 hours ago
It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life
—Green Day, Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
Good riddance, Johnny Damon, self-proclaimed American idiot.
Though I suppose it was hardly unpredictable that the New York Yankees would overpay a star player as he heads into the decline phase of his career, I guess I thought Damon might be the one guy who could resist the siren call of Delilah.
But no, just as Samson was seduced and betrayed by that treacherous woman, so, too, has Damon capitulated to the overtures of the dark side. Delilah had to coax Samson to sleep in her lap before she had a Philistine shave off his strength-inducing locks. Damon, presumably, will willingly submit to George Steinbrenner's shears as he joins Goliath — after helping slay that particular Philistine in 2004.
Samson's hair had been a symbol of his covenant with God. Damon's hair had been a symbol of his covenant with good in its unending opposition to the Evil Empire. After being shorn, Samson awoke to find that both God and his strength had left him. Will Damon suffer the same fate? (For the sake of Red Sox Nation, he must.)
Damon's authority-defying freak flag will be shorn, its iconic beauty scattered on the barbershop floor. It could always grow back, one presumes, unlike the permanently broken hearts of tens of thousands of New England women who dared to love him.
Okay, before the Old Testament-cum-Star Wars metaphors get any more mixed, strained or tortured, let's subject this free-agent signing to some cold, hard, dispassionate analysis.
Ignoring for a moment Boras' comically ridiculous proclamation that Damon is a better leadoff hitter than Rickey Henderson, just what will the Yankees get for their $52 million?
A centerfielder against whom even 36-year-old backup catchers will go from first to third at will. Have you ever thrown a baseball or football with your opposite hand? This is precisely what it looks like Damon is doing when he uncorks one of his weak, high-arcing parabolas that leave the cutoff man contemplating a fair catch as everybody moves up an extra base. Yes, Damon will match his predecessor Bernie Williams lollipop for lollipop, so Yankees fans will not have to adjust their expectations when it comes to the arm of their centerfielder.
A leadoff man who has posted a .342 on-base percentage away from Fenway Park the past four seasons in Damon's athletic prime. He'll still get to play nine or 10 games a season at Fenway as a visitor with the Evil Empire, but Yankees fans can expect his OBP to be closer to that .342 mark than the .383 he enjoyed at the friendly confines. A sampling of hitters who exceeded a .342 OBP last year includes free-swinging Juan Encarnacion, possible Damon replacement Coco Crisp and legendary hacker Shea Hillenbrand, who had a .343 OBP despite walking only 26 times.
While Damon has shown flashes of power — 20 home runs in 2004 — he dipped to 10 home runs last year. He finished the season with an .805 OPS, which put the one-time Royals outfielder just above current Royals outfielders David DeJesus and Emil Brown (both at .804) as the trio finished 64th, 65th and 66th in the majors in OPS. So I'm assuming Boras believes that DeJesus and Brown are each worth $12.99 million a year.
To be fair, part of Damon's power dip was attributed to the nagging shoulder injury he battled for much of 2005. Yankees fans should be sympathetic to this since they watched their beloved Bernie struggle over the years with various power-sapping shoulder maladies. I don't know if Boras let the Yankees kick the tires on Damon, but there sure are a lot of miles on those treads. A big part of why Johnny D. was so worshipped in Boston is also why any prospective buyer should have been wary of just what kind of violent collisions their high-priced acquisition had endured.
You see, Damon never met an obstacle into which he wouldn't happily crash. Boston fans loved him for this, but it took a toll. It may not be as easy as CarFax, but had Brian Cashman looked beyond Boras' propaganda and had a staffer put together a Damon crash reel, he would have seen: Damon being carried off on a stretcher in the 2003 playoffs after going noggin-to-noggin at full speed with Damian Jackson; Damon slicing his arm open on the Toronto scoreboard in April 2005, forcing the Blue Jays to redesign that neon monstrosity in left-center; and countless showdowns between Damon and the Green Monster's metallic scoreboard.
Damon has put himself through a one-man demolition derby during his four years in Boston. Caveat emptor. But of course the Yankees don't have to be wary. Because even if the Damon signing turns out to be a huge mistake, they'll just swallow the money and overpay for someone else. Luxury tax be damned. As long as the Boss is around and the Empire has its ludicrous TV revenue, the Yankees will buy their way into the playoffs every year, even if it means doubling the payroll of their pursuers.
Even though his power dipped in '05, Damon enjoyed the highest stolen-base percentage of his career, a gaudy .947 success rate. The downside is that his 18 stolen bases were his lowest total in eight years. In Boras' exotic calculus, the guy who tied for 30th in stolen bases in the majors and ranked 43rd in on-base percentage is a Hall-of-Fame-bound second-coming of Rickey Henderson. In truth, Damon is not the equal of the greatest leadoff hitter of all time. In fact, Damon is not the best leadoff hitter on his new team. Derek Jeter had a .389 OBP last year, good for 16th in the majors. For their careers, Jeter's OBP (.386) is superior to Damon's (.353).
All of Boras' suppositions, of course, are based on the fact that unlike the vast majority of major league baseball players throughout history, Damon is not, in fact, entering his decline phase. To merit four years, $52 million, one has to assume that Damon, 32, will be just as productive as he was in his prime and avoid injury despite his hellbent style.
Suppose Damon suffers some nagging injury or is hitting .220 at the end of April next year. Whereas a Boston fan base, so enamored with their long-haired cover boy, might be patient and forgiving, Yankees fans will unleash their usual venom on an overpriced free agent, for whom they have only ill will. After all, it was Damon's two home runs in Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS that sealed the Greatest Choke in Sports History.
And Damon will look in the mirror at his close-cropped visage and ask, "What have I done?"
Judges 16:17 will hold the answer:
That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, there hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.
Good riddance, Johnny Damon. You had the time of your life.
Kevin Hench is the head writer for the Too Late with Adam Carolla show on Comedy Central.
