T1B

Congrats to the slobbering imbeciles from Tessus for striking down the pussies and striking a blow for illiteracy nationwide. Eeeeeessss so beeeeyoooteeeefull. Eeeesssss cumming home all the way to Holstein, Tessusss. Fucking Christ, what a fucking knuckledragger. Still, I suppose I'd rather have a bunch of easily outsmarted inbred pigfuckers on top as opposed to fabulously wealthy, limp-wristed mamma's boys whose daddies can wreck my fucking 401k.

Now, on to the game.

Vince Young was fucking amazing. He's not, however, amazingly cute. That little Reggie Bush kid is one sexy little dude. Anyone who says they don't want to see him dropped into an apron and a wig so they can smack his ass all over the house is a FUCKING LIAR. Little Reggie will be most definitely be made wider and deeper in the NFL. Guarantee that Reggie and his Mom will be working a new Chunky Soup ad where Reggie's Mom hands out some cups of soup to Reggie's teammates who promptly set them down in favor of gangbanging little Reggie's puckered wormhole straight into the emergency room. I don't think I've ever seen a better looking woman than Reggie Bush.

Menstrual cramping and estrogen IV's on the sidelines? Clearly, a large number of the Longhorns are also pussies and had their choice of schools to attend.

Matt Leinhart is a fucking IDIOT. He talks like he has a mouthful of marbles. He must have had the opportunity to play for Tessus, but decided against it because he is far too pretty.

Speaking of pretty...

Leinart's passes were not very crisp in the first half. Why you ask? Well, I'm sure some of you college football faggots can ctrl-cuda me an explanation from some fucking website you don't begin to understand. Don't bother. Notice how Mattie's pants were bunched up and lumpy on his dumper in the first half as if he'd lost a sock or some toilet paper in there? That shit throws off your rhythm. Leinart noticed that no one, not even the infamous fag, Marcus Allen, was checking out his choice pooper from the sidelines because the spandex was stretched over all these bumpy things in his pants. Now, how is a pussy like Matt Leinart supposed to git err done when his ass looks less than its best? Notice how his completion percentage went through the fucking roof in the second half? Notice how smooth his little trousers were as he emerged from the locker room? Uh huh.

Pete Carroll feathers his hair. Nice.

Tessus fans are fucking UGLY. I don't mean to suggest that all Tessuns are necessarily ugly as I've seen more than a few strippers, porn stars, and prom queen/beauty pageant types from Tessus that I'd drop anchor in (they are all FUCKING STUPID, however), but the Tessus football fan is one slackjawed, blubberflapping, coon skin wearing, barnyard loving abomination. Everytime the camera flashed on a section of Horns fans it looked like Wrangler Jeans and the Cracker Barrel were co-sponsoring a Downs Syndrome convention. For the good of the university, Tessus should have paid those fucking nosepickers to stay at home and fight the dirt farm fires.

In contrast, the cheerleaders for USC are fucking DEE-LICIOUS which guarantees that they are all money-grubbing, whiney, miserable cunts of the highest order. I fucking HATE that shit, but just like those tasty little muffintops from high school, they are easily mislead into giving up a slice of the trim. How many times did some breathless, tear-soaked bitch knock on your door at 2:00 in the morning, crying "You said I couldn't get pregnant if we did it in the pool!"

What a damn shame it is to see sworn enemies fall into a felch-fest after the game. Van... Vito... Sportsmanship has no fucking place in sports. Seeing you two tongue each other's labia makes me wonder why you don't sig bet on figure skating. It's a goddamn disgrace.

Lastly, the Tessus helmet has the silhouette of a cow with some antenna shit coming out of its head. A country dude who just moved here apparently to start a career busing tables as opposed to churning butter explained to me that those antenna are actually "horns," and that boy cows have "horns," and are called "bulls." (Now I get it.)

Who the fuck knows shit like this?

Oh. Pete Carroll feathers his hair.

Nice.

If I had to pick only one, it would be --

Moorese wrote:Everytime the camera flashed on a section of Horns fans it looked like Wrangler Jeans and the Cracker Barrel were co-sponsoring a Downs Syndrome convention.

And yes, VY is pretty great -- until he opens his mouth.

I just received notice via PM that (Rack) O-M-G-X is both a Horns fan and one swell looking fella. Good point. I wanted this for him all along.

Okay, I'm already almost completely over this loss now, thanks to Moorese!!

Fucking golden.

Moorese wrote:Notice how Mattie's pants were bunched up and lumpy on his dumper in the first half as if he'd lost a sock or some toilet paper in there? That shit throws off your rhythm. Leinart noticed that no one, not even the infamous fag, Marcus Allen, was checking out his choice pooper from the sidelines because the spandex was stretched over all these bumpy things in his pants. Now, how is a pussy like Matt Leinart supposed to git err done when his ass looks less than its best?

Dude was prepared.

Dinsdale wrote:If I had to pick only one, it would be --

Moorese wrote:Everytime the camera flashed on a section of Horns fans it looked like Wrangler Jeans and the Cracker Barrel were co-sponsoring a Downs Syndrome convention.

Agreed.

Moorese wrote:What a damn shame it is to see sworn enemies fall into a felch-fest after the game. Van... Vito... Sportsmanship has no fucking place in sports. Seeing you two tongue each other's labia makes me wonder why you don't sig bet on figure skating. It's a goddamn disgrace.

'Chive it. And rack Moorese.

I'm sorry. Couldn't help it.

Fucking busboys.

Reading that I envision a drunk Billy Bob Thornton on the set of Bad Santa getting himself into character by typing this dribble and ass pounding some fat chick.

BTW the USC cheerleaders have thunder theighs, while the Texas cheer and Pom squads look oh so hot



more to come shortly...

Vito Corleone wrote:ass pounding some fat chick

Like this one perhaps?

funny Picture, too bad I've seen the same picture with OU, Tennessee, Alabama, and Georgia. I'm pretty sure you can find that same picture in every SEC schools colors. I actually think the real guy is a Tennessee fan I saw a few other pictures of him and his wife in Tennessee stuff.

Vito Corleone wrote:I've seen the same picture with blah, blah, blah...

Of course you have, gomer. It's been wytched over repeatedly to mock fat puke fanbases in fucking fatass areas of the flyover zone you inhabit.

USC fans, pussies that they are, have yet to be similarly treated. Any ideas as to why that might be?

Texasfan, inhabitant of the fattest state in the Union, is trying to crack on the chicks of California, the fittest state in the Union...by using fatsmack.

How clever.

Last I saw these were the fattest states in the US

Mississippi (25.9 percent obesity prevalence)
West Virginia (24.6 percent)
Michigan (24.4 percent)
Kentucky (24.2 percent)
Indiana (24 percent)

Texas is the 37th most fit state in the US while Cali is the 25th most fit state. The funny thing is that Houston, Dallas and San Antonio are three of the top 5 fattest cities but Austin is one of the most Healthy.

Bwa! Rigth. I think maybe one or two of those chicks get their asses in an SC sweater. It's completely reversed too. Those dogs in the front row should be hiding in the back where you finally see one that rates.

Moorese wrote:

Vito Corleone wrote:I've seen the same picture with blah, blah, blah...

Of course you have, gomer. It's been wytched over repeatedly to mock fat puke fanbases in fucking fatass areas of the flyover zone you inhabit.

USC fans, pussies that they are, have yet to be similarly treated. Any ideas as to why that might be?

Maybe because UCLA farkers are too stupid to make a USC pic

Dumbass wrote:Bwa! Rigth. I think maybe one or two of those chicks get their asses in an SC sweater. It's completely reversed too. Those dogs in the front row should be hiding in the back where you finally see one that rates.

Hey Dumbass, what hurt more, Lakers 2k3 losing to the Spurs or USC losing to Texas 2k5?

SoCal must really hate South Texas. :D

Rack Moorese for that blast. Not sure how accurate any of it was but it was some good reading.

Dinsdale wrote:Texasfan, inhabitant of the fattest state in the Union, is trying to crack on the chicks of California, the fittest state in the Union...by using fatsmack.

How clever.

you didn't see those Cal Pom-Pon grammaws that m2 tossed up a while back did you?

Moorese wrote:I just received notice via PM that (Rack) O-M-G-X is both a Horns fan and one swell looking fella. Good point. I wanted this for him all along.

I want to say thank you but then you'll stab my heart and pinch my ass. Again.

Although he makes me punch the walls with his Texas bashing (I'm not just a fan my friend, I was raised in the greatness), I dream of Moorese posts when I dream about the internets. I seriously did that one time and I wasn't even high.

Rack fucking Mo vato loco 4 life.

I saw a few other pictures of him and his wife...

Scariest....possibility...ever.

Where's Euro when we need him, gleefully describing this painted mastodon of the American Heartland...

Truly, I think Carroll is angling for...no, not the NFL, but the songgirl roster. The spread will give way to the POWER running game, and Petey and his blow-dryer will give impetus to the latest cheerleading looks...no more ironed-out hair, but layered, windblown greying locks and sideline jumping jacks.

Rack progress, and Moorese.

Vito Corleone wrote:Last I saw these were the fattest states in the US

Mississippi (25.9 percent obesity prevalence)
West Virginia (24.6 percent)
Michigan (24.4 percent)
Kentucky (24.2 percent)
Indiana (24 percent)

Excellent rebuttal. Tessus is merely 6th out of 50.

Percentage of Adults with Obesity in the U.S. by State

(U.S. States 1991 (%) 1998 (%) 2000 (%) 2001 (%))

Alabama 13.2 20.7 23.5 23.4
Alaska 13.1 20.7 20.5 21.0
Arizona 11.0 12.7 18.8 17.9
Arkansas 12.7 19.2 22.6 21.7
California 10.0 16.8 19.2 20.9
Colorado 8.4 14.0 13.8 14.4
Connecticut 10.9 14.7 16.9 17.3
Delaware 14.9 16.6 16.2 20.0
District of Columbia 15.2 19.9 21.2 19.9
Florida 10.1 17.4 18.1 18.4
Georgia 9.2 18.7 20.9 22.1
Hawaii 10.4 15.3 15.1 17.6
Idaho 11.7 16.0 18.4 20.0
Illinois 12.7 17.9 20.9 20.5
Indiana 14.8 19.5 21.3 24.0
Iowa 14.4 19.3 20.8 21.8
Kansas No data 17.3 20.1 21.0
Kentucky 12.7 19.9 22.3 24.2
Louisiana 15.7 21.3 22.8 23.3
Maine 12.1 17.0 19.7 19.0
Maryland 11.2 19.8 19.5 19.8
Massachusetts 8.8 13.8 16.4 16.1
Michigan 15.2 20.7 21.8 24.4
Minnesota 10.6 15.7 16.8 19.2
Mississippi 15.7 22.0 24.3 25.9
Missouri 12.0 19.8 21.6 22.5
Montana 9.5 14.7 15.2 18.2
Nebraska 12.5 17.5 20.6 20.1
Nevada No data 13.4 17.2 19.1
New Hampshire 10.4 14.7 17.1 19.0
New Jersey 9.7 15.2 17.6 19.0
New Mexico 7.8 14.7 18.8 18.8
New York 12.8 15.9 17.2 19.7
North Carolina 13.0 19.0 21.3 22.4
North Dakota 12.9 18.7 19.8 19.9
Ohio 14.9 19.5 21.0 21.8
Oklahoma 11.9 18.7 19.0 22.1
Oregon 11.2 17.8 21.0 20.7
Pennsylvania 14.4 19.0 20.7 21.4
Rhode Island 9.1 16.2 16.8 17.3
South Carolina 13.8 20.2 21.5 21.7
South Dakota 12.8 15.4 19.2 20.6
Tennessee 12.1 18.5 22.7 22.6
Texas 12.7 19.9 22.7 23.8
Utah 9.7 15.3 18.5 18.4
Vermont 10.0 14.4 17.7 17.1
Virginia 10.1 18.2 17.5 20.0
Washington 9.9 17.6 18.5 18.9
West Virginia 15.2 22.9 22.8 24.6
Wisconsin 12.7 17.9 19.4 21.9
Wyoming No data 14.5 17.6 19.2

http://www.obesity.org/subs/fastfacts/obesity_US.shtml

And California is 17th and catching up fast. but that is not the latest numbers. According to the 2k3 numbers released by the CDC Texas is 13th but only because a few other states have passed them up.

I think anyone running the obesity smack is funny because obesity is a national epidemic not just a thing that is happening in the south. California with a greater population than any other state has doubled its number of obese people in just 10 years. You probably have more obese people than some southern states have total population.

Vito Corleone wrote:And California is 17th and catching up fast. but that is not the latest numbers. According to the 2k3 numbers released by the CDC Texas is 13th but only because a few other states have passed them up.

http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity ... p_2004.gif

You probably have more obese people than some southern states have total population.

Your "water is wet" hypothesis might just be provable if only we could locate someone to design an experiment utilizing ... multiplication. Incidentally, I'm still of the opinion that Tessus leads the way in the percentage of pigfucking mouthbreathers.

And for your edification, Opie, Seattle is not in California.

LOL!!!

http://www.kfdm.com/engine.pl?station=k ... local.html

TOP 25 FATTEST CITIES:

1. Chicago (5)

2. Las Vegas (9)

3. Los Angeles (21)

4. Dallas (6)

5. Houston (1)

6. Memphis, Tenn. (4)

7. Long Beach, Calif. (20)

8. El Paso, Texas (11)

9. Kansas City, Mo. (18 )

10. Mesa, Ariz. (15)

11. Indianapolis (13)

12. San Antonio (10)

13. Fort Worth, Texas (14)

14. Miami (19)

15. Detroit (3)

16. Columbus, Ohio (16)

17. Oklahoma City (21)

18. Cleveland (24)

19. Wichita, Kan. (17)

20. Charlotte, N.C. (24)

21. San Diego (9)

22. Fresno, Calif. (14)

23. Philadelphia (2)

24. San Jose, Calif. (17)

25. New York (8 )

BWAHAHA! WE OWN YOUR PENCIL THIN FLAT BUTTS! OUR FOOD RULZ!

WAR TEX-MEX FRIED BURRITOS BOUGHT FROM TRAILERS ON THE SIDE OF THE FREEWAY WITH 800 BATRILLION CALORIES!

No Pittsburgh on the list? With Primanti Bros. sandwiches and pierogies by the dozen swimming in butter and sour cream...why the hell not?

PSUFAN wrote:No Pittsburgh on the list? With Primanti Bros. sandwiches and pierogies by the dozen swimming in butter and sour cream...why the hell not?

'cuz food stamps only go so far.

Holy shit am I reading this correctly? LA went from 21 to 3 in one year?

Talk about over achieving, I guess fat is in vogue.

Hey Prime you left off the famous taco salad, only in Texas could they take a salad and turn it into a 5000 calorie meal.

Moorese wrote:


And for your edification, Opie, Seattle is not in California.

Did I say it was or is that the Mad Dog 20/20 talking?

Moorese wrote: And for your edification, Opie, Seattle is not in California.

Vito Corleone wrote:Did I say it was or is that the Mad Dog 20/20 talking?

What you wrote was...

Vito Corleone wrote:California with a greater population than any other state has doubled its number of obese people in just 10 years. You probably have more obese people than some southern states have total population.

Perhaps a different pronoun would have done the trick. And as for LA's meteoric rise? Perhaps humble pie will push them to #1 in 2006.

My berg went from like #6 to #16 on the fittest cities list in a year. This is obviously not reasonably attributed to* some radical shift in an entire city's eating habits, but rather the condition of the hords of transplants...stop fucking moving here, Texans.


...I would be more inclined to attribute it to flawed methodology, but if it smacks the Texans and SoCals, what the heck.