T1B

After 29 (some odd) years of whoring myself out to any and all pussy, I am retiring. That's right you fistfuckers, I am settling down and getting married. What I don't want: your sympathy, your best wishes, your T&P. Bring me your best material, you smackless fuckpuppets. Bring me your A game. This place has become unreadable cesspool, whose fecal waves crash down hard upon the shores of my intellect. I haven't beared witness to this much dumb on dumb crime since I mistakenly clicked on a link to TrollTrain.com For the love of God, bring it, you smack sterile, RACKtile dysfunctioning knobgobblers.

Do they build soloflex for two?

UCant#1 wrote:After 29 (some odd) years of whoring myself out to any and all pussy, I am retiring. That's right you fistfuckers, I am settling down and getting married. What I don't want: your sympathy, your best wishes, your T&P. Bring me your best material, you smackless fuckpuppets. Bring me your A game. This place has become unreadable cesspool, whose fecal waves crash down hard upon the shores of my intellect. I haven't beared witness to this much dumb on dumb crime since I mistakenly clicked on a link to TrollTrain.com For the love of God, bring it, you smack sterile, RACKtile dysfunctioning knobgobblers.

RACK



Me Too.



Best wishes to you and your wife to be, brother......

I hope you two are very happy together.

I am going to be popping the question myself any day now, got the ring ordered, just waiting on it.

88 wrote:Who cares?

Already covered in the subject line of the thread. You can read, right?

I hope you guys live happily ever after ever.

PSUFAN wrote:I hope you two are very happy together.

Much like your underwear and the autobahn ovaltine highway on it?



Care for a nice blasting to your seedsippers, cunt? I've got a free hour or so......

Cicero wrote:I hope you guys live happily ever after ever.

Thank you. Maybe you and your roommate can be bridesmaids.

UCant#1 wrote:

88 wrote:Who cares?

Already covered in the subject line of the thread. You can read, right?

Don't be so sure. After reading the taxation thread, you might well come away convinced he's the first functional illiterate to obtain a law license.

Oh, and congrats on the marriage. I just knew trolling schools for the blind would pay off for you. It's got to be so hard juggling a crack habit and wedding plans, so best of luck to you both. Besides, it's about time you developed a hard on for someone other than me.

Only if we can throw your wife a dick ass....sorry....a sick ass Bachelorette Party.

be sure and let us know where your registered so we can pool our money and get you something extra special for your special day........

UCant#1 wrote:After 29 (some odd) years of whoring myself out to any and all pussy, I am retiring. That's right you fistfuckers, I am settling down and getting married. What I don't want: your sympathy, your best wishes, your T&P. Bring me your best material, you smackless fuckpuppets. Bring me your A game. This place has become unreadable cesspool, whose fecal waves crash down hard upon the shores of my intellect. I haven't beared witness to this much dumb on dumb crime since I mistakenly clicked on a link to TrollTrain.com For the love of God, bring it, you smack sterile, RACKtile dysfunctioning knobgobblers.

What's his name?

RACK BSmack for being the first one of you faggots to come out and smack me.

Oh and Felix, screw the "where are you registered bullshit?" I would appreciate a Home Depot Giftcard. I'm sure you delinquents can scrape together a whopping $1.37 or something.

Congrats on finding one drunk enough to say "yes."

Glad you finally found a paraplegic who wasn't in the mood to roll away. Good luck keeping the bed pan sterile.

Fuck is Mace gonna be pisssed.....

You taking his ewe away like that. I suppose you gonna take his knee high boots too bitch ??

Hope your right hand is up to it after you get married....it and your dick gonna get realllll close.

BSmack wrote:Oh, and congrats on the marriage. It's got to be so hard juggling a crack habit and wedding plans, so best of luck to you both. Besides, it's about time you developed a hard on for someone other than me.

I thought Bsmack was telling the truth. You dont have a crack habit?

UCant#1 wrote:
Oh and Felix, screw the "where are you registered bullshit?" I would appreciate a Home Depot Giftcard.

fuck that, i'm sending you a "bucket of nails"....

Hope for your sake the future bride truley appreciates the genuine Gamblers Anonymous degenerate he's landed. I've got the Under on the divorce in 5 years, btw.


Congrats, bro.

Would this bride-to-be also be familiar with what a Choreboy is commonly used for?

Getting married?

Let me guess: You answered an ad in the back of Popular Mechanics and the new missus is being shipped from Russia via UPS.

If you loan me $8 bucks I'll go in on the Hamm's 30-pack for your reception.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Allow 68 weeks for delivery.

My advice to all men.......DON'T FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Once you put that ring on they have won. They own your ass and they know it. After the ring there is nothing left to play for. They know that if you want out it will cost you alot in legal fees, and beyond that they know that the courts will side with them and give them everything. It's a lose/lose proposition.....

Cicero wrote:I thought Bsmack was telling the truth.

It's a smack board. Whether it's true or not is totally irrelevant. Good God, when will you ever "get it"?


RACKS to PrimeX and RF (you should parlay that shit, btw) for playing along.

Neely8 wrote:My advice to all men.......DON'T FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Once you put that ring on they have won. They own your ass and they know it. After the ring there is nothing left to play for. They know that if you want out it will cost you alot in legal fees, and beyond that they know that the courts will side with them and give them everything. It's a lose/lose proposition.....

Shut the fuck up you spineless pussy. Just because you fagged it up and gave all the power to your ex by acting like a gushing puffy snatchflap doesnt mean Ucant will.

You might have heard of something called "A set of balls". Look into getting yourself a pair than doesnt rest on your fucking chin 24/7, bitch.

Can me and SG be Ushers???

Raydah James wrote:Just because you K.C. Pursestringed v 0.0 it up and gave all the power to your ex by acting like a gushing puffy snatchflap doesnt mean Ucant will.

Fixed.

There's a "$75 tuxedo rental" joke in there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to find it.

Raydah James wrote:

Neely8 wrote:My advice to all men.......DON'T FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Once you put that ring on they have won. They own your ass and they know it. After the ring there is nothing left to play for. They know that if you want out it will cost you alot in legal fees, and beyond that they know that the courts will side with them and give them everything. It's a lose/lose proposition.....

Shut the fuck up you spineless pussy. Just because you fagged it up and gave all the power to your ex by acting like a gushing puffy snatchflap doesnt mean Ucant will.

You might have heard of something called "A set of balls". Look into getting yourself a pair than doesnt rest on your fucking chin 24/7, bitch.

Like to see how tough you are in a courtroom. Im sure that would go over swimmingly with the Judge.......

Neely8 wrote:Like to see how tough you are in a courtroom.

I think his point is, it'd never get that far. Your posts have always reeked of manjuice and I'm sure you're just a big a pussy in real life as you've demonstrated here. Women want a man, not someone who's got a bigger menstrual cycle than they do. You got divorced because after you got married, your wife found out your man-labia dwarfed her oversized meat curtains. You'd better checking out the Blue Oyster for weekly specials on ass condoms, because the only pussy you'll ever see is when you reach down to crop your mangina every morning in the shower with your Lady Bic.

UCant#1 wrote:I'm sure you're just a big a pussy in real life as you've demonstrated here.

No way, dude.

You've obviously how tough this guy was after Darwin sparked up that blaze at the Great White show. Dude was looking to kick every ass in the Eastern Time Zone.

It's a smack board. Whether it's true or not is totally irrelevant. Good God, when will you ever "get it"?

You really need to condense it down some more, that's still going to baffle him all fucking night. And then he will call you bitches and shit and claim BODE on you.

Yeah nobody gets divorced. I mean that whole 50% figure is just a number. So if you do get married and things don't work out then what would your solution be?

Ucunt,

Thought and prayers to the poor slunt whose best option in life was marrying you.

Raydah James wrote:

Neely8 wrote:My advice to all men.......DON'T FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Once you put that ring on they have won. They own your ass and they know it. After the ring there is nothing left to play for. They know that if you want out it will cost you alot in legal fees, and beyond that they know that the courts will side with them and give them everything. It's a lose/lose proposition.....

Shut the fuck up you spineless pussy. Just because you fagged it up and gave all the power to your ex by acting like a gushing puffy snatchflap doesnt mean Ucant will.

You might have heard of something called "A set of balls". Look into getting yourself a pair than doesnt rest on your fucking chin 24/7, bitch.

wow. rack rj for bringing the fucking wood on this thread.

Neely8 wrote:So if you do get married and things don't work out then what would your solution be?

Why I'd bend over on message board on daily basis, smoke 3 packs of Marlboros/day, and post pictures of my lard ass sitting on top of the Green Monster a mile away from home plate, elbowing Bob fucking Uecker in the seat next to me saying, "Good seats, eh buddy?"

Neely8 wrote:I mean that whole 50% figure is just a number.

That's fuzzy math.

Neely8 wrote:So if you do get married and things don't work out then what would your solution be?

I'd borrow Scott Petersen's boat for the weekend.

UCant#1 wrote:

Neely8 wrote:So if you do get married and things don't work out then what would your solution be?

Why I'd bend over on message board on daily basis, smoke 3 packs of Marlboros/day, and post pictures of my lard ass sitting on top of the Green Monster a mile away from home plate, elbowing Bob fucking Uecker in the seat next to me saying, "Good seats, eh buddy?"

UCant#1 wrote:I'd smoke 3 packs of Marlboros/day

NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sin,
Jimmy Med's health care costs

First of all, will there be a prenup?

Second of all, marriage is not at all a bad thing. Its the divorce part that's killer.

See, and there's the problem. So many of us, including myself, just assuming that there will be a divorce of the parties.

Third, are you going to Vegas for this? It is fact that 80% of the people who get married there get a divorce within a year.

Fourth, do either of you have preexisting offspring? There are always issues with that.

Fifth, are you both extremely financially secure? Money is another root to divorce.

Sixth, are you currently taking Viagra? If so, then it won't end in divorce, that'll just be a keeling over from heart attack situation.

Seventh, pets. People fight over preexisting pets like you would not believe.

Eighth, heritage. You can guarantee if she isn't Cambodian or something to that effect, she's gonna gain an assload of chub and you probably will too. This then will effect your sex life and be another cause for divorce.

Ninth, your friends. How tight are you with your friends? She may act like she likes them now, but I can guarantee, about six months after those vows are taken, it will go something like this, "do you have to spend so much time with that (insert friend's name here)? I can't stand the way he (insert anything, she'll come up with a reason).

Tenth, if her friends are hotties. First of all, if they are hot, you're screwed. She is going to catch you gawking where ya shouldn't be and it'll be you to the sofa, then the curb.

Eleventh, if her friends are annoying. You want to watch tv in the evening and the friends call repeatedly. This would be cool, however, you're going to get this while she's on the phone: "Oh my GOD Lisa, hang on, I just have to tell him."... "Honey, I know you're trying to watch the game/24/cnbc, but you won't believe what Lisa just told me." This will go on for about twenty minutes, causing you to miss a crucial part of the show because

Twelveth, YOU AREN'T PAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION. That's right, you are led to believe that she isn't high maintenence, but once you're there, its PAY ATTENTION to anything that doesn't involve her and suddenly you are a jerk who doesn't pay attention. Keep in mind, there are other jerks out there who don't mind paying attention to married woman.

Thirteenth. Well, lucky for you, at this time, I can't think of a thirteenth yet, but when it comes to me, I'll be sure to post it.