24 theology
Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:47 am
You might have seen some Jack Bauer facts floating around online (such as these posted by Steve McCoy), but we've put together some other facts you might not know about Jack...
Jack Bauer believes in Divine Election because he understands what it means to control everything.
Jack Bauer is a Complimentarian- everyone submits to him.
Jack Bauer once questioned the authenticity of the Bible, so he brought the authors back to life and tortured them until he was convinced they were telling the truth.
Jesus will return when Jack Bauer dies. The problem is that he keeps coming back to life.
Jack Bauer knows whether the earth is “young” or “old,” but no one’s successfully tortured it out of him.
For Jack Bauer, confrontation is the only form of evangelism.
1/3 of the angels fell when Jack Bauer kicked them out of heaven for not telling him who they worked for.
Jack Bauer is proof of Intelligent Design.
Luckily, the Egyptians gave in after the 10th plague because number 11 was going to be Jack Bauer.
The 10 spies gave a bad report because they saw Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer is his own accountability partner and community.
http://ateam.blogware.com/blog/_archive ... 56352.html
Jack Bauer believes in Divine Election because he understands what it means to control everything.
Jack Bauer is a Complimentarian- everyone submits to him.
Jack Bauer once questioned the authenticity of the Bible, so he brought the authors back to life and tortured them until he was convinced they were telling the truth.
Jesus will return when Jack Bauer dies. The problem is that he keeps coming back to life.
Jack Bauer knows whether the earth is “young” or “old,” but no one’s successfully tortured it out of him.
For Jack Bauer, confrontation is the only form of evangelism.
1/3 of the angels fell when Jack Bauer kicked them out of heaven for not telling him who they worked for.
Jack Bauer is proof of Intelligent Design.
Luckily, the Egyptians gave in after the 10th plague because number 11 was going to be Jack Bauer.
The 10 spies gave a bad report because they saw Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer is his own accountability partner and community.
http://ateam.blogware.com/blog/_archive ... 56352.html