Question for U&L'ers

[atomicdad]

What kind of podunk in the middle of nowhere place is "John Day"?

[Dinsdale]

First off, I must correct you...John Day, Oregon, is in Idaho.

Wrong side of the mountains to be considered U&L...to a purist, anyway. Completely different region of the country, as far as the people that matter are concerned, anyway.

But to adress the question...

Sounds like Timmay's gig. He's the Drysider here.

Haven't been that way in a loooong time, but...I think your topic title answers your own question.

Long story short -- east of the Cascades(the psuedo-U&L), if the town isn't named Bend, Redmond, or Sisters...whooooooole lotta cousinfucking going on.....and those towns ain't exactly free of mouthbreaters, either.

That's a serious chunk of the Old West, right there. My U&L history ain't exactly perfect, but I believe John Day is kind of where the Range War, aka "Sheepshooters War" was focused around ...kind of an ugly bit of American history(so naturally, history books rarely mention it). Americans shooting Americans over the type of livestock they chose to raise...the Muttonhunters won in the end.

Still a ranching area.

But anyhoo....yup, John Day is freaking hodunk. You going there? Moving there? Enjoy the 5000 degree days in the summer, and the -500 degree mornings in winter. On the bright side, it very rarely rains there. Moreso than surrounding areas, since there's nearby mountains that "knock down" what little "weather" makes it over the Cascades, but very little precipitation outside of the winter months (when it snows). The scrubgrass grows like crazy when it gets wet, and gives the cattle something to eat for the rest of the year.

Bring your cowboy hat, boots, and beltbuckle...you'll need it.

Food for thought -- much of Eastern Oregon is very beautiful, and land and open spaces are plentiful...yet few people live there. Do the math.


Ever bumped around rural Arizona or Nevada? Take away the cactus, and it's the same freaking place, although a few degrees cooler. Sagebrush and scrubgrass -- ponderosa pines in places where there's water.


I'd love to really get into detail for you...but that's the wrong side of the mountains for this kid. 0.0% humidity all day every day damages the human brain.

[Felix]

First off, I must correct you...John Day, Oregon, is in Idaho.

don't be trying to pawn that POS off on Idaho......we've got enough trouble dealing with the town of Athol........

[Dinsdale]

Unless you're talking about the unincorporated area also known as John Day, up near Astoria.

That would be a different story...but I highly doubt this is the John Day you're referring to.

[Mikey]

I though he was the fat dude who smokes and hits 400 yard drives.

My bad.

[Dinsdale]

don't be trying to pawn that POS off on Idaho......

Too freaking bad. We're Oregon -- we ARE the U&L. Washington and Idaho are what they are because Oregon didn't want them. Hell, Oregon took all of the cool islands in the Columbia, and set the OR/WA border a few freaking feet off the Washington shore.

Oregon has so much BODE on the matter, that Idaho has actually been cast out of the U&L, long ago, and is now considered to be in the "Mountain West."

What the hell is wrong with the Idahos, anyway? Why would you even want to try and pawn yourselves off as the "Pacific Northwest?" Just makes you look like the tards you are, since there's nowhere in the entire state of Idaho that's within about a 10 freaking hour drive of the Pacific....HELLO? Maybe Portland should start referring to itself as being part of the "San Francisco Bay Area" -- it's about the same distance away from SF Bay that Boise is from the Pacific.


Sorry, Felix....we Oregonians are, were, and will always be the arbiters of which parts of Transcascadia(cool name-btw) will be relegated to Idaho and/or Nevada.

Look on the bright side...at least we didn't declare you to be a part of california.

[Trampis]

I guess for the most part Dins is right. If you have web feet like the rest of the libs from the west side then the heat will bother you, otherwise enjoy the big sky and ubundent sunshine the traditional values side of the state bodes.

They do have ,I think,...the John Day fossil beds there.Bunch of sea fossils buried in the brightly colored clay hills. Pretty place from what Ive been told and there is a bit of hiking you can do around the fossil beds.

[PSUFAN]

Is the U&L properly mapped? Shouldn't it be way bigger?

[Dinsdale]

They do have ,I think,...the John Day fossil beds there.Bunch of sea fossils buried in the brightly colored clay hills. Pretty place from what Ive been told and there is a bit of hiking you can do around the fossil beds.

I forgot that part. Never done the Fossil Beds thing, but I've heard it's pretty cool.


Of course, I can do the same thing about a half hour or so away in Vernonia...but them Drysiders need to feel cool, too.

[Trampis]

Sorry, Felix....we Oregonians are, were, and will always be the arbiters of which parts of Transcascadia(cool name-btw) will be relegated to Idaho and/or Nevada.

When cascadia falls into the ocean when the big one hits,grab a cousin and swim on over.

[Dinsdale]

Is the U&L properly mapped?

No. It should be much smaller than portrayed.

The north/south border of the U&L, aka "Pacific Northwest" extends from a point around Roseburg(south of Eugene), to somewhere around Bellingham, WA to the north. The east/west boundary is defined by the Pacific Ocean, and the crest of the Cascade Mountains.


Any other definition is that of an uninformed person.


OF COURSE, the higher-ups of the U&L command chain reserve the right to temporarily annex and subsequently banish surrounding regions, if said higher-ups feel it is cool to do so at the time. Examples of this might include annexation of the Rogue and Umpqua Rivers for fishing purposes, temporary annexations of Crater Lake to coincide with vacations, the Deschutes River Valley for rafting purposes, and things of that nature. Unfortunately for the Drysiders, I believe the U&L has permanently annexed Mt Bachelor, since the U&Lers enjoyed it too much to let a bunch of inbreds lay claim to it.

[Dinsdale]

When cascadia falls into the ocean when the big one hits,grab a cousin and swim on over.

When the Big One hits, that point is moot -- without the U&Lers to support your sorry fucking asses every minute of every day, you arid-brainers would starve to death...if you didn't die of unmitigated stupidity fist.

[PSUFAN]

unmitigated stupidity fist.

Sounds brutal.

[YD]

any smart U&L'er would invest as much $$ in the area in the middle of Oregon as they could. You do have to actually water your lawn here though.

the Johnny D is deec place if you are a not so sqeemish fly fisherman*,geologist,fossil jockey, or just plain red neck.

Remember the little town in the movie Footloose?

Not a lot out there, get your fancier provisions before you leave civilization.

On the bright side , they don't have a "girls chaw spittin team" at the High School (sup Baker)






*You float the Johnny D, you pack all your shit and piss in and out in a 5 gl bucket. I've seen em crack open in the sun on the boat, spill, you name it.freekin gorss

[Dinsdale]

any smart U&L'er would invest as much $$ in the area in the middle of Oregon as they could. You do have to actually water your lawn here though.

Tears streaming down my face.

Is that what "intelligent" U&Lers do, Timbo?

Really?

Out Here, where the People Of Varying Last Names live, we don't have to water our lawns. As a matter of fact, most of us don't. We instead utilize that "dormancy" thing that grass offers, so rather than running those smog-machines known as "lawnmovers," and rather than wasting water on greening up a stupid freaking lawn that just needs mowing, we generally save that water for other things...like agriculture, and silly shit like that.

Yet the tards with much more limited access to water in the summer than that watering and mowing their lawn is a good use of resources.


And that's why the (arrogant) U&Lers laugh at the Drysiders...or one of many reasons.

[Mikey]

One thing about the U&L...

Most of the historic heroes (Bill Walton, Lewis & Clark, Dan Fouts) were from somewhere else. At least Sonny Sixkiller was local.

[Felix]

you U&L dudes think quite a bit of yourselves don't you?

the rest of us "scorn" you....not openly mind you, but the scorn is there.......

At least Sonny Sixkiller was local.

[Dinsdale]

Most of the historic heroes (Bill Walton, Lewis & Clark, Dan Fouts) were from somewhere else. At least Sonny Sixkiller was local.

You forgot possibly the Greatest U&L Hero of them all -- Oswald West.

But he's from canada.

Oswald West has a great æffect on your life too, Mikey -- but as a general rule, calis are ignorant by nature, and probably have no idea why they owe one of the early "flaming liberals" such a debt of gratitude, as do people in other parts of the country.

[YD]

any smart U&L'er would invest as much $$ in the area in the middle of Oregon as they could. You do have to actually water your lawn here though.

Tears streaming down my face.

thats rain dude

Is that what "intelligent" U&Lers do, Timbo?

its what I did.

my house went up 100k in less than a yr. They are still flooding in from all over. A LOT of midwesterners lately.

I'll admit that was kinda "spraying the area" for lack of a clean shot, but dude c'mon have you even been here in the last 5 years?

[Dinsdale]

you U&L dudes think quite a bit of yourselves don't you?

Shit...maybe you aridbrains aren't quite as dumb as the drool constantly coming from the corners of your mouths might lead us to believe.

[Felix]

you U&L dudes think quite a bit of yourselves don't you?

Shit...maybe you aridbrains aren't quite as dumb as the drool constantly coming from the corners of your mouths might lead us to believe.

it is on mofo.......

we don't take kindly to being called aridbrains......

[Terry in Crapchester]

Is the U&L properly mapped?

No. It should be much smaller than portrayed.

Actually, I think you missed the joke here.

I remember seeing a "Californian's map of the world" back in the day. Needless to say, most of the land area in the U.S. was California ('sup, Schmick). I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's what PSUFAN was driving at.

This would make a lot more sense if you saw the "Californian's map of the world." It's probably on the internets somewhere, but I'm a little too lazy, ERRR, busy, to look for it right now.

[Dinsdale]

have you even been here in the last 5 years?

In the last 5, I'm not sure I have. Been through Redmond and Sisters in that period...don't recall hitting Bend last time around. Plenty of shitty misized cities around here -- I don't need to put any special emphasis on seeking out another one.


Hell, the area was exploding 15-20 years ago, and I don't doubt it's escalated since. And believe it or not, you clowns didn't invent explosive appreciation rates for realty, either. Last numbers I saw, Tigard/Wilsonville was clipping along at 21.3% APR (although the sheet that came off is outdated slightly). Do the math on that one....or do they teach math in your one-room K-12 schools there?

[Dinsdale]

OK, maybe you are as dumb as we think you are --

we don't take kindly to being called aridbrains......

I believe the correct east-of-the-Cascades terminology is "we don't COTTON too well to being called aridbrains."


Buncha slack-jawed aridbrains. Newsflash, dipshits -- water is crucial to all life on earth. You choose to live in an area that doesn't really have mucvh to speak of, and what's there comes from somewhere else.

Now, for the big question -- would you say that removing yourself from the simple liquid that supports all life on planet Earth is A) intelligent, or B) fucking stupid?

Think it over.

[Dinsdale]

Actually, I think you missed the joke here.

Actually, when I need tutoring in the humor department, Terry, I wouldn't stay up late waiting for your phone to ring, if'n you know what I mean.

Actually, I think YOU missed the joke....which was creating an opposite effect of the all-inclusive "Californian's map of the world."


See, rather than making our region larger, my joke referred to making it smaller, and therefor more elitist, such as referring to Medford/Ashland OR as part of NoCal, and Baker/John Day as part of Idaho.


Get it now?

[YD]

and what's there comes from somewhere else.

ok einstein, where are we shipping water in from?

[Mikey]

Most of the historic heroes (Bill Walton, Lewis & Clark, Dan Fouts) were from somewhere else. At least Sonny Sixkiller was local.

You forgot possibly the Greatest U&L Hero of them all -- Oswald West.

But he's from canada.

Oswald West has a great æffect on your life too, Mikey -- but as a general rule, calis are ignorant by nature, and probably have no idea why they owe one of the early "flaming liberals" such a debt of gratitude, as do people in other parts of the country.

Did he have anything to do with Artemis Gordon?

[Terry in Crapchester]

Actually, I think you missed the joke here.

Actually, when I need tutoring in the humor department, Terry, I wouldn't stay up late waiting for your phone to ring, if'n you know what I mean.

Actually, I think YOU missed the joke....which was creating an opposite effect of the all-inclusive "Californian's map of the world."


See, rather than making our region larger, my joke referred to making it smaller, and therefor more elitist, such as referring to Medford/Ashland OR as part of NoCal, and Baker/John Day as part of Idaho.


Get it now?

Fair enough, Dins. I was just pointing out PSU's point, which, at a minimum, you glossed over.

Just a harmless dig at you. Much like many Californians think that California is the center of the entire universe (hence the Californian's map of the world), you come across as that way about the U&L.

And btw, in the Californian's map of the world, California was basically the same shape as it is in reality, just the rest of the U.S. was distorted to make it look like California occupied much more of the land area of the U.S., and also the world, than it really does. Like I said, PSU's joke would work better if we had a picture of that map.

'S'all I'm sayin'.

[YD]

Your brain is so waterlogged you dont realize that it doesn't have to rain 300 days a year to have enough water.

Our water comes from the fukken snow melting off the mountains and into the MORE than sufficient water table. not to mention some of the highest quality well water in the country

[Mikey]

Actually, California doesn't look any bigger than it should. Some of the other places are a little mixed up though.



Legend

1. California. Unsurprisingly, California remains intact.
2. This is the state of Reno, which is easy to spot because it’s just outside the “Tahoe Region”.
3. The state of Vegas.
4. All Californians know that their neighbor to the north is Oregon. They know this because Oregon is where Chai was invented.
5. This is the state of Seattle unless you’re really wealthy, in which case it’s the state of Puget Sound. This is where Starbucks comes from. You’ll note that both Oregon and Seattle span the space between the west coastline and the I-5 corridor.
6. This is Death Valley. It’s hot here. Except in the winter, when it’s cold.
7. This is the state of Aspen. From the state of Aspen, you can ski straight into state #9
8. This state has two names for Californians. If you’re from Northern California, it’s known as “That Bastard of a President’s Ranch”. If you’re from Southern California, it’s called “The Alamo”.
9. The Midwest. It’s a huge state, as you can see, and for Californians, Midwest inhabitants on both sides of the Mississippi live on a strict diet of iceberg lettuce and Budweiser, which is why they have such big hair.
10. The blue vertical line is the Mississippi River. Californians don’t actually know where it is, they just know it’s in the middle of the country and that it runs “up and down”.
11. 11 points to the state of Chicago, which is a convenient home to the city of Chicago. [I can’t begin to tell you how many Californians think Chicago is a state].
12. This is Florida. It’s home to Disney World (which is just like Disneyland) and a lot of Cubans, like that Ricky Martin.
13. This is Back East, colloquially known as New England. It contains most of the 50 states because the Pilgrims thought small. That’s why they’re so rude Back East, you know. They don’t have room enough to spread out their yoga mats and become one with the universe.
14. New York, where the official state animal is the bagel.

[Dinsdale]

ok einstein, where are we shipping water in from?

It was a broad-basde statement, more applicable to some areas than others.

But, let's face it -- you're water is full of whatever kind of environmental toxins WE care to put in it before it gets there...this is FACT.

Also FACT, is that you have access to the water you do because of man-made impoundments. And which side of the mountains do you suppose the peolple who built and commissioned those impoundments were from? And where do you think the people are from who have their finder on the switch that could make all that precious water go away tomorrow?

But really, this is silly and petty, this discussion of BODE between the Wetside and the Dryside -- there IS no discussion, unless you're the typical retarded easterner. If there's still any shadow of doubt in your mind, answer one quick question for me --

Which one of us pays for the other's public transportation, and park-and-ride garages, and all of that stuff, so one of us can sit back and slam beers on the bus/train on our way to all the great things that somebody's tax dollars build, even though that somebody will likely never see any benefit from those expenditures?


It's good to be The King.

Now, stop this tomfoolery Timmay, and get back to work so you can support my Wetside Liberal ass...chop-chop.


P.S.: We'd appreciate it if you could generate a little more revenue "over there," since we've got some freeway projects that really need doing....doesn't really alleviate the traffic any, but it creates jobs for the Godless Portlanders...good paying jobs, at that. While we may make fun of you (constanly), we really do appreciate your help with our public works projects...but please, just send the checks, and keep your cousinfucking asses Over There, where the wearers-of-the-drool-cup belong.

OK, that may have been a little harsh. As consolation, I'll let you in on a little secret -- we're considering giving you guys Estacada. We'll of course be billing you for the costs associated with the move. But those folks should fit right in, although you might have to find some real trees for them to cut down, otherwise there might be a risk of them rioting in the streets.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Actually, California doesn't look any bigger than it should. Some of the other places are a little mixed up though.



Legend

1. California. Unsurprisingly, California remains intact.
2. This is the state of Reno, which is easy to spot because it’s just outside the “Tahoe Region”.
3. The state of Vegas.
4. All Californians know that their neighbor to the north is Oregon. They know this because Oregon is where Chai was invented.
5. This is the state of Seattle unless you’re really wealthy, in which case it’s the state of Puget Sound. This is where Starbucks comes from. You’ll note that both Oregon and Seattle span the space between the west coastline and the I-5 corridor.
6. This is Death Valley. It’s hot here. Except in the winter, when it’s cold.
7. This is the state of Aspen. From the state of Aspen, you can ski straight into state #9
8. This state has two names for Californians. If you’re from Northern California, it’s known as “That Bastard of a President’s Ranch”. If you’re from Southern California, it’s called “The Alamo”.
9. The Midwest. It’s a huge state, as you can see, and for Californians, Midwest inhabitants on both sides of the Mississippi live on a strict diet of iceberg lettuce and Budweiser, which is why they have such big hair.
10. The blue vertical line is the Mississippi River. Californians don’t actually know where it is, they just know it’s in the middle of the country and that it runs “up and down”.
11. 11 points to the state of Chicago, which is a convenient home to the city of Chicago. [I can’t begin to tell you how many Californians think Chicago is a state].
12. This is Florida. It’s home to Disney World (which is just like Disneyland) and a lot of Cubans, like that Ricky Martin.
13. This is Back East, colloquially known as New England. It contains most of the 50 states because the Pilgrims thought small. That’s why they’re so rude Back East, you know. They don’t have room enough to spread out their yoga mats and become one with the universe.
14. New York, where the official state animal is the bagel.

Funny, but not the one I remember.

[Dinsdale]

not to mention some of the highest quality well water in the country

Dude, I was half-joking when I ran all of the "Drysiders are stupid" smack.

The idea was that you'd somehow refute it, rather than reinforce it.

Because I know you DID NOT just try and run "water-quality" smack on the place that's often considered to have the highest quality tap water in the world(which the Bull Run folks will back up with statistics when questioned).

I KNOW you didn't just go there...


See, in the "civilized" parts of the country, we have these things called "municipal water supplies," and we actually pay trained professionals to monitor the quality and ensure the flow, rather than digging a fucking hole in our backyard(although you can drink untreated well water around here, dumbass), and hoping the Radon Fairy doesn't decide to take our children away.


You yokels are funny, though...I'll give you that.

[YD]

not to mention some of the highest quality well water in the country

Dude, I was half-joking when I ran all of the "Drysiders are stupid" smack.

The idea was that you'd somehow refute it, rather than reinforce it.

Because I know you DID NOT just try and run "water-quality" smack on the place that's often considered to have the highest quality tap water in the world(which the Bull Run folks will back up with statistics when questioned).

I KNOW you didn't just go there...


See, in the "civilized" parts of the country, we have these things called "municipal water supplies," and we actually pay trained professionals to monitor the quality and ensure the flow, rather than digging a fucking hole in our backyard(although you can drink untreated well water around here, dumbass), and hoping the Radon Fairy doesn't decide to take our children away.


You yokels are funny, though...I'll give you that.

yer water tastes like its got a beta shitting in it.

You've never drank anything over here but booze anyway. how would you know?

Which one of us pays for the other's public transportation, and park-and-ride garages, and all of that stuff,

I don't know if this makes you or us look dumber, but we don't have any o that thar stuff in my town

[YD]

You yokels are funny, though...I'll give you that.

skanks

that's kinda the schtick I'm going for

[Dinsdale]

You've never drank anything over here but booze anyway. how would you know?

Silence, Inferior One.

How would I know...hmmm....


I dunno...maybe from working on muni water supplies in various parts of the U&L?


And your PPM chlorine is higher than here, by neccessity. WAY more chemicals in your muni water....dumbass.

But really -- that mercury-laced water looks good on you. Keep eating them fish, NoRainman.

I don't know if this makes you or us look dumber, but we don't have any o that thar stuff in my town

Uhm, yeah...that was kinda the point -- you don't have much of that stuff...but WE do. And you paid just as much for it as I did...because the Civilized Folks decided that it was to be...and it was.

Getting it yet...Portland's Bitch?

[Dinsdale]

skanks

I'll take "the entire female population of Madras" for $1000, Alex.

[atomicdad]

Umm, thanks for the info, 'bout what I expected. No i'm not planning on venturing there, just know someone who is.

Hell Dins, I live in one of the last leftwing, tree hugging, bastions of beach hippies in San Diego County why would I move to Oregon?

[Diego in Seattle]

Umm, thanks for the info, 'bout what I expected. No i'm not planning on venturing there, just know someone who is.

Hell Dins, I live in one of the last leftwing, tree hugging, bastions of beach hippies in San Diego County why would I move to Oregon?

Unless you're in Qualudia on some street where everyone has lived there thirty years or more, I would hardly call North San Diego County "leftwing."

[Dinsdale]

Hell Dins, I live in one of the last leftwing, tree hugging, bastions of beach hippies in San Diego County why would I move to Oregon?

Bless you, my friend.


Now, if we could just get all of the other SoCals to think like you, things would be MUCH better around here.


ALTHOUGH, up here, we get to carry concealed, unregistered guns and switchblade knives while we hug trees and act all "liberal" and shit...we're conservative liberals.