T1B

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:24 pm**

...got this off a cigar site a few of us in here frequent...rolling on the floor stuff..

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/ca ... eat_it.php

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:46 pm**

The Urkel-O's first four paragraphs made me laugh out loud the most. So far. I'm still reading...

EDIT:

"I must admit that my aversion to drinking breast milk is something of a double-standard. Let me try to put this as delicately as I can out of respect to my female readers... but some women have been known to willingly "ingest" a certain dubious "body fluid" made by men, during moments of "intimacy." (These moments are known as "blow jobs." These women are known as "awesome.")"

LMAO!

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:51 pm**

LMFAO at the infected corn.

I think you could shit in a can and some people would buy it.

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 10:02 pm**

From the Prison wine one:

Yet somehow these ingredients went from sweet and child-like to harsh and alcoholic quicker than Lindsay Lohan.

:) :) :)

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 10:03 pm**

"But what caught me off guard was the crunchy cocoon. Silk my ass. This was like chewing on tiny bones. The good news is I was immediately distracted by the unexpected squirt of briny liquid that shot out into my mouth. A little heads up would have been nice. (Am I right, ladies?)"

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 10:26 pm**

patsy stone wrote:"But what caught me off guard was the crunchy cocoon. Silk my ass. This was like chewing on tiny bones. The good news is I was immediately distracted by the unexpected squirt of briny liquid that shot out into my mouth. A little heads up would have been nice. (Am I right, ladies?)"

^^^^^exactly, I was literall doubled over in my chair.

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 10:34 pm**

Steve should find himself a publisher ... hilarious shit, that!

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 11:01 pm**

June 05, 2006
Age/Hearing Check
This story made the rounds a few weeks ago. It's about a specific, annoying soundwave that most adult can't hear, and most teenagers can. Shopkeepers in London had been using the sound to keep teens out of their stores, then teens started using the sound as a ringtone to use in class that teachers couldn't hear. According to this other story the cut-off for hearing it is age 25.

Some people feel the ringtone aspect is impossible or a hoax due to cellphone speaker limitations. It's all interesting, but I'm more curious about the mp3s of this sound these articles link to and what you guys hear when you listen to them. (I strongly suggest you lower your volume first and ease into them.)

Let's call this one from the BBC story: #1.
(All it sounds like is ambient street noise to me. Not annoying at all.)

and this one from the NPR story: #2.
(On laptop speakers, I hear some kind of faint whistle when I really crank it up, but nothing so annoying that it would keep me out of a store. On decent speakers it's unbearable.)

Give them a listen, then post your experience with each one along with your age.

The comment board is NOW CLOSED.

Somebody owes Tanith Lee reverse royalties.

Posted: **Sat Jun 24, 2006 11:29 pm**

For all those times I wondered what it would be like to gnaw on my grandmother's thigh, I was about to find out.

tears

thanks for the laugh

Posted: **Sun Jun 25, 2006 12:58 am**

Meat is a pretty large umbrella. Beef is meat. Pork is meat. Horses, monkeys, and allegedly Arby's roast beef are meat. Even Rosie O'Donnell's ball sack is meat.

funniest thing I have read in a very long time.

Posted: **Sun Jun 25, 2006 6:19 pm**

"I force-fed myself a big ol' spoonful, and found it to be slightly rancid and extremely bitter. Unfortunately, swallowing didn't help dissipate the flavor because the strings of bean jizz melted, coating my mouth and lips with a glistening sheen of sadness."

Posted: **Fri Jul 07, 2006 12:15 pm**

I've gotten through Urekl-o's and tears are already streaming down my cheeks. Think I'm going to take a break and save the rest for the afternoon

Okay- I finished it. I have to get some work done now... one of my favoruites (other than the Lindsey Lohan comment)

As stated in the book, yeast is definitely contraband, but for the sake of this culinary experiment we'll just assume I gave the prison baker a hand-job.

But then the guy wouldn't give me the yeast! SO I STABBED HIM WITH A PEN IN THE EYE AND TOOK IT! And I was all, "DON'T FUCK WITH STEVE!"

Posted: **Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:28 pm**

"Lifting the lid revealed a weird sour smell, something akin to mild vinegar and stale meat. I almost want to say it was like a freshly douched pork chop. But I won't. Why? Because I'm a fucking gentleman."

Posted: **Fri Jul 07, 2006 2:28 pm**

Excellent find.

I must admit that my aversion to drinking breast milk is something of a double-standard. Let me try to put this as delicately as I can out of respect to my female readers... but some women have been known to willingly "ingest" a certain dubious "body fluid" made by men, during moments of "intimacy." (These moments are known as "blow jobs." These women are known as "awesome.")

Anyone else think this sounds like something Dins would write?

I've even heard it referred to as "Devil Poop"-- but that was only after I said it. (For God's sake, it comes with little bits of corn already in it! Talk about a time-saver.)

Fuck'in Rack this dude!

Posted: **Fri Jul 07, 2006 2:49 pm**

I'm officially leaving all future breast milk drinking in the capable hands of my baby boy -- the one guy who now gets to second base with my wife way more than I do. But, I don't mind. I love that little asshole.

T1B

"Steve dont't eat this"...ROFLMAO

"Steve dont't eat this"...ROFLMAO