T1B

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 6:54 pm**

Pack a fucking lunch because this flick is 2 hours and 40 minutes long. Decent movie, but they could have cut an hour out of this flick EASILY. B. Routh does a solid job as the dorky Clark Kent, and a decent job as the Man of Steel. Spacey was nails as Lex Luthor, Parker Posey blew as his bitch. And his henchman? WTF?

Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane was the absolute wrong choice. Should have went with a much hotter and more believable news skank here, a la Kate Beckinsale without the accent. Hell, even the chick with zero acting experience who tossed my salad 2 weeks ago would have been a better fit here.

The CG effects were pretty fucking sweet. I liked the use of CG showing Superman breaking the sound barrier as he takes off. Subtle but a very nice touch. Also some very sweet action sequences. The scene at the beginning with the space shuttle and the jumbo jet was nails.

In summary, good CGI, good action, decent acting from Routh and Spacey. An ok storyline with a decent twist that paves way for many more Superman movies to come. Bad casting as Lois Lane, Luthor's ho and henchmen, and the movie was an hour too fucking long.

Overall, I give it a 7.387 out of 10. If I would have gotten my salad tossed about 2 hours in, I would have given it an 8.5. Sayin.

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 8:07 pm**

how come this board gets the Cliff's notes
version ??

just askin'

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 8:14 pm**

Wolfman wrote:how come this board gets the Cliff's notes
version ??

just askin'

http://www.rottentomatoes.com

you're welcome

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 9:00 pm**

I hated Superman as a hero - stupid concept (good at freaking everything and invulnerable until someone puts a rock from his planet near him?) from a simple time. I hated the Christopher Reeve movies because they were so frigging schlocky. Many of the reviews that adore this flick go on about how it is just like the first two Reeve flicks. Great...thanks for the warning.

I have no intention of wasting $6.50 on this pap.

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:20 pm**

Wolfman wrote:how come this board gets the Cliff's notes
version ??

just askin'

What the fuck else do you want?

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:21 pm**

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:I have no intention of wasting $6.50 on this pap.

Try nine fitty.

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:38 pm**

jeeze Mike---
you get upset when George Reeves
offed himself or something ??
It's only an adaptation of a comic book !!
Maybe you're venting because of what is
happening to our church ??
A topic for personal discussion.

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:50 pm**

Wolfman wrote:jeeze Mike---
you get upset when George Reeves
offed himself or something ??
It's only an adaptation of a comic book !!
Maybe you're venting because of what is
happening to our church ??
A topic for personal discussion.

What church? You lost me.

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 10:55 pm**

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:I hated Superman as a hero - stupid concept (good at freaking everything and invulnerable until someone puts a rock from his planet near him?) from a simple time. I hated the Christopher Reeve movies because they were so frigging schlocky. Many of the reviews that adore this flick go on about how it is just like the first two Reeve flicks. Great...thanks for the warning.

I have no intention of wasting $6.50 on this pap.

2nd.

Fuck Superman.

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 11:46 pm**

Wolfman wrote:jeeze Mike---
you get upset when George Reeves
offed himself or something ??
It's only an adaptation of a comic book !!
Maybe you're venting because of what is
happening to our church ??
A topic for personal discussion.

Nah - I've been a Marvel comics kid since day 1. I liked my comic book heroes flawed, twisted, and in some way remotely plausible. Superman was too "goody goody," was too powerful in too many ways, and his weakness was idiotic. The only DC comic hero I sort of liked was Batman, but only in his "Dark Knight" phases - the Superfriends and TV show crap ruined it.

Spiderman, X-Men, Avengers...that was the stuff I wasted my allowance on.

Posted: **Sat Jul 01, 2006 11:47 pm**

Superheros weren't interesting when I was 12. Things haven't changed much 12 years later.

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 12:05 am**

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:
Spiderman, X-Men, Avengers...that was the stuff I wasted my allowance on.

Silver Surfer.......

unlike everything else I owned as a kid, I was smart enough to keep them all in good condition.......

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 12:14 am**

come on !!
it's Super--freaking--Man !!!
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman!

Yes, it's Superman -
(in a hushed voice) strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men.
(kicking it back up)
Superman - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, (back to hushed voice)
disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, (kicking up to 11) fights the never ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way.

dayum--it doesn't get any better than that !!

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 12:46 am**

cli·ché also cliche
n.

1. A trite or overused expression or idea.
2. A person or character whose behavior is predictable or superficial.

Synonyms: cliché, bromide, commonplace, platitude, truism, wolfman

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 1:18 am**

Go see a movie about Superman?

I AM Superman, biznitches.

I freaking live it, every day.

So, I guess I'll save the $9.50 .

Hell, I only opened this thread to see if Mr Backer made a reference to having his keister ate.

He did.

RACK!

I'm pretty sure that as long as I post on these boards, any resets of Mike Backer "having it done" will never not be funny.

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:06 am**

Dinsdale wrote:I'm pretty sure that as long as I post on these boards,

That makes me wonder. Just how long do we all predict we will post on these boards?

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:13 am**

Mississippi Neck wrote:Just how long do we all predict we will post on these boards?

Geez...I was just trying for the cheap laugh ...

You're getting all philosophical and shit.

But, to answer the question...

We'll be here until poptart runs every last one of us.

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:14 am**

Dinsdale wrote:
Mississippi Neck wrote:Just how long do we all predict we will post on these boards?

Geez...I was just trying for the cheap laugh ...

You're getting all philosophical and shit.

But, to answer the question...

We'll be here until poptart runs every last one of us.[/quote

And there it is..

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:33 am**

Just viewed it.

For the most part I agree with Mike Backer. They could have edited down the flick somewhat. Otherwise, Director Bryan Singer hits all the right spots and is true to the original. You need a scorecard to keep track of all the references to the 1978 'Superman." Comparing the movies I'd say he and Richard Donner committed the same error regarding editing; i.e. there was too much "filler" time that just didn't pan out. At least this time we didn't have to suffer with a bumbling Otis.

Brandon Routh is a worthy successor to Christopher Reeve. I had no problem with Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. She's a damn sight better than Margot Kidder.

Rating 7.5

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 4:11 am**

Wolfman wrote: Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman!

Nope. Wrong cartoon.

It's UNDERDOG!!!

As for the new Superman flick, my daughter told me that it was "freaking awesome", so I'll tend to give her opinion more weight than any of the losers who post here.

Then again, she's never seen any of the Reeves versions either, so she has nothing to compare it too.

But you're all still a bunch of losers. :)

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 4:35 pm**

KC Paul 3.0 wrote:
Raydah James wrote:
Mike the Lab Rat wrote:I hated Superman as a hero - stupid concept (good at freaking everything and invulnerable until someone puts a rock from his planet near him?) from a simple time. I hated the Christopher Reeve movies because they were so frigging schlocky. Many of the reviews that adore this flick go on about how it is just like the first two Reeve flicks. Great...thanks for the warning.

I have no intention of wasting $6.50 on this pap.
2nd.

Fuck Superman.
GODDAMN.

What a couple of CHEAP whiny FUCKS....

And just where the fuck have you been you fat slut?

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 6:13 pm**

KC Paul 3.0 wrote:
Raydah James wrote:

And just where the fuck have you been you fat slut?
I've been around you fucking Ric Ocasek-wannabe, slunt-trolling Papsmear.

Excellent. Carry on then, you jizzing dickhole.

T-Minus 37 days until our forum is fucking ROCKING in full swing again, and the Silver and Black kickoff against the Eggles in the hall of fame game.

RACK. That. Shit.

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 6:29 pm**

Good to see KC Paul and Raydah James getting into shape for the NFL season.

For those who don't know, their exchanges are premium fare smack-wise in the NFL forum...

[John Facenda voice & epic, dramatic music]These powerful standard bearers know no bounds in the yearly battle for fan supremacy...

Every thread, every post is that ultimate line in the sand. For these warriors, scorched earth is the only policy to follow...

And though they give their utmost to one of the most storied rivalries in NFL lore, they have their priorities straight. And they have honor. Because though they will never drop the fight with each other, they are united in agreement in one overriding calling, and will always be friends in this: hatred of the donks.

[John Facenda voice & epic, dramatic music/]

velocet

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 6:39 pm**

RACK Velo

Posted: **Sun Jul 02, 2006 11:50 pm**

Wolfman wrote:come on !!
it's Super--freaking--Man !!!
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman!

Yes, it's Superman -
(in a hushed voice) strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men.
(kicking it back up)
Superman - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, (back to hushed voice)
disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, (kicking up to 11) fights the never ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way.

dayum--it doesn't get any better than that !!

If you're old enough to remember that shit, you're probably also old enough to forget pretty much everything you've done today.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 12:10 am**

Dude panned the movie.
Get well soon anyway.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 1:22 am**

velocet wrote: ...their exchanges are premium fare smack-wise in the NFL forum...

What?

Your NFL forum credentials are hereby revoked.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 1:38 am**

Paulio

velo doesn't rate with me, not vice versa...that shouldn''t be too hard for you to figure.

Unwar encouraging the likes of you and Lames into further banality.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 4:16 am**

Bobby42 wrote:

Dude panned the movie.
Get well soon anyway.

He usually shits on Singers movies. Gave Usual Suspect a horrible review.. only Xmen one he liked was part 2.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 6:11 am**

The movie wasn't bad. Special effects were fantastic, particularly the sequence with the 777 about 30 minutes in. It's worth seeing on the big screen for that alone.

Rack velo.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:20 pm**

R-Jack wrote:
Mike the Lab Rat wrote:I have no intention of wasting $6.50 on this pap.
$6.50?

Shit I wouldn't say anything bad about a movie that I only had to pay six-fitty American dollars for.

You could throw Ishtar on the screen. If I only had to pay $6.50 for it, I'd call it Oscar worthy.

One of the very nice things about living in a rural, western NY college town is that the local "multiplex" (a "whopping" six screens, I think) only charges $6.50 for first-run major flicks.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:29 pm**

Mike Backer wrote:
Wolfman wrote:jeeze Mike---
you get upset when George Reeves
offed himself or something ??
It's only an adaptation of a comic book !!
Maybe you're venting because of what is
happening to our church ??
A topic for personal discussion.
What church? You lost me.

Episcopal Church.

It's having its national convention (or is it over now?) and chose as its Presiding Bishop (the "high mucky-muck") a woman who is pro-gay and is one of those who loudly endorsed the candidacy of active homosexual Gene Robinson as bishop (of New Hampshire, I believe...).

The Episcopal Church was asked by the Anglican folks to mellow out on the whole radical agenda for a bit and instead responded by "sending a message" in electing a woman with a pro-gay agenda. As a result, there's a whole bunch of pissed-off Anglicans all over the world. If the Episcopalians could have found a disabled, black Jewish lesbian for the job, trust me, they would have elected her.

It doesn't actually mean much, since the Presiding Bishop is just a figurehead, sets no policies and doesn't have anything to do with running diocese (the local bishops actually have more day-to-day power). That's one of the reasons I don't give a rat's ass about the newly-elected chick in the funny hat.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:13 pm**

I haven't seen it yet, but I find it hard to believe that even an actor as good as Spacey will play a better Lex Luthor than Gene Hackman.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:38 pm**

Spacey's Luthor is a much more evil Luthor than Hackman's is.

Posted: **Mon Jul 03, 2006 9:10 pm**

Superman is just another illegal alien laying sideways in the public trough and lapping it up like there's no tomorrow.

That shank who played Lois Lane needs more make-up.

The movie blew chunks.

-Margot Kidder's Tooth

-Out.

Posted: **Tue Jul 04, 2006 2:52 pm**

The new Superman is about as manly as Boy George and as metrosexual as Carson Daly. I can't wait for the movie Superboy, starring none other than a caped Natalie Portman.

Posted: **Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:16 pm**

Superman Returns
If you have never watched a Superman movie, a few things in Bryan Singer's Superman Returns may be a bit baffling. That's because this movie is meant to be a direct sequel to Superman (Richard Donner, 1978) and Superman II (Richard Lester, 1980) the first two movies that starred Christopher Reeve as the Man of Steel.

Twenty-six years is a long time between installments. So let me catch you up on what you have to know.

In Superman, a superbaby from the planet Krypton was delivered by meteor to the farm of Jonathan and Martha Kent, who adopted him and named him Clark. After an adolescence in which he discovered he could outrun schoolbuses, he donned a pair of glasses and went to work as an oafish reporter at The Daily Planet, where he fell in love with Lois Lane (Margot Kidder), who recited really bad poetry while flying with Superman; and, from time to time, stripped off his civvies and saved people. Finally, to fend off a ludicrous plot by Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman), Superman circled the Earth in reverse so fast that he was able to arrive before he left and prevent a bunch of really bad disasters.

In Superman II, Lois finds out that Clark and Superman are one and the same, whereupon he goes to the Fortress of Solitude, a superigloo in the arctic, and goes through a transition that makes him an ordinary mortal. This is a really bad time to do this, since three miscreants from Krypton arrive and start taking over the Earth, ruling much the way the Democrats claim that Bush is already governing. So even though Superman and Lois make super love together (without killing her), they have to part so Superman can reverse the process and go back and fight the evil Zod (Terence Stamp) and his cohorts. Superman wins, but it leaves him with super powers, which means that things just aren't going to work out with Lois, which makes her so sad that he gives her a super kiss and sucks the memory of their love affair right out of her head.

OK, between II and Returns, there were a couple of astonishingly inept movies that are so embarrassing that they have been given the Bobby-Ewing's-shower treatment -- they didn't happen after all. Instead, Superman went off for five years to visit the wreckage of his home planet, Krypton. While he was gone, Lois got herself in a "committed relationship" with Richard White (James Marsden) and had a baby boy, Jason (Tristan Leabu) who is now almost five years old.

I tell you these things because officially, Lois does not know that she ever had sex with Superman -- the memory was erased. The movie, however, assumes we will guess that the kid is really Superman's, and therefore we expect him to have superpowers at some point. When she sees this, Lois will realize whose child he is, even though she has no memory of sleeping with the dude.

She does not conclude that it was date rape. In fact, she is not curious about how this child was conceived at all.

Because, in Bryan Singer's hands, the Superman story has now become the Christ story, by way of the Nicene creed. We watch as he hears the "prayers" of all the people of the whole Earth; we hear him discussed as a savior; and we have a twisted version of the Father in the Son and the Son in the Father idea. So immaculate conceptions are not out of order here.

The ending of the movie is powerful indeed, but it is not the same movie we saw at the beginning. At first, the movie is dancing as fast as it can to link itself to the familiar Richard Donner Superman. We get a perfunctory recap of Superman's birth father (Marlon Brando via archive footage) and his adopted family.

Then we have Clark Kent returning to the Daily Planet, where the poor actor playing him, Brandon Routh, has to imitate Christopher Reeves's version of Superman trying to act like a geek.

The trouble is that Richard Donner's Superman was practically a cartoon. Reeve actually had to fight against the rest of the cast to make Superman believable at all; with Clark Kent, Reeve surrendered and made him a buffoon.

Routh is thus forced to imitate the most clownish part of Reeves's performance, but without the wit and charm Reeves brought to the role, and without a script that cares about the Clark Kent part of the movie at all.

Proof of this is that during the last sequence of the movie, in which Superman is incommunicado for some time, not one person notices that Clark Kent also seems to be missing.

I know, that's the conceit of the entire Superman story; but this movie expects us to forget Clark Kent's existence. He is simply dropped.

This is the opposite approach to that taken by the brilliant TV series Smallville, in which we think of the character of Clark Kent as the "real" guy, and the Superman identity as something forced on him by fate. This movie ignores our five years of Smallville -- which is certainly their privilege.

But it strands Routh in a weird kind of no-man's-land. Is he the jokey, smirky Superman who plays at being Clark Kent? Or the tortured soul who just visited the wreckage of his parents' planet and is broken-hearted that his true love has turned to someone else and had a kid?

That second one is the movie director Bryan Singer ordered written, and that's the movie he directs, with the same earnestness he brought to the first two X-Men films. That's why Lex Luthor, played by Oscar-winner Kevin Spacey, is actually scary and his plot is almost credible, in the movie's own terms at least. This is in marked contrast to the first movies' Lex Luthor (Oscar-winner Gene Hackman), who swaggered through a cartoon portrayal that the movie thought was hilarious but wasn't.

The Superman franchise only works when the villains are at least moderately plausible -- Terence Stamp made Zod scary in II and Kevin Spacey makes Luthor scary in Returns (even in the final cartoony moment on the beach at the end).

Here's the other part that works: Lois (Kate Bosworth) and her "family." Tristan Leabu as the kid is wonderful, and James Marsden as the ur-husband is so good that he almost steals the movie. He and Bosworth actually have the chemistry that Routh-and-Bosworth so completely lack. You want Lois to stay with Richard. Superman is too otherworldly, distant, unreal ... we want the kid to have a real father.

Ultimately, this movie is a mess with a decent ending. Bryan Singer couldn't get rid of the baggage from the comics and the previous films; the script had dialogue so empty and predictable we were saying the "clever" lines just before the actors; Routh couldn't get out of the shadow of Christopher Reeve and make the part his own; too many "bits" went nowhere; too many story threads were dropped cold.

The first hour was, in a word, dull. $260 million was spent on this movie, and for an hour, nothing happens that we can remotely care about.

But if you stick it out -- and at these prices, most of you will -- you'll get some good stuff in the last hour and a half. Not logic, mind you -- if Kryptonite embedded in a massive object weakens Superman when he stands on it, it's hard to figure out why it doesn't weaken him when he's lifting it. (I know, he had some rock between him and the kryptonite, but was it lead? I don't think so.)

Still, we're given a solid dose of the noble romantic tragedy, the good guy who has to sacrifice everything for the good of others. We're still suckers for that one, as well we should be, since that's what parenthood and schoolteaching are all about, but without the publicity and the abs of steel.

Some people in the theater applauded at the end. I don't know why. But I did enjoy the film. I'm glad I saw it. Once.

What I'm looking forward to is the sequel starring Tristan Leabu. Now he has some sizzle on the screen, young as he is. I hope as he gets older he also turns out to be talented. Some child stars (Mark Lester, McCauley Culkin) have grown up to be sad disappointments on that score; but I really believe this kid might be more than a pair of soulful eyes.

Posted: **Thu Jul 06, 2006 3:04 am**

I saw it and liked it. I thought Routh played a great Superman. Spacey was nails.

8 out of 10

T1B

Superman Returns movie review

Superman Returns movie review

Super-Freaking-Man