T1B

i just got a letter from the state telling me if i don't interrupt a perfectly good afternooner of surfing the internets and attend a seminar on "internet basics", they'll withhold my unemployment check.

stupid, stupid fuckers.

How about you get a job and you can surf the internet all day like others in here?

BBMarley wrote:How about you get a job ?

He's got one -- the government cuts him a check to not find a job.

Great work, if you can get it...although methinks Coods should probably keep his yap shut about anything involving the "damned liberals" until such a time that he isn't relying on them for his basic needs.

i've condisered that.

it might even be a good deal financially. my unemployment checks are less than half what i was making before

on the other hand, i'm beginning to realize i'm probably unemployable

Cuda wrote:my unemployment checks are less than half what i was making before

Dude....what...are you fucking new or something?

Surely you must have a friend with a construction, landscaping, or some such company who is willing to pay you $10hr under-the-table as some menial laborer until the checks run out?


Throw $200-$400 on top of that check, and all of a sudden, it makes for a nice summer of fishing and golfing and whatsuch.

It's the American Way. Let the wetbacks/GOP mafia support YOU for a change...you've earned it.

Dinsdale wrote:you must have a friend with a construction, landscaping, or some such company who is willing to pay you

Pay attention some? He got FIRED from that job.

the state of fucking michigan owes me two unemployment checks right now, fucking bastards. of course, they are "investigating" why i left my job at the deli last august (to move back to school). not that difficult, retards.

Dinsdale wrote:Surely you must have a friend

other than biggie, no.

including biggie... same thing

Screw_Michigan wrote:the state of fucking michigan owes me two unemployment checks right now, fucking bastards. of course, they are "investigating" why i left my job at the deli last august (to move back to school). not that difficult, retards.

Wait...some punk formerly stacking cold cuts is calling the state of MI "retards" because he thinks that they "owe" him un-employment benefits?

Fucking priceless.

Here's an idear, Screwed. You should forget about all that school nonsense and just go back to slopping too much fucking mayo and mustard on everyones's sammiches at the local Subway shop.

Who knows? In about 10 years, you just might make night shift assistant manager.

Cuda wrote: on the other hand, i'm beginning to realize i'm probably unemployable

Please elaborate on this statement.

This I gotta' know.

Jsc810 wrote:Fyi, do NOT provide false information in order to get unemployment benefits. Violators are subject to substantial civil and criminal penalties.

bwahaha- truth is stranger than fiction anyways

No answer to my question, eh Coods?

So, you're gonna' leave it up to me to ascertain just why it is that you're unemployable?

Alrighty then.

Let's start with that it's probably because you are even more worthless than Screwed standing in the un-employment line trying to suck the public teat over having made some shit-sammiches and go from there, shall we?

Cuda, we're not really hiring right now, but we'll keep your resume on file. I think there might be an internship position available later this fall.

War Wagon wrote:No answer to my question, eh Coods?

So, you're gonna' leave it up to me to ascertain just why it is that you're unemployable?

Alrighty then.

Let's start with that it's probably because you are even more worthless than Screwed standing in the un-employment line trying to suck the public teat over having made some shit-sammiches and go from there, shall we?

actually, i'm OVER-qualified to drive a forklift, and under-qualified to drive the space shuttlem.

War Wagon wrote:

Cuda wrote: on the other hand, i'm beginning to realize i'm probably unemployable

Please elaborate on this statement.

This I gotta' know.

Most employers require, at a minimum, that you show up for work sober. Most of the time, anyway.

mvscal wrote:

Cuda wrote:actually, i'm OVER-qualified to drive a forklift,

Who isn't? What are the qualifications? Thumbs and feet?

--certificate of birth abroad or citizen ID card
--documents to establish identity.
--ability to tolerate 100 degree temps
--ability to tolerate $7/hr.

get these to me w/in 3 days or don't show up on the 4th day

mvscal wrote:ID Card? We don't need no steenking ID card. Chupa la verga, pinche gringo cabron.

That dude works here. He's wearing that hat on his i-688 card.

mvscal wrote:

Cuda wrote:actually, i'm OVER-qualified to drive a forklift,

Who isn't? What are the qualifications? Thumbs and feet?

I'm not sure of the EXACT requirements, but they'd have to be minimal.

Ask WarWagon if he's still under strict orders to stay the hell off the one where he works

Cuda wrote:i just got a letter from the state telling me if i don't interrupt a perfectly good afternooner of surfing the internets and attend a seminar on "internet basics", they'll withhold my unemployment check.

stupid, stupid fuckers.

Oh, I dunno. Lesson 1 might be "Things To Do With The CTRL Key Without Using 'C' Or 'V'".

so anyway, the state obviously needs a new i-t guy because the information was wrong as usualm- had nothing to do with surfing the internets, imo.

first off, the aged skank at the infodesk said "wait over there with all the other losers-errr- job seekers. someone will be here shortly to escort youse to the green mountain room".

all the other losers-errr- job-seekers, looked like they were waiting to be escorted to the green room for an episode of cops. near as i could tell, i was the only one wearing both shoes AND socks. something prompted me to search my memory... did i have any outstanding traffic tickets? no. but it would have been a perfectm time for teh cops to get everybody in the greenm mountian room and say "bwahahahaha, you're all busted!" luckily they didn't.

so anyway, this wino looking guy shuts off the lights & goes up front to start a slide show abouout some federal program that gives extra money to local county governments to sign people up for job training. "you don't have to sign up but if you do, the county gets more money if you do- not that you'll get any of it" was the general idea all you have to do is sign up, and bring in some proof from your old job that it wasn't your fault you got fired even though you'll be arrested if you go back to the old job even to ask for such a letter, and a job search log detailing that you applied for 5 jobs a week for the last several months (or maybe it was 5 jobs a day- i stopped listening very closely when he said you don't have to sign up) and meet with a job counselor every 3 weeks (or maybe 3 days- remember, i stopped paying attention early on) and submit to aptitude testing, a digital rectal exam, and a criminal background check (a-ha! i knew the cops were waiting right outside to haul everybody off to jail!). in return, they pay a minimal amount to train you for something you'll never be capable of and then pester you to go get a job doing it while they keep 99.99% of all that federal grant money.

when the presentation was over, anybody who had to leave could go and anybody who wanted to sign up could stay & sign up.

everybody left before the cops showed up.

Dear Dotty, I love you but between this and the poodle revelation, I think I know wayyyyy too much about you.

This is a spray type of post: Tell the whole board how cool going to a workshop with other derelicts and single mothers who can't get a job for "reasons beyond their control."

Please, find a fucking job and drown your dogs.

Thanks.

where did i say it was cool?

i realize people of the darker persuasion are accustomed to hanging out at unemployment offices and getting hauled off to jail by lurking cops, but i am white and i found the whole experience more than a little creepy

Cuda wrote:where did i say it was cool?

i realize people of the darker persuasion are accustomed to hanging out at unemployment offices and getting hauled off to jail by lurking cops, but i am white trash and i found the whole experience more than a little creepy

Fixed that for you bruh.

Welcome. You're almost a n. igger. Make sure they spell your name with a "drevion" on the end of it on your ghetto pass.

the ghetto pass was worth the withheld rack for the cops reset, btw

Cuda Kinte?

a little... nervous... maybe

rack mvscal, btw

Good a thread as any to drop this link...


http://www.americanangst.com/dingfries.html

swimmingly