Page 1 of 1

U.S. has plans to get JTR laid

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:23 pm
by Luther
[align=center]]Image[/align]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060908/ap_ ... anda_death

[align=center]U.S. SAID TO TRY MATING VIDEO FOR JTR[/align]
BEIJING - A new panda mother who gave birth to twins this week accidentally crushed one of her newborns in her sleep, state media said Friday.

Ya Ya, who lives in the south China's Chongqing Zoo, delivered the twin cubs about an hour apart on Tuesday. One was taken to the Wolong Giant Panda Protection and Research Center, also in Sichuan province, while the other cub stayed with Ya Ya.

After falling asleep late Thursday for the first time since her labor, Ya Ya apparently crushed her newborn while it was nursing, the official Xinhua News Agency said on its Web site.

A zoo handler noticed the cub, which weighed only about three ounces, had fallen away motionless from her mother's nipple, it said. Zoo staff took the cub away while Ya Ya was still asleep and an autopsy showed that its heart, liver and other organs had been crushed.

The report said that Ya Ya searched around for her cub after waking up, then appeared depressed, laying listlessly in her zoo enclosure.

The report did not say if zoo staff would try to reunite the mother with her other cub.

Ya Ya was mated with 11-year-old Ling Ling from Wolong in April. The pandas watched a mating video before breeding.

Last month, the government announced the birth of four sets of panda twins. China has more than 180 pandas living in captivity, according to the government.

A 2002 government census found there were just 1,596 pandas left in the wild. But state media has said a new study by Chinese and British scientists has found there might be as many as 3,000.

The U.S. government said today that they will attempt to get JTR laid before the year is out. Sources close to the Van Knows Sex Institute indicate that a female was located in Salt Lake City, Utah, who agreed to at least try and mate with the silent film star.
Wow. I hope it works for the big guy.

Rip City

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 3:44 pm
by Derron
Hmmm.. Likely not.. my daddy always said you could lead a horse to water, but you couldn't make him drink.

Stupid as JTR is, you could put that throbbing, wet pussy within easy reach and he still would have the same dumb look on his face, and not do a damn thing with it.

Re: U.S. has plans to get JTR laid

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 4:02 pm
by Cuda
Luther wrote:[The U.S. government said today that they will attempt to get JTR laid before the year is out. Sources close to the Van Knows Sex Institute indicate that a female was located in Salt Lake City, Utah, who agreed to at least try and mate with the silent film star.

And afterwards, they plan to bust him...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0907061bukk1.html
Feds Give "Toilet Man 6" Two Hands Up
Bush administration obscenity crackdown nets fetish film kingpin
SEPTEMBER 7--In what appears to be a Department of Justice first, federal officials today included the word "bukkake" in a press release announcing the arrest of a Brazilian man for allegedly distributing obscene material. According to federal prosecutors, Danilo Simoes Croce, 42, operated web sites offering "obscene videos for download or delivery in the U.S.. The videos depicted bukkake, fisting, and depictions of defecation, urination, and vomiting in conjunction with sex acts." The Sao Paulo man was arrested yesterday in Florida, where he was charged with conspiracy to distribute obscene material, a felony carrying a maximum penalty of five years in prison and a $150,000 fine. In a revoltingly detailed criminal complaint, postal inspector Linda Walker provides a shot-by-shot description of some of the films purchased from Croce's sites by undercover investigators, who have been targeting the operation for more than three years. Some of titles carefully reviewed by Inspector Walker were "Toilet Man 6," "Bukkake 3," and "Scat Pleasures," according to the complaint, excerpts of which you'll find below. In the Croce document, Walker also includes a brief "background on fetish-type" films, in case readers (like, say, a square U.S. magistrate judge) were unfamiliar with terms such as "fisting." The Croce case is the latest major prosecution brought as a result of the Bush administration's initiative against hard-core pornography. In a communication last year to the FBI's 56 field offices, the anti-obscenity campaign was described as "one of the top priorities" of Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez and FBI Director Robert Mueller

So that's what bukkake is...

No wonder the term showed up here a lot

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 5:02 pm
by Nishlord
Has no-one thought of photoshopping 'Jess-Jess' yet?

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 8:35 pm
by The phantorino
vomiting in conjunction with sex acts
Yes, sadly - been there. When girls actually realise what they had done....well, let's not dwell on that