Rack this lady - strangles burglar in her home......

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 11:56 pm

Fucking A... she put the smack down on this dirt bag....

[web]http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/k ... a80c4.html[/web]

orcinus · Post by **orcinus** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 11:58 pm

I guess that other thread makes sense now.

RIP, Dins.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:17 am

5' 7", 260? are they sure she didn't eat him?

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:38 am

All she needs to do is hit paydirt with 2 of the next 9 intruders and she'll have statistical bode on teh cops

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:51 pm

Are they sure he didn't just snag his hair on a bedknob?

WAR NURSEY

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:55 pm

She should pick on somebody her own size.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Sep 09, 2006 10:12 pm

orcinus wrote:

I guess that other thread makes sense now.

RIP, Dins.

Rack.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:51 pm

Haffey, about 5-foot-9 and 180 pounds, had convictions including conspiracy to commit aggravated murder, robbery, drug charges and possession of burglary tools.

Neighbors said Kuhnhausen's size -- 5-foot-7 and 260 pounds -- may have given her an advantage.

MAY have given her an advantage???

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:06 pm

Nishlord wrote:Are they sure he didn't just snag his hair on a bedknob?

WAR NURSEY

Nish, I picked up "Hannibal" when it came out in hardback. Browsed through it, made the mistake of reading the dinner scene (and the ending more generally)...suffice it to say I've never since bought the book (in either cover) or seen the movie.

Can you say...

?
I knew you could.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:15 am

IndyFrisco wrote:
Haffey, about 5-foot-9 and 180 pounds, had convictions including conspiracy to commit aggravated murder, robbery, drug charges and possession of burglary tools.

Neighbors said Kuhnhausen's size -- 5-foot-7 and 260 pounds -- may have given her an advantage.
MAY have given her an advantage???

I am thinking that chest compression asphyxiation (sp??) may have had something to do with it ??

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 4:53 pm

And the plot thickens:

www.katu.com wrote:PORTLAND, Ore. - In a strange twist to a story we brought you last week, investigators believe a man who was choked to death by an emergency room nurse had actually been sent there by the woman's estranged husband to kill her.

Michael Kuhnhausen was arrested Wednesday and faces some serious charges.

The story began last week when 51-year-old Susan Kuhnhausen came home from work and was confronted by an intruder armed with a hammer.

Police say a violent struggle ensued and Kuhnhausen ended up strangling the man with her bare hands. She then ran to a neighbor's house for help.

When police arrived, they found the intruder dead in the house. He has since been identified as 59-year-old Edward Dalton Haffey, a convicted felon with a long record of convictions including:

Conspiracy to commit aggravated murder
Robbery
Drug charges
Possession of burglary tools
Investigators now believe that Michael Kuhnhausen, the woman's estranged husband, knew Haffey and the incident may have been part of a 'murder for hire' plot.

Among the information listed in court documents:

Susan Kuhnhausen was the one who suggested her husband might be behind the attack. She told detectives he was upset about their divorce.
Michael Kuhnhausen and Haffey knew each other through work at Fantasy Adult Video (Kuhnhausen was the supervisor for custodians at the adult store. He hired Haffey and was his boss).
Kuhnhausen told police he was in his estranged wife's house the day of the attack.
When confronted by investigators, Kuhnhausen admitted knowing the attacker, but said "if he told detectives the truth about what happened, they wouldn't believe him anyways, so he wasn't going to tell them."
Kuhnhausen's daughter told police that her father left a suicide note the day after the attack.
As for Susan Kuhnhausen, she was not seriously hurt in the attack. She ended up with minor injuries and was treated and released from the hospital.

So, in summary -- a jizzmopper showed up with a hammer to a bullfight, and got dead.

Is it wrong that I can't stop laughing?

I'm generally not too harsh a judge of people(except when logged in to the internet), but it is without reservation that I say that this guy was pretty much a failure in life. He gets a little sidejob to boost his pay above that of his regular duty of wiping up fagjizz, and manages to get kilt after being let into the victim's house ahead of time to lie in wait, and still manages to fuck it up, and get deadified by Rumpleforeskin's OL?

Classic. Of the 6 billion peoplem on this planet, Darwin took particular delight in offing this one.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:07 pm

mvscal wrote:OK, so maybe we have been a little free with the term loser around here. Somehow I don't think even the lowest degenerate will ever top a 59 year old jizzmopper being choked to death by an enraged slumpbuster.

It's rare that this board actually produces audible laughter on my end, but THAT just did it.

On a side note, how disturbing is that an adult video store has so many "custodians" that they require a specifically dedicated supervisor?

Fantasy is actually a large chain of jack shacks around these parts, so I assume he's the head honcho(denoted by the kneepads) for the chain, but I don't know, nor do I want to know any more about the custodial workings of goorinks.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:07 pm

I'd say that it must be a pretty successful adult bookstore. Four person cleaning crews, operating in three shifts, can clean up a lot of jizz in one day.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:11 pm

Am I to take from this that the U&L is a shithole?

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:12 pm

Nah, a jizzhole.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:15 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Am I to take from this that the U&L is a shithole?

Yes.

Don't move here, like the rest of the planet is doing.

There was a Supreme Court ruling, probably 15 years or so ago, that said adult businesses couldn't be regulated any different from any other business. They've flourished to unimaginable proportions since then(not that there weren't planty before). BY FAR more tittybars per capita (and I believe in total number, as well) than any other city. It's all good...gives the tweekers somewhere to go late at night, besides looking for scrap metal in my backyard.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:15 pm

mvscal wrote:
Mikey wrote:I'd say that it must be a pretty successful adult bookstore. Four person cleaning crews, operating in three shifts, can clean up a lot of jizz in one day.
It must make for an awkward resume bullet.

Not if you're good a creative resume writing.

"Facilities engineer for large local bookstore chain"

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:18 pm

Dinsdale wrote:I'm generally not too harsh a judge of people(except when logged in to the internet), but it is without reservation that I say that this guy was pretty much a failure in life.

Methinks this is a rush to judgment, Dins. We don't know what his post total was.

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:22 pm

RACK THIS FUCKING THREAD:
What does the job description say for the Supervisor position?

*Good With Perople
* Has a clearly defined sense of privacy issues
* Some weekend work required

Next...

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:34 pm

Perhaps his boss was threatening to install sluice floors on his premises.

The worst part of working in Soho was the rare occasion when you were on deadline, had to get in early, and had to walk past the clip joints when they were slopping out. You made sure that you were wearing your least slippy shoes at that time of day.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Sep 16, 2006 1:49 pm

The fact that one can get to the ripe old age of 59 as a professional jizzmopper and wannabe hitman tells me that Darwin is clearly asleep at the switch.

This chap has had better than 2 score to piss into the gene pool. Had Darwin been tending his gene pool lifeguard duties a little better fuckers like this would have had their pool passes revoked prior to puberty.

I am starting a petition to have chuck sacked.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 4:09 pm

Fantasy is actually a large chain of jack shacks around these parts, so I assume he's the head honcho(denoted by the kneepads) for the chain, but I don't know, nor do I want to know any more about the custodial workings of goorinks.

I would assume that Dins is pretty stoked about this, since the death of a primary witness in a criminal case will pretty much render's the DA's case against him moot.

However, the jizz mopper still has DK Wilds in Beaverton, which being across form the Candlelight Notel, usually makes for easy felony warrant arrests for cops looking for the absconders. They just park up the street, and wait for the scumbags to check in at the meth hotel, or to walk across the street to jerk one off in the booth, and then scoop them up. Probably at least 4 a week I guess...

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sun Sep 17, 2006 4:32 pm

Derron wrote: However, the jizz mopper still has DK Wilds in Beaverton, which being across form the Candlelight Notel

Used to be the Satellite Motel, but I think they changed names. I'd be willing to guess that more meth goes through that hotel than any other in the country...except maybe the Lamplighter in Cedar Hills, or possibly the Kings Row/Portland Rose up on Barbur...with Dins sandwiched right in the middle of all of them.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:03 pm

There appears to be an epidemic --

TUALATIN, Ore. (AP) - A Washington County sheriff's deputy shot and killed a man who broke into a woman's apartment Sunday morning, the second fatal shooting involving the sheriff's office in just over a month.

Authorities say the deputy fired after Taser shocks and bean-bag rounds failed to slow the intruder and the man tried to reach inside a patrol car for a weapon.

A Sheriff's Spokesman says the incident started when a woman awoke to find the intruder standing by her bed.

She screamed, grabbed her cell phone and ran into her young daughter's bedroom.

The man followed her into the room and began attacking her, but she reportedly fought back and was able to phone 911 and avoid serious injury.

The woman says her daughter, 8, joined in the battle by repeatedly punching the intruder in the face.

She says action by her daughter allowed her to get the upper hand in the attack and that at one point she had her hands around the man's neck and was strangling him.

She was also able to get a knife from her kitchen.

The suspect, identified as Jordan Laird Case, 19,eventually left the home where he was confronted by police, who used high-voltage stun weapons and less-lethal beanbag rounds to no effect.

When Case reached inside a police car to get a shotgun, the officer opened fire, hitting Case multiple times. Case died at the scene.

Case was identified by a citizen who saw the drawing of a tattoo that was released Monday.

No further details about Mr. Case are available at this time. His next of kin have been notified.

This guy sounded more like an "annoyance," rather than a "menace to society."

Moral of the story -- NEVER attempt to sexually assault a slumpbuster with judo training.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 5:15 pm

Oh, no outrage around these parts on the actions of the police on this one.

Don't give them "paid administrative leave," give them a raise.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 7:16 pm

They blasted one out here in my hood 2 weeks ago too.

Dude walked out of his apartment like Wyatt Fucking Earp with 2 pistolas in his hands and started to point them at the 3 cops. Bad move. Even was a white boy too.

I know one of the cops. A real stand up guy. Last thing he would have wanted to do.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:06 pm

What was their hit-ratio?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 1:45 am

Cuda wrote:What was their hit-ratio?

good enough, from the sounds of it.

looks like the jizz mopper job market just opened up a bit.

rack those cops and notice to the race pimps. dude was a white boy and I think I speak for about 99.999% of my fellow honkeys in saying, bravo.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Aug 30, 2007 4:25 pm

Follow-up --

http://www.katu.com/news/9470402.html

Pleads guilty. Probably had a chance to beat the rap, but was afraid of his ex, so he went to the slammer as a form of impromptu protective-custody.