[!]A masterclass in sports commentary[!]

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:34 pm

[stream]http://www.iolfree.ie/~eddiemoroney/wavs/gaamatch.wav[/stream]

http://www.iolfree.ie/~eddiemoroney/

This was the commentary of an under-21 Gaelic football match on Irish TV. I need to see the whole thing before I die.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:38 pm

I dont understand arabic

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:44 pm

I don't understand ignorance.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:48 pm

Kind of reminds me of these lyrics...

Aye an' a bit of Mackeral settler rack and ruin
ran it doon by the haim, 'ma place
well I slapped me and I slapped it doon in the side
and I cried, cried, cried.

The fear a fallen down taken never back the raize and then Craig Marion,
get out wi' ye Claymore out mi pocket a' ran doon, doon the middin stain
picking the fiery horde that was fallen around ma feet.
Never he cried, never shall it ye get me alive
ye rotten hound of the burnie crew. Well I snatched fer the blade O my
Claymore cut and thrust and I fell doon before him round his feet.

Aye! A roar he cried frae the bottom of his heart that I would nay fall
but as dead, dead as 'a can be by his feet; de ya ken?

...and the wind cried Mary.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 9:30 pm

Cuda wrote:I dont understand

NO fucking shit.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:52 pm

Seeing as most of you cunts pretend to be Irish once a year, I'm appalled.

TRANS:

"The score is 1-1 for Aherlow, no score for Nenagh[sup]1 [/sup], and it comes back...to...what the hell is his name, now?...he KICKS THE LOW BALL AND KILBY HAS IT, HAS HE? AND THE REFEREE IS LOOKING AROUND AND ACTING THE MICKEY[sup]2 [/sup]...and he's coming out as if there's NO-ONE NEAR HIM...(unintelligible) THAT'S A FUCKIN' PENALTY! BOLLIX![sup]3[/sup] BOLLIX OF A REF!...what is going on...at all? Oh my...I think I'm going to get sick after that beer yesterday[sup]4 [/sup]...HE'S GIVEN A PENALTY! THAT BOLLIX HAS GIVEN A...REF, WILL YOU WAKE UP!...a BRILLIANT SAVE BY THE YOUNG THEODORE BARLOW!...AND THE GAME IS OVER (very unintelligible)...WHAT A VICTORY! OH, MOTHER O' GOD, THERE'LL BE A BIG NIGHT IN THE GLEN!...I think I'm after getting sick...It's definately one of the greatest days in Atherlow in GAA[sup]5[/sup] circumstances..."

[sup]1 [/sup]Like Aussie Rules, Gaelic football has a dual scoring system. A goal is 3 points, while shooting over the rugby-style bar is 1 point. Therefore, Atherlow have 4 points.

[sup]2 [/sup]'Mickey' - Prick.

[sup]3[/sup] 'Bollix' - derogatory Irish term

[sup]4 [/sup]Apparently, Eddie got Moellered at his mother-in-law's wake the night before

[sup]5[/sup]Gaelic Athletic Association

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:25 pm

Next...

Republican party mid-term election promises translated into English

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:37 pm

On that note, can I just say how bland and vacuous NFL commentary seems to be these days. It seems to be a huge competition between the anchors over how often they can fit the word 'baby' into a sentence, like it was the early 1970s again, and endless shilling of other shit you don't give a fuck about. TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING GAME, YOU CUNTS!

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:50 pm

And don't get me started on celebs in the booth. The NFL spend months hyping up the sport, and then they act as if they have to lump in as much 'entertainment' as possible or people will start switching off. Weird.

the_ouskull · Post by **the_ouskull** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:22 am

He sounds like the bartender with Tourette's from Boondock Saints.

the_ouskull

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:45 am

Sounds like a great Aunt of mine...

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:14 am

Nishlord wrote:[sup]4 [/sup]Apparently, Eddie got Moellered at his mother-in-law's wake the night before...

Oh, trust me on this, Nish...as a fraternity alum, I know fucked-up when I hear it, and your man there got Moellered a lot closer to that game than the night before.

That said, I think most sports commentary would be greatly improved by mass quantities of alcohol. They need to start stocking bars in the studios and press boxes.

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:21 am

RTE wrote:Eddie's commentary has been heard all over the world simply because of its authenticity when it comes to biased unorthodox commentary.

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:33 am

Billy Madison would have a tough time with this dude's jibberish.

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:40 am

They come over here and they take all our land
They chop off our heads and they boil them in oil
Our children are leaving and we have no heads
We drink and we sing and we drink and we die
We have no heads
We have no heads

They come over here and they chop off our legs
They cut off our hands and put nails in our eyes
O'Grady is dead and O'Hanrahan's gone
We drink and we die and continue to drink
O'Hanrahan
No, O'Hanrahan

They buried O'Neil down in country Shillhame
The poor children crying and fe dee din de
Hin fle di dinfle
Di din fle de din de
In hey bibble bibble
Hey bibble bibble
Hey fle bibble de
O'Hanrahan
No, O'Hanrahan

We drink and we sing
And we drink and we sing
Hey!

We drink and we drive
And we puke and we drink
Hey!

We drink and we fight
And we bleed and we cry
Hey!

We puke and we smoke
And we drink and we die
Hey!

:twisted:

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:50 am

Rich Fader wrote:
RTE wrote:Eddie's commentary has been heard all over the world simply because of its authenticity when it comes to biased unorthodox commentary.

And that's the genius thing. It was broadcast, in full, on Irish TV.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 10:56 am

Nishlord wrote:On that note, can I just say how bland and vacuous NFL commentary seems to be these days. It seems to be a huge competition between the anchors over how often they can fit the word 'baby' into a sentence, like it was the early 1970s again, and endless shilling of other shit you don't give a fuck about. TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING GAME, YOU CUNTS!

Nish,
I found the featured story about BiG Ben's "Emergency" Appendectomy absolutely riveting. Michelle Tafoya and those nifty visual teaching tools so we can understand what a miracle it is some young player in "season ready" physical condition could "bounce back" so quickly from such complicated procedure.
Dude is lucky he didn't get a bad case of the flameing asshole aka. "Roids" and the magic Proctologist shaved a good week off his recovery time.

That shit was horrible. What fucking retard at ESPN thinks people give a damn about Ben's Surgical Extravaganza? Either he plays or he doesn't.
I would rather watch a "Station Break" rather than be given a lecture on BR's quick-fix on his malfuntioning Internal Organ by Doc Tafoya MD
What a bunch of assclowns.
All this "gotta have" info slammed between each snap of the ball.
Lucky us...........

Kornheiser's shit is getting to much to take, that scripted "The Jaguars are looking to be noticed and send a message to the League" drivel was pure vomit.
He sucks bad.

The HD Broadcast is awesome
but they definately need to shut the fuck up and let us enjoy the game, at least talk about Football

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:12 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Sounds like a great Aunt of mine...

What was so great about her? Did she master the use of toilet paper?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:18 pm

careful, blacktooth.

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 10:30 pm

It gets funnier after each listen.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:59 am

I've ordered it. God bless the internet, begorrah.

JD · Post by JD » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:21 am

I'm only posting to note that I enjoyed the use of the word "Moellered", a much underused adjective on these boards over the past few years.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 1:06 pm

Nishlord wrote:On that note, can I just say how bland, intelligible and vacuous NFL commentary seems to be these days. It seems to be a huge competition between the anchors over how often they can fit the word 'baby' into a sentence, like it was the early 1970s again, and endless shilling of other shit you don't give a fuck about. TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING GAME, YOU CUNTS!

ftfy.

Rack that drunken mic!!!! Put that dude on MNF and they could make it pay per view.

As for drinking in the booth you must not have seen any old school MNF with howard and dan.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:43 pm

ta, mate.

Apparently, the whole game - plus half an hour of post-game interviews - was available as a torrent a few months back. Arse!

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:45 am

Raoul Duke · Post by **Raoul Duke** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 9:34 pm

Nish, This guy wouldn't be related to Shane MacGowan in anyway, would he? Sounds like they went to the same elocution expert.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 2:30 am

How bizarre.

I got the full DVD of this in the mail today. Fucking hell, it's amazing. It's probably the dullest, most incompetent game of Gaelic Football ever, and he's calling it like it was Brazil 1970. It's even funnier when you can see that what he's going berserk about is a load of lumpy Irish kids failing to kick a ball straight.

And then I watched a documentary about Stiff Records with an interview with Shane McGowan, and he's deteriorated more than any human being has a right to be without being actually dead. Saw the Pogues 21 years ago, one of the best gigs I've ever seen.

T1B

[!]A masterclass in sports commentary[!]

[!]A masterclass in sports commentary[!]

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