Best places to Pig out
Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 6:46 pm
Several nights ago I watched this hour long show about the top 10 places to "Pig Out" at. I can't remember what network it was on, and I doubt it was Food Network TV...it was just one of those channels somewhere in the 200's if you have DirecTV.
I can tell you this though, if you had any detectable amounts of THC in your system then you'd probably have tried to eat your TV. Now I was totally straight, and I wanted to go to every one of these ten places except one. I just didn't have a desire to hit Ben and Jerry's place in N.Y. , or I think it was in the state of N.Y. Nothing against NY, but I just didn't think a 10 gallon plastic bucket full of ice cream, nuts, whipped cream, chocolate sauce and whatever really made me want to go there and eat it.
Of the places on the show that I remember were these:
Beth's Cafe in Seattle I've never been there, but if I'm in Seattle in the future then I'll probably hit the place so long as my cholesterol count is low enough enough for me to survive the upcoming onslaught. On the show they showed some guy, probably around 25 or so, 5-9 and maybe 200, trying to eat a 12 egg omelet. It was so big that the included hash browns were cooked inside the belly of the omelet. The place is fairly goofy as hair color of the employees ranged from magenta to lime to mustard yellow. The mandatory quadruple nose piercings and the dyed goatee porn stache were a staple in this place.
Some Italian grill/deli type of place in maybe Chicago, or Detroit. I remember they named it after a couple of brothers, something like Petrocelli Bros. etc. They took a huge handful of pastrami or similar and heaped it on a piece of bread, added sour kraut and another handful of french fries jammed around on top and then...mash it all down and poof. There were other stuff on it, and it was about 5 inches high.
Ah yes, now we've got the burger type of joint in Boston. You had your basic huge skillet with about an acres worth of 1/2 pound cheese burgers frying up next to each other in a sea of burger grease. The basic fried cheeseburger, hot, and laden down with about a months worse of grease from Rosie O'Donnell's kitchen. The owner named a burger after this guy who ate, and I shit you not...Six, one half pound cheeseburgers stacked on top of each other. 3 pounds of hot greasy animal flesh...They had about six guys come over from the Tufts University football team in an effort to try this huge burger. The owner said if anybody could eat the "Riley Burger" (I think it was named after a guy sounding like this) then he would add his name to the honor list of people who've done it. Well, the 6 patty burger shows up with about a 1/2 yard of french fries, all served on this huge platter. One big offensive lineman type of guy was the last one eating. He ate the whole thing...the owner comes over and says, "If you can eat one more 1/2 pound burger and fries and I'll name the thing in your honor." The guy gets about half way through the record breaking burger and calmly says to one of his teammates, "CAN." His friend quickly reaches over and places a large CAN in front of the challenger who proceeds to lose about two gallons worth of chewed up hamburger, potato, buns and cheese. Not a pretty sight.
They had some place in Tenn. I think. A comfort food place where the speciality is these huge dinner rolls. Some high school kid on the baseball team walks around and throws buns at customers who need to reload on their already huge assed meals. Nothing like a platter of pork chops, a mountain of mashed potatoes and a ladle (12 ounces) of gravy invside the potato pile which looked like to me to be "Mt. St. Helens." I watched one guy rip the bun in half (each bun was the size of a softball) and plunger the volcano and gravy. My B.P. spiked about 20 pts. just watching these people eat. I saw them deliver a similar sized platter to this fat gal, and on the platter was this rectangle shaped piece of meat loaf. The size reminded me of a loaf of bread.
Some pizza place that created a pie that was the size of a standard poker table. It was 4 feet across and it barely fit into one of those thin pizza ovens. The restaurant offered some type of deal...order the huge pizza with two toppings, select two people to eat on it, and complete the thing and you get it for free. I watched two sets of people try to eat the thing in the time allotted. NOBODY did it.
I missed most of the film footage, but they had some place that was offering up Oysters. They had some "big" names from those power eating contests on hand. They had several contests, but the only one I caught was who could eat the most Oysters in a minute. I'm talking big fookin' oysters too. None of those small shooter types. Some guy with grease and red sauce all over his face apparantly won it by downing 12 of those globs of raw flesh. I remember the first time I had oyster shooters from a bar. I think I ate about 5 of them...anyway the next day I took a dump I swore I thought I had some form of rectal cancer. I almost called CSI right there from the shitter.
Locally, I'm kind of out of the loop. The last place that I frequented for power eating was Krueger's out off I84 near Fairview. Semi drunken 4 egg omelets at 0300 rings a bell. I don't ever remember driving home from the place with the Levi's top button done. Never.
I have never been championed an eating contest winner, and I never have qualified for any restaurants hall of fame board. I ate 6 "Make your own taco's" at the local tavern, but the champion holds the record at 18.
Rip City
I can tell you this though, if you had any detectable amounts of THC in your system then you'd probably have tried to eat your TV. Now I was totally straight, and I wanted to go to every one of these ten places except one. I just didn't have a desire to hit Ben and Jerry's place in N.Y. , or I think it was in the state of N.Y. Nothing against NY, but I just didn't think a 10 gallon plastic bucket full of ice cream, nuts, whipped cream, chocolate sauce and whatever really made me want to go there and eat it.
Of the places on the show that I remember were these:
Beth's Cafe in Seattle I've never been there, but if I'm in Seattle in the future then I'll probably hit the place so long as my cholesterol count is low enough enough for me to survive the upcoming onslaught. On the show they showed some guy, probably around 25 or so, 5-9 and maybe 200, trying to eat a 12 egg omelet. It was so big that the included hash browns were cooked inside the belly of the omelet. The place is fairly goofy as hair color of the employees ranged from magenta to lime to mustard yellow. The mandatory quadruple nose piercings and the dyed goatee porn stache were a staple in this place.
Some Italian grill/deli type of place in maybe Chicago, or Detroit. I remember they named it after a couple of brothers, something like Petrocelli Bros. etc. They took a huge handful of pastrami or similar and heaped it on a piece of bread, added sour kraut and another handful of french fries jammed around on top and then...mash it all down and poof. There were other stuff on it, and it was about 5 inches high.
Ah yes, now we've got the burger type of joint in Boston. You had your basic huge skillet with about an acres worth of 1/2 pound cheese burgers frying up next to each other in a sea of burger grease. The basic fried cheeseburger, hot, and laden down with about a months worse of grease from Rosie O'Donnell's kitchen. The owner named a burger after this guy who ate, and I shit you not...Six, one half pound cheeseburgers stacked on top of each other. 3 pounds of hot greasy animal flesh...They had about six guys come over from the Tufts University football team in an effort to try this huge burger. The owner said if anybody could eat the "Riley Burger" (I think it was named after a guy sounding like this) then he would add his name to the honor list of people who've done it. Well, the 6 patty burger shows up with about a 1/2 yard of french fries, all served on this huge platter. One big offensive lineman type of guy was the last one eating. He ate the whole thing...the owner comes over and says, "If you can eat one more 1/2 pound burger and fries and I'll name the thing in your honor." The guy gets about half way through the record breaking burger and calmly says to one of his teammates, "CAN." His friend quickly reaches over and places a large CAN in front of the challenger who proceeds to lose about two gallons worth of chewed up hamburger, potato, buns and cheese. Not a pretty sight.
They had some place in Tenn. I think. A comfort food place where the speciality is these huge dinner rolls. Some high school kid on the baseball team walks around and throws buns at customers who need to reload on their already huge assed meals. Nothing like a platter of pork chops, a mountain of mashed potatoes and a ladle (12 ounces) of gravy invside the potato pile which looked like to me to be "Mt. St. Helens." I watched one guy rip the bun in half (each bun was the size of a softball) and plunger the volcano and gravy. My B.P. spiked about 20 pts. just watching these people eat. I saw them deliver a similar sized platter to this fat gal, and on the platter was this rectangle shaped piece of meat loaf. The size reminded me of a loaf of bread.
Some pizza place that created a pie that was the size of a standard poker table. It was 4 feet across and it barely fit into one of those thin pizza ovens. The restaurant offered some type of deal...order the huge pizza with two toppings, select two people to eat on it, and complete the thing and you get it for free. I watched two sets of people try to eat the thing in the time allotted. NOBODY did it.
I missed most of the film footage, but they had some place that was offering up Oysters. They had some "big" names from those power eating contests on hand. They had several contests, but the only one I caught was who could eat the most Oysters in a minute. I'm talking big fookin' oysters too. None of those small shooter types. Some guy with grease and red sauce all over his face apparantly won it by downing 12 of those globs of raw flesh. I remember the first time I had oyster shooters from a bar. I think I ate about 5 of them...anyway the next day I took a dump I swore I thought I had some form of rectal cancer. I almost called CSI right there from the shitter.
Locally, I'm kind of out of the loop. The last place that I frequented for power eating was Krueger's out off I84 near Fairview. Semi drunken 4 egg omelets at 0300 rings a bell. I don't ever remember driving home from the place with the Levi's top button done. Never.
I have never been championed an eating contest winner, and I never have qualified for any restaurants hall of fame board. I ate 6 "Make your own taco's" at the local tavern, but the champion holds the record at 18.
Rip City
<----Genos
<----Pats
<----- Tony Lukes