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Bush wasn't the only person to get a rocket up his arse.
Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:32 pm
by Nishlord
Backside firework prank backfires
A man suffered internal burns when he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Bonfire Night.
Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.
He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.
A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.
Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.
"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."
'Beyond belief'
Mr McDougal added: "Potentially it could have been a fatal incident.
"There's a lot of major blood vessels round that area, so infection would probably be a huge problem for him.
"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."
A spokesman for the Firework Association described the bizarre prank as "beyond belief".
He said: "We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public.
"This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."
Northumbria Police said they were aware of the incident, which happened in the Dame Dorothy Street area of Monkwearmouth, but are understood not to be carrying out further inquiries.
Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:33 pm
by Cuda
I thought this was going to be another "PrimeX Squirts Great Dane With Water Pistol" reset
Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:39 pm
by BSmack
He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.
"Stable"???
Yea, aside from not being able to shit for the next ten years, I'm sure he's all good.
Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:52 pm
by Nishlord
I think when they say he's 'stable' they mean 'You can fit an average-sized horse in his arsehole'
Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 9:28 pm
by Nishlord
The incident in Sunderland was captured by a gang of youths and the fuzzy mobile phone footage shows a blinding white flash followed by hysterical laughter and one youth shouting "ha ha ha ha that's f******* nice".
It is believed the 22-year-old had recently returned from a tour of Iraq.
The underfunding of British soldiers has gone beyond a joke.
Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 1:00 am
by Diego in Seattle
Rectum??? It nearly killed him!
(can't believe nobody dropped that yet)
Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 1:10 am
by Jimmy Medalions
BWHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 5:27 am
by Rich Fader
I mean, this thread is pure comedy gold. The whole thing.
Mr McDougal added: "Potentially it could have been a fatal incident.
"There's a lot of major blood vessels round that area, so infection would probably be a huge problem for him.
"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the rocket."
Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 5:29 am
by Rich Fader
Seriously, I was young and dumb when I was that age, but not that dumb. Not enough booze, drugs or fraternity peer pressure in the world to have made me do that. Stupid's one thing. That's insane.
Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 6:34 am
by Atomic Punk
"I blame Bush."
- Bacefelice (trolling zz)
Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:45 pm
by The phantorino
e wrote:note to self...point the rocket out your ass
..and light it thru your throat??
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 1:51 am
by Nishlord
Sorry to bore you, but can I say this again? He'd just come back from Iraq.
Fucking hell, when Robert De Niro came home from being stuck in a semi-aquatic pen in Vietnam after playing Russian Roulette, you never saw him shoving fireworks up his arsehole. A lot more of our youths would do better to mooch about town to sensitive John Williams acoustic guitar solos, instead of acting the cunt.
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 2:47 am
by Rich Fader
Come on, Nish. Don't blame the war for his being a twat. Any soldier dumb enough to try to light one in his own butt was probably a head case going in. Whoever let that guy in needs to be assigned to some other duty, preferably remote, shitty and dangerous.
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 2:57 am
by Mikey
Maybe he didn't do well in school and just got stuck in Iraq.
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 4:50 am
by Jack
We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public.
Wow!! Imagine this... Fireworks so safe.. you can light them off in your ass!!
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 5:04 am
by Rich Fader
Mikey wrote:Maybe he didn't do well in school and just got stuck in Iraq.
No, this isn't so much not doing well in school as eating lead paint off the walls.
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 7:13 pm
by LTS TRN 2
Perhaps it had worked so well on some detainee in Basra...really funny stuff...but of course, this clown pointed it the wrong way(!).
Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2006 8:46 pm
by Rich Fader
Speaking of eating lead paint off the walls...
:twisted:
