T1B

A man walks into an Adult novelty store and asks for a "Love Doll".

The man behind the counter says "We got American and Muslim, which one do you want?"

The man asks what's the difference?

The man behind the counter replies..

"The Muslim Doll blows itself up!"

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A redneck from West Virginia walsk into a pharmacy and asks for birth control for his 16 year old daughter.

The Pharmacist asks the man, "Is your daughter sexually active?"

The redneck says "No! She's just like her mother. She just lies there!"

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A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."

Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom, should I tell him?"

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A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you're first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”
Tim stood up and proudly said, “She's a doctor.”

“That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

'Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy's father said, “I'm actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

Rack the farm joke!!

??? the Attorney joke..

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What did Jesus say to the Polish people before he ascended into Heaven?

" Act real dumb until I get back"

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A 12 year old boy gets struck by a car, as he lays injured in the road, a passerby runs up to him screaming, " Do you Need a Priest?"

The boy replies, " How can you expect me to think about sex at a time like this?"

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A little boy asks his mother where babies come from. His mom says, "The stork brings them."

The boy says, "Well then who fucks the stork?"

We need an auto-TROTS feature for this bullshit.

Dasher wrote:We need an auto-TROTS feature for this bullshit.

Q: What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
A: This one will "sleigh" you!

2 dudes are out drinking heavy. 1 dude pukes all over his shirt and doesn't know how to explain it to his wife. His buddy tells him to leave $10 in the pocket of the shirt and tell her some other guy puked on him and gave him the ten spot to get the shirt cleaned.
The next moring she questions the money in the shirt pocket and he proceeds to tell her about the guy puking on him. She asks about the $20 in his pants pocket. He shit my pants too.