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What do you ASSholes want for Christmas?
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:46 pm
by Santa
Well? Should we go with the coal lumps again this year?
You probably don't deserve jack shit, but I'm a warm-hearted SOB, so you might as well go ahead and submit your requests.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:52 pm
by Sammy
I'd like it if you would quit trying to stick your dick in my ass everytime I have too much eggnog.
We can start there.
Exactly how generous are you feeling? The Polar bears have a request about you and your dick as well. As do the elves, Geese, Sasquatch, Mrs. Claus, and countless young bulgarian prostitutes.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:52 pm
by Santa
mvscal, no big shocker. I had you down for a lapdance from Star Jones...
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:54 pm
by Sammy
Yukon Cornelius, on the other hand, is asking for an extended visit after the big day.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:55 pm
by Santa
sammy, where we come from, you don't look askance at ANY source of heat. Would you prefer an icicle up your pooper? that can be arranged.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:57 pm
by Trollfessor
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:00 pm
by Santa
i fixed up mrs claus a little early this year. she cleaned up nice after a few gallons of botox
m2 is a fucking yid. no christmas for him. i can't arrange for his death directly, but I know a couple of mean fucking elves.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:02 pm
by Sammy
With the amount of time you spend with those pants around your ankles trying to bugger anything that moves, your John Thomas is desired about as much as Janet Reno at a Victoria Secret's after party.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:03 pm
by PSUFAN
Santa, I want to old RtS back - the one that SAVED the CFB forum, the one who was so tight with Heels, the guy with the angelic voice who tore through the caroling under the Spanish Moss.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:05 pm
by Yukon Cornelius
Sammy wrote:Yukon Cornelius, on the other hand, is asking for an extended visit after the big day.
Fuck that. I'm hoping for silver and gold!
(and maybe a nice Iniut woman to chew on my boots during the cold winter nights)
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:08 pm
by Santa
Here's a little secret, sammy. Janet Reno is a fucking SUPERSTAR on the swing circuit. You see, those folks get a tight, tight twist on...they're so fucking jaded after years of group strange, they'll pounce on ANYTHING that's just a little different.
You should see her cooter - more sliced meat than TWIS's avatar.
She's asked for more piercings for XMas...it's already to the point where magnets have to be removed from the room.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:11 pm
by Santa
PSUFAN wrote:Santa, I want to old RtS back - the one that SAVED the CFB forum, the one who was so tight with Heels, the guy with the angelic voice who tore through the caroling under the Spanish Moss.
Well, don't look at ME, shitstripe. YOU're the reason he can't post here.
BTW, I don't care what you asked for - you're getting toilet paper.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:16 pm
by Santa
maybe a nice Iniut woman
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA! Good luck on that one. You don't think I've been looking? I've been trying to find a decent-looking eskimo bitch for CENTURIES, man. Hopping over a few icebergs for a quickie with mrs. Ikniqpalagaq would be right peachy; so far, no go.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:26 pm
by Ingse Bodil
Of the 'nice' photos when pulling up 'eskimo hotties' (nothing pulls up under 'inuit hotties', i guess that should have been a sign there about the mindset of those who make porn):
not inuit.
definitely not inuit, so why is she included in something called 'eskimoporn galleries'? that's some bullshit.
not everyone lives someplace where you have to truck everything in every 6 months, but i still can't buy she's inuit either.
Santa, you know what you need to do.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:44 pm
by Sammy
Ingse Bodil wrote:Santa, you know what you need to do.
Put a slug in your fucking dome.
Do it Fatman! Fucking Do it!
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:50 pm
by Uncle Fester
Every Christmas it's the same: I always end up being a shepherd.
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:52 pm
by Ingse Bodil
Uncle Fester wrote:Every Christmas it's the same: I always end up being a shepherd.
It's better than getting a 'rock', right?
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:52 pm
by Mikey
Better the shepard than the sheep.
(I guess)
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:59 pm
by Uncle Fester
Ingse Bodil wrote:Uncle Fester wrote:Every Christmas it's the same: I always end up being a shepherd.
It's better than getting a 'rock', right?
Foul. You're mixing holidays.
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Nickles nickles nickles...
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 10:07 pm
by Ingse Bodil
rock.. coal.. stocking.. bag... ah hell, i'm sorry man. i honestly thought that was a merry christmas reset, not a great pumpkin reset. :(
Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 10:01 pm
by Cuda
Sammy wrote:Ingse Bodil wrote:Santa, you know what you need to do.
Put a slug in your fucking dome.
Do it Fatman! Fucking Do it!
DO IT!!!!!
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 12:45 am
by The Seer
Santa wrote:PSUFAN wrote:Santa, I want to old RtS back - the one that SAVED the CFB forum, the one who was so tight with Heels, the guy with the angelic voice who tore through the caroling under the Spanish Moss.
Well, don't look at ME, shitstripe. YOU're the reason he can't post here.
BTW, I don't care what you asked for - you're getting toilet paper.
Kringle can smak.....
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:12 am
by Mammy
I just wants my boy back...
I want to hep him....
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:23 am
by Doug near DC
If this Santa came slithering down my chimmney, I'd bust a cap in his ass.
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 4:24 am
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
Ban this fucking idiot.
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 4:35 am
by War Wagon
That's been tried before.
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 4:38 am
by Screw_Michigan
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Ban this fucking idiot.
completely agree. that shit can get you fired at work.
what a fucking cock sucker.