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the hardest working mortician in showbidness.

Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:54 am
by smackaholic
Just watching one of the tv gossip shows.

Actually, I was doing something far more manly, hacking out the wall between the kitchen/dining room with a sawzall. And, no dins, I didn't pull a permit, but the dude at the lumber store called an engineer geek from the microlam company who assured me that the double 12 inch lam beams over a 12 ft span will suffice. I digress.

Where were we..... Oh yeah as I was expertly wielding the sawzall I noticed james layin' there in the casket, so I stopped sawzalling long enough to hear that for his multicity dead tour this week, dude is wearing a different get up each day, all of them, no doubt highly stylish.

WTF?

I am the only one more than a little creeped out at the thought of someone going through multiple wardrobe changes while remaining pretty fukkin' dead? That fukkin' mortician must be absolutely nails to be able to keep an old dead dude from looking particularly worn through all these changes.

What happens if one of james' arms snaps off after one too many jacket changes?

I'm pretty damn sure that once I'm dead, I'm gonna put on just one suit. Probably be the one that I bust out for weddings/funerals now. It doesn't get that much use.

Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 6:15 am
by Atomic Punk
I think the important question is what brand of sawzall are you using and what type of blade? Length and Teeth per inch also.

Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 5:38 pm
by smackaholic
Atomic Punk wrote:I think the important question is what brand of sawzall are you using and what type of blade? Length and Teeth per inch also.
The real deal, milwaukee. Everything else is a reciprocating saw. I been using a short metal blade on the nails and a longer wood cutter onthe wood. Don't know exact lengths/toofs per inch. Oh, and rack the hell outta the dude that invented LVL. Beats the shit outta trying to get a 2 by 12 twisty ass pos dimensional lumber to do what you want it to.

And dins, you'll be happy to know that my lam beams came from some U&L outfit. Wonder how many tweakers had a hand in producing that thing?