T1B

SUNDAY SHOW:

The show is this upcoming Sunday. It begins at 8PM and It costs $5 and remember, if we all invite 2 people there will be a really nice crowd to perform to.

The show will likely end around 9:15/9:30.

Location: 5636 Melrose Ave (Larchmont/Melrose) Just west of Paramount Studios.

This is my first improv show so would really appreciate if you could attend.

Well, since you're such a gut-busting funny guy on this board, where you have time to think things through, I'm sure you'll excel at improv.

No, really.


Jess, you need to book an improv show in Kansas City. When people heckle you, you can just fire back with "I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I???"

The fits of laughter from the locals who think you're the greatest thing since inddor plumbing will be ear-shattering. They'll put you in the freaking KC Comedy Hall of Fame.

jtr wrote:This is my first improv show so would really appreciate if you could attend.

I suggest you take a page from Howard Stern's book and let the audience throw lunch meat at your oversized frame. Anything that involves more of you speaking and less of the audience using you for target practice decreases your, errrr, uhm... "act's"... comedic value.


Unless of course (keeping with the Stern theme) your voice is eerily similar to High-Pitched Eric. Over the course of your amazing career, I've never actually heard you speak. But in my mind, you always sounded like High-Pitched Eric. You could have the worst material in the history of the world, I am talking 'Michael Richards bad', and listening to your set might still be a hoot.

Good luck, loser. I hope the Nogs don't boo you off of the stage.

mvscal wrote:Sorry, I think I'm clipping my fingernails that night.

What if he promises to drop some n bombs on his hecklers? That might be worth a few laughs.

Is it really considered improv to stand in a corner and act like a lamp?

mvscal just made me laugh harder than I anticipate Jess' audience will during his entire set.

I really am ashamed of my board brethren....

One of "your" own comes to you for support and all you do is pile on....

Starting now, we all should contribute at least one anecdote or joke for jtr to introduce on stage..

Or, he could mimic some m2ool posts re: renfairs....

The Seer wrote:Starting now, we all should contribute at least one anecdote or joke for jtr to introduce on stage..

Fair enough...

What did one SoCal say to the other SoCal?




Nothing...he was too busy sucking fucking cock

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Who gives a fuck?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:

jtr wrote:This is my first improv show so would really appreciate if you could attend.

I suggest you take a page from Howard Stern's book and let the audience throw lunch meat at your oversized frame. Anything that involves more of you speaking and less of the audience using you for target practice decreases your, errrr, uhm... "act's"... comedic value.


Unless of course (keeping with the Stern theme) your voice is eerily similar to High-Pitched Eric. Over the course of your amazing career, I've never actually heard you speak. But in my mind, you always sounded like High-Pitched Eric. You could have the worst material in the history of the world, I am talking 'Michael Richards bad', and listening to your set might still be a hoot.

Good luck, loser. I hope the Nogs don't boo you off of the stage.

who's high pitch

jtr, tell 'em you are Anna Nicole's baby's papa...

Jsc810 wrote:Sunday morning good luck bump for Jess.

Hey Jess, surely you'll have a friend with a camera (maybe even video), post some pics for those of us who won't be able to make the show tonight.

If he's smart, he won't post video or pics of it here.

It's always good to come here first, though. He'll never face a tougher audience than this place.

I think the "Seer" has the right idea--
go for the gold !!

JSC,

I've been listening to Tito Puente all my life, he's one of my favs.

All Stripes resets are cool.

I think JSC's post should have read "one day Jess will be dead, and..."

Dinsdale wrote:All Stripes resets are cool.

I think JSC's post should have read "one day Jess will be dead, and..."

Mister, I've been noticing that you're always last.

You know he's going to stand up there and first thank the crowd, then try one attempt at a joke, then go into his "acting" resume.

The whole 10 minutes he's up there he's going to try to tell funny stories about being on the set with the real stars. I'll bet you anything that's what he's going to do.

Jsc810 wrote:Hey Jess, tell us about it, how did it go?

By the looks of this I doubt it could have gone very well...

http://flixn.com/play/289k/

Jesus Christ, that was painful to watch.

I'm sorry, but Jess can't come to the keyboard right now...he's a little busy.

Sin,
Jess' Shower Rod



And I'm just going to go ahead and RACK TTB on that find. And I'm going to have to RACK fate, for making me me, rather than Jess. Egads, I tried to punch him through the monitor. That's got to be the most horrific thing posted in the history of Al Gore's Internet.

Fuck...my eyes. My ears. I'm gunna hire TVO to sue the fat bastard for emotional distress.

I'm guessing that the bed behind him might be able to support his head, but where does the rest of him sleep?.....nevermind.

Why don't you all quit picking on my son.....

Did you NOT see what we saw ???

It seemed to me like he was asking for a reason to live.

go ahead and off yourself. Between his chin and your "dependence" on this board......who is fatter?

Typical. Sequels always suck.

The first "Super Size Me" was way better.

Toddowen wrote:Dinsdale, how about making this one of the times that you perform one of your miraculous feats of internet guidance and steer Jess toward greener pastures under your wise and benevolent wing?

I'm an internet blowhard, not a miracle worker, Jim!

Mile-Hi T wrote:Did you NOT see what we saw ???

It seemed to me like he was asking for a reason to live.

go ahead and off yourself. Between his chin and your "dependence" on this board......who is fatter?

Racist.

Toddowen wrote:Dinsdale, how about making this one of the times that you perform one of your miraculous feats of internet guidance and steer Jess toward greener pastures

Dubious choice of words there, Todd. Doesn't appear that Jess needs steering toward pastures of any color. Seems to me he's done enough grazing.

e wrote:"hopeless" is a race?

That took ball.

Tom In VA wrote:That took ball.

I laughed.

I seriously used to think jess had some powerful jew family member in hollywood getting him into all those pismop roles. After seeing that, I think he earned every fucking one of them.

Role: Geekiest, most loserly fellow out there.

jess wins every one of them, hands down. They probably think he's one of the acting greats of all time. They just wonder why he stays "in character" while off the set. What a hard worker...

Toddowen wrote:Are you still going to laugh and egg him on to jump?

No, he wouldn't, because Mile Hi is a racist piece of shit. If Jess was fat, dorky, but black, Mile Hi would be in here defending him and calling us racists for mocking him.

God, I hate racists.

Jsc810 wrote:How did it go?

Hasn't his silence already answered that for you?

Jess can certainly strike fame. He just needs to call William Hung for some pointers.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:

Toddowen wrote:Are you still going to laugh and egg him on to jump?

No, he wouldn't, because Mile Hi is a racist piece of shit. If Jess was fat, dorky, but black, Mile Hi would be in here defending him and calling us racists for mocking him.

God, I hate racists.

Fat is fat, dorky is dorky.

Either Jess was filled with sheer terror to do that video blog, or that's how he comes off naturally. But with either scenario, I can't imagine a "live show" would go over well.

Toddowen wrote:Jess elicits a good laugh from me in his blog, so I think he must have done OK in his show.

The best part of his blog video is when he's talking about his being up for a part in a Paris Hilton movie:

JTR wrote:"Earlier this month I've auditioned for a major supporting role in a Paris Hilton movie called 'The Hottie And The Nottie' {clears throat} which I'm pretty sure that I've got but it's not filming until January, so {hangs head} it may take awhile for them to decide who they're going to use in my roles."

This is poweful comedy. I actually started giggling uncontrolably over viewing Jess's video last night before I retired for the evening, and I think it kept me awake laughing well into the night.


He very likely is the funniest poster on this board.

You're not right upstairs. Seriously.

Toddowen wrote:

Atomic Punk wrote:


You're not right upstairs. Seriously.

And why is that, Biggus Dickus? Because I enjoy a little...giggle?

Maybe/No.

It's because you're a retard.

It's rather simple when it comes to this board.

Mile-Hi T wrote:

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:

Toddowen wrote:Are you still going to laugh and egg him on to jump?

No, he wouldn't, because Mile Hi is a racist piece of shit. If Jess was fat, dorky, but black, Mile Hi would be in here defending him and calling us racists for mocking him.

God, I hate racists.

Fat is fat, dorky is dorky.

^^^^^^^^^

Stupid is stupid.

And get rid of the over-sized avatard, fuckface.

Goober McTuber wrote:^^^^^^^^^

Stupid is stupid.

And get rid of the over-sized avatard, fuckface.

Get a real job where you can install Firefox on your work PC.

BSmack wrote:

Goober McTuber wrote:^^^^^^^^^

Stupid is stupid.

And get rid of the over-sized avatard, fuckface.

Get a real job where you can install Firefox on your work PC.

Fuck off.