T1B

Every time the whole issue of gays in sports comes up, we always end up with someone mentioning locker rooms and showering.

Fags, and pro-fags (Jim Rome if you still listen) will tell you that you have already showered with fags. Also, just because they are fags, does not mean they like you. They will go and tell you that there is pretty much no way one of them will come up and start trying to hump you.

I fully agree that I have never heard a report of a fag jumping someone in a shower, that was not in some crappy prison movie. However ...... while a fag may not like you, or me for that matter .... chances are he may like someone out of 25 on the baseball team. Chances are even better he may like one of fifty, up to ninety on the football team. If that fag does not, then I know for fact a fag on the next team will. Does that mean that fag will try and attack that dude? Fuck if I know!

What I do know is, I have never been in any situation where men and women shower together. Im talking real showers. Nekkid and all. Not that single pole with a faucet at the beach. Why is that? The next time I am allowed to go into a gym, shower with that fucking hot blonde with the big titties, that would be cool. Prolly even make a good letter to Penthouse. However, more than likely, Id go the day that the quilters from the old folks home were there. Five wrinkeld up old bags with a combined weight close to that of my truck. Pass.

Seeing that this in 2007 this whole debate can end now. Why the fuck is anyone showering with anyone in a public setting? They have this shit called walls, stalls, and partitions. We have doors, and some of them come with locks. None of those are free, but none of them are expensive either. Hell, you can nail up a few shower curtains for less than $20.00 Its about time someone mixed in some common sense to this situation.

Do I like fags? No. Do I hate fags? No. Do I really give a shit one way or the other about fags? Well that depends. If they do whatever they do, dont throw it up in my face, force it down my throat every damn night on tv in one form or another, march around in high heels, swinging purses in their parades, then I really dont give damn. Yet you have this segment of the flamers. They are basically the extemists of the fags. I dont know anyone that likes an extremist of any type. Race, religon, politics, you name it. What I do find most ironic, as you will find it with any extremist group, they like to rant about accepting diversity, while they are only fixated upon a single topic. That has never made sense to me.

If you really want to be accepted, shower behind a curtain, and at least, try to act normal. That way, the rest of will us not give a shit about you one way or the other.

Were we supposed to read all that?

kcdave wrote: What I do know is, I have never been in any situation where men and women shower together.

How quickly you pople forget Verhooven's gem "Starship Troopers".

Or, ..... 'we' could learn from the Euros.
No showering, no fag problem.

RACK Europe.

kcdave wrote:Do I like fags? No. Do I hate fags? No. Do I really give a shit one way or the other about fags? Well that depends. If they do whatever they do, dont throw it up in my face, force it down my throat every damn night.

For someone who admits to being skullfucked on a daily basis, you sure show less animosity towards the queers than one would expect.

The only sound conclusion one could arrive at is... you truly love it when Phil Myholup grabs you by the ears and jackhammers your wanting cocksucker like he was trying to break through 4 feet of cement.

Bizzarofelice wrote:
How quickly you pople forget Verhooven's gem "Starship Troopers".

RACK

A Movie so bad it was good.

Gotta love that Equal Rights Army of the Future Thing.

I believe the same thing is projected for Aliens if I'm not mistaken

R-Jack wrote:

kcdave wrote:If you really want to be accepted, shower behind a curtain

I'm not sure, but I think putting the fag behind a curtain so the rest of the straight men can shower together nekkid in peace sounds kinda queer.

How about the veinpole puffers staying thier meat mallet massaging ass the fuck off a sports team and stick to being a fucking designer on a home and garden network show?


Then again if that criteria were to be followed, the fucking Portland Fail Blazers and San Diego Chargettes would cease to exist.

Raydah James wrote: How about the veinpole puffers staying thier meat mallet massaging ass the fuck off a sports team and stick to being a fucking designer on a home and garden network show?

Yeah, but were it not for the kielbasa-smugglers, Ninerfan would have never been able to appreciate the services...can I change that to "athletic ability"?...of Jeff Garcia and the best receiver in the history of the game, Jerry Rice.

Sure, Garcia was slightly above-average when it comes to skill, but he's proven time and again that though he may prefer to have them dangling below another man's chin like a turkey gobble, he's got nuts of steel and is a pretty fucking solid player.

But let's not dwell on Garcia, his well known lisssssssp and Lowell-esque mannerisms, because he at one time was banging 2004 Playmate of the Year Carmella DeCasare. I know, rules and all...



As far as I'm concerned, this gives Garcia a pass, no matter how many times he's had to fight the gag reflex as the glans of some oiled-up Puerto Rican pool boy was slammed against his tonsils.

I'm here to talk about Jerry Rice. Now don't get me wrong, Rice is one of my all-time favorite players as a life-long Ninerfan, so I'm not here as a Rice hater to just launch some random attack on the guy. My problem is that as much as I loved what he did on the field, I'll never be able to forget his clandestine visit to a Mountain View massage parlor known for sexual favors and the secret service-type cover up by the organization and local media.

To be fair to Rice, he wasn't caught with anyone's mouth in his lap, either male or female, when the parlor was raided by cops. He was hiding, having locked himself in a bathroom stall, with his eyes closed muttering softly and trying to channel with the officers, [jedi hand wave]"You will not check the bathrooms"[/jedi hand wave]. Son of a bitch!...didn't work. The cops pulled Rice out of the bathroom along with every other "customer" in the establishment and questioned him in the parking lot.

He claimed that he was looking for a deep tissue massage and that a teammate had recommended the place to him as a prank. Once he realized that it was essentially a bordello, he went in to use the bathroom on his way out, just when the police stormed in. Now I don't know about you, but I'm thinking that on my list, "whore house bathroom" ranks square at the fucking bottom of places where I'd pull out my hog to drain the pipes. Hell, I'd rather piss in a Snapple bottle in my car as I'm driving down the road, than drain it in the same place where prostitutes use the sink to rise the taste of cum out of their mouths. It's a hell of a lot more likely that dude freaked when he heard the police storm in and tried to slink off like a portly U&L divorcee who wakes up at 3AM on a Saturday morning with her face resting against the matted, sweaty hair on Dinsdale's back.

Now being in a massage parlor alone doesn't make Rice gay, but said parlor WAS located smack in the middle of the Bay Area, which as we all know is essentially cockgobbler Mecca. It's quite likely that his scheduled masseuse was a Nicaraguan named Jorge in a Tommy Hilfiger thong, with completely plucked eyebrows replaced by ones drawn on with a burnt umber makeup pencil. Had Rice simply been after regular sex, he could have gone to any number of places athletes go for such things, including a private club, escort service in a hotel, back room in a strip club, etc. But Rice didn't do that. He drove all the way to Mountain View for a "massage", at a seedy place known for giving blowjobs, when the 49ers had professional REAL masseuses on their staff who were available at Rice's whim.

Nevermind that Rice isn't exactly the most masculine fellow himself, and can be at best described as an effeminate metrosexual, but no teammate ever came forward to claim credit for the alleged "prank" of sending Rice there. It seems pretty clear that had a member of the 49ers actually thought that it would be funny to send a married guy to a brothel in the first place (not unbelievable based on the type of individuals that the league seems to cater to), he'd certainly think it was funny as hell that Rice actually went and would either be falling all over himself to take credit for the "classic" prank, or if he was a classy guy he'd at least have the courtesy to identify himself and apologize, considering the way Rice was embarrassingly discovered by police. Or, Rice could have done as any reasonable individual would have done, and angrily named said teammate and demanded an apology at a press conference with his wife at his side. But neither happened.

Instead, both the club and the Niners radio partner KNBR blasted any media outlet that even dared report it as acting with a "Jerry Springer" mentality. If it was just a crass prank by a teammate, why the virtual silence from the organization and the SF media and why the outrage at those outlets daring to report the story? Everyone involved seemed like they were scared to death of what the truth might be, so rather than address the situation, they did their best to attack those talking about it and just hoped it would all go away. Fortunately for him, it seemed to die quickly.

Even if Rice was there to get his meatsicle face-shagged, while Jorge hummed "Karma Chameleon", I'm still proud to call myself a fan of his. Were it not for Rice's legendary prancing-after-the-catch ability, or "PAC", the Niners would never have won four Superbowls during his Hall of Fame career.

While refreshing my memory on the subject, I came across this website: Niner Hater's Society. Pretty funny stuff.

Mister Bushice wrote:Were we supposed to read all that?

Regardless of topic, that's exactly what's wrong with all of these boards anymore. Someone actually puts forth a bit of effort to articulate their thoughts in more than four sentences, and all the "drive-by-smackers" want to chime in with "Cliff's Notes" smack. Ponderous, and makes for lack of creativity. Y'all keep enjoying that shit.

Most of you faggots here never offer anything original. You sit back and wait so you can jump in with your "You're a tard," "You're a homo," and "You suck a lot, off yourself" smack.




I liked the post. Not just because I agreed with it, but because someone actually took the time (more than 2.5 minutes) to articulate their thoughts. If y'all all want to go Cuda and Smackie Chan and just fire from the rooftops, go ahead. You'll join the ranks of those who really have nothing to offer to the intrawebs.


P.S.
ElvisMonster has nothing much to offer, but I like him. Don't make fun of his forehead.



edit - RACK OCmike - edit

Were we supposed to read all that?

Oh, and Rack not in OC anymore Mike. Always worth the read.

Mister Bushice wrote:Were we supposed to read all that?

Oh, and Rack not in OC anymore Mike. Always worth the read.

Dude, you post in every thread. You mean to tell me you don't have the time to read them? Are you just dropping in with a spray full of mouth-cum in every thread? How do you have an opinion on everything if you don't read anything?

You're new here, aren't you?

You see, ST, kcdave drops by here every new moon, spews a rant, then leaves, thus making his posts a sort of genetic dead end since he never follows up or waits around to be smacked. He lives with a rib crackin', bat wielding woman. He has learned that fleeing is safety.

You, on the same hand tend to post about cum and ass eating, then when you attack others you accuse them of cum and ass eating,

How can you use ass and cum smack when you partake of it yourself?

ponderous, is what it is. ponderous.

rack mike! I suspect more than a little plagerism there, but, rack'em anyway for the good read.

RACK Salad Tosser.

smackaholic wrote:rack mike! I suspect more than a little plagerism there, but, rack'em anyway for the good read.

Thanks, but that's all me. In fact, I think the only thing I borrowed from that website was the quote about "Jerry Springer mentality". I figured someone might think I went KCPaul on someone else's work, since I haven't been motivated to bang something like that out in quite a while, which is why I provided the link at the bottom of the page. Read their post and mine and you won't find many similarities.

Buwahahahahahahaha.


Excellent work, Mike.


RACK

SaladTosser wrote:If y'all all want to go Cuda and Smackie Chan and just fire from the rooftops, go ahead.

l. to r.: Cuda, Smackie

It's all about knowing one's role, Tosser. That, and not really giving a shit about what a bunch of miscreants on a message board think and therefore not caring to waste time and energy trying to inform, persuade, or entertain them. It's not like I don't have a history of posting diatribes, either. I've done so many a time, including here, but not so much recently, and the only reason I did so there is because it was requested. But generally speaking, I know my role isn't to post creative stories about felching, rimming, or GMJO; you've pretty much sewn up that part. Dins is the resident know-it-all, mvscal is the name-calling homophobic racist, LTS TRN 2 has got the anti-Zionist, let's-lynch-Bush & Co. angle handled, Moving Sale is the conspiracy theorist, and so on. They know their parts, play them well, and don't need any weak competition from me or anyone else. The only ones who don't know the roles they're playing are the ones who, by definition, are too stupid to realize it. I'm talking, of course, about the board bitches and tards. You know - the m2ools, Sissyroos, Whiteys, KC Pauls, KC Kids, et al of the world. While I'm not saying they don't provide a valuable service, they do so unknowingly, where most others have an idea of what they contribute.

You mentioned the ranks of those who have nothing to offer the intrawebs. I harbor no illusions that I don't fall into that category. So I generally, during the few and brief times when I get a chance to visit the board, try to live by the adage that "brevity is the soul of wit." And I realize that, more often than not, it's a swing and a miss. But at least by keeping my posts short, I can't be accused of wasting a bunch of posters' time by making them read through a pile of crap before realizing it's crap. They'll know it's shit within about five seconds, because by then, they'll be done reading it. And on the rare occasion when what I post is actually funny, everybody's a winner.

I'll just stay up here on the rooftop, looking for the occasional target of opportunity. It's what I do, and since I was singled out for it in your post, I must be good at it. So I'll just keep playing to my strength. I'm sure you will, too.

SaladTosser wrote:

Mister Bushice wrote:Were we supposed to read all that?

Oh, and Rack not in OC anymore Mike. Always worth the read.

Dude, you post in every thread. You mean to tell me you don't have the time to read them? Are you just dropping in with a spray full of mouth-cum in every thread? How do you have an opinion on everything if you don't read anything?

Bushice is, among other things, a gameless fucking twat who hasnt ever brought a memorable thing to the table here in T1B.


He's essentially a mod version of KC Paul without the stuck Capslock key.


Tell me you knew.....

RACK kcdave and ST.

pop, I laughed at the Euro shower comment.

Smackie Chan wrote:The only ones who don't know the roles they're playing are the ones who, by definition, are too stupid to realize it. I'm talking, of course, about the board bitches and tards. You know - the m2ools, Sissyroos, Whiteys, KC Pauls, KC Kids, et al of the world. While I'm not saying they don't provide a valuable service, they do so unknowingly, where most others have an idea of what they contribute.

Damn, somebody's always dropping my nic in a derogatory manner. It's a bad rap, I tell you. Not to question your board cred Smackie, but just who the fuck are you to be passing judgement on moi? You don't know me any more than I know you. Now there's the real problem with these message board thingies. So many try to lump persons into certain categories. Sheesh, paint with a broad brush much?

Sorry if I don't and won't fit into the category that you've ascribed as being my place. As for me, I'll just continue to do what it is that I do 'round here, not giving a flying fuck what role or "valuable service" it is that an arrogant shitstain like yourself thinks that I provide.

War Wagon wrote:Damn, somebody's always dropping my nic in a derogatory manner. It's a bad rap, I tell you.

No, it isn't. Nine times out of 10, you are a fucking tard. Bud Light out front should have told you.

To wit:

War Wagon wrote:Not to question your board cred

I'm sure SC has spent many a night wondering if you think he has "board cred."

You're kidding, right?

SaladTosser wrote:If y'all all want to go Cuda and Smackie Chan and just fire from the rooftops, go ahead. You'll join the ranks of those who really have nothing to offer to the intrawebs.

I appreciate the efforts from the long-winded types, as well, and some are pretty good writers.

But...

I come here for the laughs. And since the one liner-types make me laugh more than the trying-to-be-creative-types, I could say they actually do contribute more, for my money.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: I appreciate the efforts from the long-winded types

huh?

as well, and some are pretty good writers.

But...

I come here for the laughs. And since the one liner-types make me laugh more than the trying-to-be-creative-types, I could say they actually do contribute more, for my money.

EAD horntickler

dont listne to me , im drinking alot lately and i ame very much patsty stone.

Mister Bushice wrote:You see, ST, kcdave drops by here every new moon, spews a rant, then leaves, thus making his posts a sort of genetic dead end since he never follows up or waits around to be smacked. He has learned that fleeing is safety.[/i]

Wrong.

I leave because I generally make my entire point in my one and only post, and rarely feel the need to come back and smack tards who are well below my intelligence level. The only reason I return tonight, is to RACK the tosser ..... for smacking you. BTW .... Why do you post in every damn thread?

War Wagon wrote:Damn, somebody's always dropping my nic in a derogatory manner.

Ever wonder why that is?

It's a bad rap, I tell you.

That's really not your call.

Not to question your board cred Smackie, but just who the fuck are you to be passing judgement on moi?

No different than anyone else. When you post on a message board (especially one ostensibly devoted to smack), you run the risk of having what you post judged by those who read what you submit. Some run a higher risk than others of being judged to be tards. You just happen to be a high risk. Nothin' I can do about that.

You don't know me any more than I know you.

And your point is ...? No one is judging you as a person. They're judging you as a poster. As a person, you might be the salt of the earth. As a poster, you're a board bitch. C'est la vie.

Now there's the real problem with these message board thingies.

I don't see any problem.

So many try to lump persons into certain categories.

It's human nature. You expected something different? If so, you're dumber than I thought.

Sheesh, paint with a broad brush much?

Doesn't really matter what type of brush I paint with. I'm a terrible artist.

Sorry if I don't and won't fit into the category that you've ascribed as being my place.

No need to apologize. You fit the category like a glove.

As for me, I'll just continue to do what it is that I do 'round here

No one expects anything different. You just keep bein' the pinata, and we'll keep swingin' the sticks. Everyone has their role in this delicate ecosystem. Thanks for holding up your end.

kcdave wrote:

Mister Bushice wrote:You see, ST, kcdave drops by here every new moon, spews a rant, then leaves, thus making his posts a sort of genetic dead end since he never follows up or waits around to be smacked. He has learned that fleeing is safety.[/i]

Wrong.

I leave because I generally make my entire point in my one and only post, and rarely feel the need to come back and smack tards who are well below my intelligence level.

Oh my Christ. The most significant bit of information we gleaned from your monthly menstruation post was:

KC thinks2muchofhimself wrote: Fuck if I know!

BTW .... Why do you post in every damn thread?

so you read every single thread here, but can only manage to scramble enough mental acuity together to spew out one post?


After reading this months contribution, I can only say thank fucking God and god for that.

RadioFan wrote:Nine times out of 10, you are a fucking tard.

Ten times out of 10, you are fucking worthless, and once again you prove that.

It's quite amusing watching you try to step towards me Radidio, when you know deep inside how badly you suck, and how badly you'll get beat down when you try that.

If there were anyone who needs to learn their role, that'd be you.

Smackie Chan wrote:
And your point is ...? No one is judging you as a person. They're judging you as a poster. As a person, you might be the salt of the earth. As a poster, you're a board bitch. C'est la vie.

Doh! The dreaded C'est la vie smack?

Are you French, Smackie?

What's with the "they" crap? Can you not speak for yourself? The last refuge of pussies is when they pull that card... and you feel quite comfortable in glossing moi as a "board bitch"?

I've got news for you, smackless. Before now, you didn't even exist. I'll see if'n I can't re-double my efforts towards changing your opinion, or I'll make you my "board bitch" in the process.

Better luck.

War Wagon wrote:you feel quite comfortable in glossing moi as a "board bitch"?

Very comfortable. As does the rest of the board, apparently.

I'll see if'n I can't re-double my efforts towards changing your opinion, or I'll make you my "board bitch" in the process.

Good luck with that. You'll forgive me if I don't hold my breath, though.

Smackie Chan wrote: Very comfortable. As does the rest of the board, apparently.

That would be a mistake.

The "rest" of the BOARD can kiss my ass. Most of this BOARD sucks. You're dealing with me here and now, smackless chan. Do you want some of this, or do you want to just continue making baseless accusations?

Be careful what you wish for.

rack OCMike - damned funny read.

Smackie Chan wrote:I'll just stay up here on the rooftop, looking for the occasional target of opportunity. It's what I do, and since I was singled out for it in your post, I must be good at it. So I'll just keep playing to my strength. I'm sure you will, too.

Smackie, you and Cuda make me laugh. I didn't mean it in a derogatory manner. Variety is what makes these boards enjoyable for me. My point was that there are 20 drive-byers to every 1 originator, seemingly. You cats crack me up, but I would like to see more story-tellers jump in the mix. It seems like the Jacks of the world start every other thread, and then you all punish him one-line-post at a time. Unfortunately, it sounds as though your diatribe era was before my time. From your post in this thread, I'm sure I would have been a fan. Not that any of us take all this shit that seriously, it just seems as though there was a little more creative effort set forth as recently as a few years ago. I enjoyed that. Hell, to be honest, I haven't spun a magical tale in some time myself.

Anyway, I'm bbqjonesed as a mother.

War Wagon wrote:

Smackie Chan wrote:The only ones who don't know the roles they're playing are the ones who, by definition, are too stupid to realize it. I'm talking, of course, about the board bitches and tards. You know - the m2ools, Sissyroos, Whiteys, KC Pauls, KC Kids, et al of the world. While I'm not saying they don't provide a valuable service, they do so unknowingly, where most others have an idea of what they contribute.

Damn, somebody's always dropping my nic in a derogatory manner. It's a bad rap, I tell you. Not to question your board cred Smackie, but just who the fuck are you to be passing judgement on moi? You don't know me any more than I know you. Now there's the real problem with these message board thingies. So many try to lump persons into certain categories. Sheesh, paint with a broad brush much?

Well, a broad brush would be a good choice when painting the fat-assed tards from KC. Not like you’re going to opt for the 2” tapered finish brush.

War Wagon wrote:

RadioFan wrote:Nine times out of 10, you are a fucking tard.

Ten times out of 10, you are fucking worthless

When faced with any sort of smack, what does a KC tard do?


Of course...it wasn't open for debate...


I know you are, but what am I.


It never fucking fails.