T1B

While in Vegas a stripper from Sapphire named Liza gave me her phone number, what am I supposed to do call her up and ask her to come ride my pole? Any Vegas posters want her number?

Check your wallet tool!

No problem.

Call her up and say, "Hey, Liza! My username is hapbeej, on Xbox."

That ought to reel her in for sure.

RACK all the responses thus fan.

Jess, make sure you bring copies of American Pie II for her.

Jess,

I fear you've miscategorized her posts approach.

She gave you a telephone number because she mistook you for a FBI Info Kiosk. She needs to reach out to the authorities because she's the victim of a white slavery ring (DOWN, Kevnic!! Take it EASY!).

I suggest you lose a few pounds, shave your pate so people don't mistake you hair for armrest padding or decorative styrofoam, and wipe the alluvial fan of Crisco from your vast chins.

Strippers will then start ignoring you, which is a good thing. You're supposed to just LOOK at them, and then leave.

Jess, you're such a dolt. That wasn't her number. She was ranking you.

Rootbeer wrote:Jess, you're such a dolt. That wasn't her number. She was ranking you.

Either that or Jess asked, "guess my weight."

Jess,

You need to ask yourself "What would Charlie Sheen do?"

I had a stripper give me a phone number once. I'm not bashful, I called her the next day. We arranged a meeting at my house. She shows up, asks what I want and how much I am willing to pay.

It was all business. Damn woman!

Rootbeer wrote:Jess, you're such a dolt. That wasn't her number. She was ranking you.

rack

Toddowen wrote:A stripper handing out her card to the same guy that we saw in that blog video a few months ago is just a little too unbelievable

Oh, it's completely believable. It's all about the stripper's intent. If you want to know more, see Dog's post. Jess is exactly the type of dude a stripper is gonna target. That's easy money.

88 wrote:You are supposed to give her your number. Your VISA account number, to be exact.

I could see something similar to what happened Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love...it'll end with Jess getting beat up by a couple dudes in a pickup truck.

It's gotta be a roost. Strippers make money off lonely guys all the time...it's a scam, don't fall for it.

702 351 6417 is a ranking?

jtr wrote:702 351 6417

Ok, she said $300 for an hour. $500 if you want to have sex.

jtr wrote:702 351 6417 is a ranking?

TMI...

a fantastic thread of hysterical responses.

yes, please.

a fantastic opportunity to dial 702 351 6417 hysterically hundreds of times.

--rts

[quote="jtr"]702 351 6417 is a ranking?[/quote]

Is this her actual number?

I take back what I said about you and being cool.

Why the fuck would you consider a strippers personal life less than this board. Jess you will never get fucking laid and will die lonely and pathetic like the rest of the losers here.

Fucking bitch move man, I dont even care who she was.

You can clown on her all you want for being a stripper, but how is your existence any fucking different with you whoring it up to Hollywood for 2 bit parts that will never earn you a decent income. Then in about 5 years when no one gives a fucking shit about your gimmick, what will you do? Come to these 10 people in the world and dance like a fucking monkey?

Enjoy your days fucking MGO in the ass, I heard he likes mayonaise on his taint and a good 30 minutes of straight licking his ass while he jerks it and cums in your face.

BTW Jess, I can garauntee this whore, cunt, slut, bitch, loser, etc makes more money than you will and will retire better than your whore Hollywood wanna be ass

Dance fatass monkey, dance.

[quote="MgoBlue-LightSpecial"][quote="jtr"]702 351 6417[/quote]

Ok, she said $300 for an hour. $500 if you want to have sex.[/quote]

MGO is impressed, keep dancing chimp, keep dancing.

Just fetch me a deluxe with extra cheese and keep your fucking hole shut. And don't try to make small talk with me at my door. Just take your tip, and be grateful I afforded you an extra 40oz at the end of your shift.

[quote="IndyGunClown"][/quote]

I'm with ucant....this "troll job" has become an embarrassment....

seriously, quit posting....

Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.

Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

jtr wrote:702 351 6417 is a ranking?

It's your ranking amongst the men of China. For your overall worldwide ranking, put a 1 in front of that figure. And make sure to thank the Aborigines of Australia for being so ugly that it allowed you to get that high a ranking.

I'm guessing the average Aussie Aborigine (cc: slang request, missjo) gets more ass in a week than Jess will get in his entire lifetime.

And BTW, that ain't no complaint. Any foolishness with the birth control on Jess's part will be an Earth-scalding disaster.

Dinsdale wrote:

Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.

Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

When did m2 start trolling as Dins?

Shoalzie wrote:

Dinsdale wrote:

Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.

Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

When did m2 start trolling as Dins?

OK, I'll try again --

Dinsdale wrote:

Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.

Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

Clear things up?

What word do you think he meant, Dins?

In context, there's only one word I could possibly imagine using that vaguely resembles "roost."

Shoalzie wrote: It's gotta be a roost. Strippers make money off lonely guys all the time...it's a scam, don't fall for it.

Since "it's a scam," I can only assume he meant the stripper was perpetrating a ruse for the sake of scamming Jess.


I'm trying to rope "roost," "cousin," and "Jess" into one epic blast, but I'm coming up short...little help?

I enjoy ribbing Shotzie for his incestuous musings... he doesn't strike me as the "ruse vs roost" type. I am thinking it's some sort of Michigan slang. If I am wrong, so be it.

As for the original question...

Well Jess, I'm going to defer to a line of dialogue (not yours) from a movie that you were in...



"I recommend you stop being such a foggot."

[stream]http://moviewavs.com/0028375953/MP3S/Mo ... atbelt.mp3[/stream]

Call her.

the_ouskull

...and let's get a Media tag on this bitch, no?

Screw you, ouskull. I saw a (M) tag on this thread and I thought that meant Moorese had posted in it. You suck.