T1B

Forgot to tell you monkeys this...

In the class that I took in Louisiana there was this guy who was just a complete mess. For one thing, he broke major dude protocol by sidling up to the urinal next to me while I was taking a squirt and tried to start up a conversation. I was drinking tons of coffee and tea that morning, since I got in at 2AM the night before and was fighting the sandman bigtime. At the next break, the dude comes into the bathroom right after me and says, "You're coming in here a lot. You have a condition or something?"
Me: Uh...no.
Him: Oh, cause I got a bladder problem that makes me piss constantly.
Me: That must suck.
Him: Yeah, but I got a lot of other problems too...

This from a guy that I don't even know?? I didn't even know the fukkers name at that point. Unbelievable.

Then, at the next break we all stayed in the classroom to bullsh*it. Dude starts telling everyone about how his wife stopped having sex with him out of the blue and then told him to just get out a couple of weeks later. Pretty much everyone to a man looks over at dude's left hand and notices that he's still wearing his wedding ring.

Moolie: If she dumped you, then why you still wearing that ring?
Him: When I said my vows, I meant them. "Til death do us part".
Moolie: Or "Until divorce do you part." She LEFT you, bro.
Him: Yeah, but things could still work out.
Moolie: I hate to be the one to say this, but it sounds like she was cheating on you, bro.
Him: Nooooo...I just think that she's messed up in the head and doesn't know what she wants. She'll take me back.

He then gets all misty-eyed and asks to borrow the cell phone of one of the other guys because it has a camera on it. He turns the camera around, points the lens at his face, holds up his wedding ring next to his cheek, starts weeping uncontrollably and snaps the picture as tears stream down his face. He hands the phone back to the dude and asks him to e-mail it to his old lady.

Phone dude: What's her e-mail address?
Moolie: Hang on, I think I've got it here in my wallet.
Everyone: BWAAHAHAHAHAHA

Because, before THAT pussy, you hadn't gotten any in your life; or much in your life, and lack of pussy makes men stupid. Ironically, so does too much pussy. It's a tough balancing act, indeed.

the_ouskull

Toddowen wrote:

OCmike wrote: For one thing, he broke major dude protocol by sidling up to the urinal next to me while I was taking a squirt and tried to start up a conversation.

How many other urinals were there in that bathroom? And you felt the need to be diplomatic and didn't drop a "WTF? Mind your own battle station, IL2!!!"

I think that's what I would've done without hesitation.

There were only two urinals in the bathroom.

Dude didn't go Irie on me, he was staring straight ahead as he was talking. Even still, I don't care to converse with someone else while they've got their wang hanging out. I'm funny that way.

Had there been three or more urinals, Man Law clearly states that he would leave at least a one urinal gap between the two of us or risk having his white socks get hit with a stream of brilliantly golden yellow OC nectar.

R-Jack wrote: Then you piss on them. Extra points if you downed a Rockstar with a plate of asparagus earlier.

Man Law...

I bathroom has 3 urinals and you walk in and the only dude in there has picked the middle urinal you are walking into the realm of another Irie Gayzeos.
Use a stall.

BTW- RJack

Extra points if you downed a Rockstar with a plate of asparagus earlier.

That's pretty fucking funny, I haven't ever done that but I'm going to "just because."
Call it a Science Project....

Jacks, this is hysterical because last night, after painting the kitchen all day I had to meet the family at the MIL house for dinner. On the way I bought a Full Throttle and downed it before I got there so I would be somewhat excited to be there. Lo and behold, on the table was a huge plater of freshly steamed asparagus. Needless to say, peeling paint last evening was a possibility.