T1B

listen up, cockslurpers:

May 28th will be the LAST set of rankings. everything you do between now and then means EVERYTHING. choose your words carefully. Your behavior on this message board could very well determine the fate of your LIFE.

Why, you ask?

Simple. A change has been made. this change will significantly affect nine of you dicksmokers.

What's this change, you ask?

the change is...




DEATH

That's right. ALL who finish in the top ten will DIE. i'm not fucking around anymore. every time i read this board my head swells up with redness and rage and i start to vomit. i just cannot handle you people. i cant' take it an ymore

that being said, here we go.

Last week's rankings:

10. mvscal
9. KC Scott
8. Mister Bushice
7. War Wagon
6. Goober McTuber
5. Y2K
4. smackaholic
3. Jay in Phoenix
2. R-Jack
1. PSUFAN

this week's rankings:

10. bbqjones - in one post, you have managed to show me less respect than some cocksuckers have AIMED for in WEEKS. i don't like this. you will pay with your LIFE.

9. Smackie Chan - i don't like you bumping aroudn in here getting cheap shots in at me. you think you're some kind of dennis miller type, don't you? you think you're funny? let me ask you something - will your wife find your testicles funny when she finds them hanging from your mantle when she returns home late at ngiht from sucking my cock ALL NIGHT LONG? didn't think so.

8. mvscal - listen you boy groping FAGGOT. are you prepared for what's to go DOWN? I don't think you are. death by baseball bat, drug overdose, or my FISTS. which do you prefer? I'll give you the choice, DICK.

7. Mister Bushice - you have time to get off this list if you play your cards right. are you going to start showing me respect yet?

6. smackaholic - stevo has set me up with most of the info i need on you, your travel plans, and your ride. i'll be keeping a close eye on you. just haven't figured out yet werhe i'm going to dump the body, and if i'll dick your wife before or AFTER i've disposed of you.

5. Goober McTuber - get fucked, ass

4. Y2K - i'm starting to sense you're REALLY taking this shit SERIOUSLY. that i can get with. but it won't allow you any mercy. you will be hurt, and tortured...and killed.

3. R-Jack - you still could easily climb to #1 if you keep saying these things to me that you say. not good. not good at all.

2. PSUFAN - you've slid off my radar just a tad. but make no mistake, you WILL die. it's not a matter of if. it WILL happen. i will do this for Slim.

1. Jay in Phoenix - UPSET in the making. wow, this really was tough to pull the trigger on, but you earned it. i think i'll watch you drink tar as i jam a utility knife up your anus. i'll create an incision large enough to stuff all the dicks of every dead guy before you on this list. THAT is how much i hate you, jay. this will be great.

DickInTheAss wrote:i'll be keeping a close eye on you. just haven't figured out yet werhe i'm going to dump the body, and if i'll dick your wife before or AFTER i've disposed of you.

and he follows it up with this gem wrote:i think i'll watch you drink tar as i jam a utility knife up your anus. i'll create an incision large enough to stuff all the dicks of every dead guy before you on this list.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

thanks for keeping my family safe from these turdburglars. I just sent you $150 via paypal. I will make it an even 5 grand when all 10 have died and gone to "penis heaven".

Fucking pussy, he is... but a good read nonetheless.

let me ask you something - will your wife find your testicles funny when she finds them hanging from your mantle when she returns home late at ngiht from sucking my cock ALL NIGHT LONG?

R-Jack,

His mom is dead you sick fuck. She just recently passed.

Stevo wrote:R-Jack,

His mom is dead you sick fuck. She just recently passed.

So he can't fuck his dead mother?

Show some fucking respect, asshole.

Ice Ice Baby wrote:Show some fucking respect, asshole.

I got yer respect RIGHT HERE:

DB-

my new boss, mr. 2, is giving me and t-bag a week off this summer so we can travel back east get some videotape of you and psufan going at it. mr. 2 said he doesnt really care who wins, but will give the victor five benjamins if both of you agree to wear some chain mail and fight using broadswords. mr. 2 says there is a big market for medevil snuff films at the faire. i thought you might want to know that if you take psufan down to mr. 2's pleasure, he said there is a lot more where that came from.

Stevo wrote:R-Jack,

His mom is dead you sick fuck. She just recently passed.

She probably caught sight of him in the pink shirt and puka shells and died of shame.

Douchebag wrote: A change has been made. this change will significantly affect nine of you dicksmokers.


DEATH

That's right. ALL who finish in thetop ten will DIE.

im theonly not a dicksmoker. kill my wife insted ain you think its needes.

bbqjones wrote:

Douchebag wrote: A change has been made. this change will significantly affect nine of you dicksmokers.


DEATH

That's right. ALL who finish in thetop ten will DIE.

im theonly not a dicksmoker. kill my wife insted ain you think its needes.

are you trying to make a fool of me?

One guy was going to die anyway, that's why only nine will be affected from this change.

ASSFUCK!

Douchebag wrote:

bbqjones wrote:

Douchebag wrote: A change has been made. this change will significantly affect nine of you dicksmokers.


DEATH

That's right. ALL who finish in thetop ten will DIE.

im theonly not a dicksmoker. kill my wife insted ain you think its needes.

are you trying to make a fool of me?

I don't think you need any help in that area. You're doing quite well on your own.

Douchebag wrote:

bbqjones wrote:

Douchebag wrote: A change has been made. this change will significantly affect nine of you dicksmokers.


DEATH

That's right. ALL who finish in thetop ten will DIE.

im theonly not a dicksmoker. kill my wife insted ain you think its needes.

are you trying to make a fool of me?

One guy was going to die anyway, that's why only nine will be affected from this change.





ASSFUCK!

Enigmabag wrote:DB-

my new boss, mr. 2, is giving me a t-bag a week

only one per week.....

I would have figured you for a 2-3 t-bag a week dude.....go figure

I never make any lists.

Cicero wrote:I never make any lists.

I saw your name and number on the mens room wall at a local walmart shitroom. And a gas station pisshole. and a porta pottie.

I thought the pen and the pad of post it notes you left was rather thoughtful on your part.

Helping others make lists is almost as good, I suppose.

But the "For a good time call" sig was a BIT of a stretch, don't ya think?

Cicero wrote:I never make any lists.

You had better be ready for June 3rd though.

Douchebag wrote:1. Jay in Phoenix - UPSET in the making. wow, this really was tough to pull the trigger on, but you earned it. i think i'll watch you drink tar as i jam a utility knife up your anus. i'll create an incision large enough to stuff all the dicks of every dead guy before you on this list. THAT is how much i hate you, jay. this will be great.

Huh. I guess I should be all scared honored and stuff. Damn, with only one or two replies over the last week I get bumped up to numero uno.

Ooops.

Guess I should refrain from any Mexican phrases or references. Douchefag is going to start having flashbacks about his beatdown anal plundering by that group of bush whackin' beaners in the 'Burgh. Well guess what you crew of degenerate dumbfucks...Phoenix is a veritable HAVEN of taco tossers. Once you cross the border to this state, your gonna be up to you're gonna be swimming in a fuckin' sea of wetbacks. They cluster in the hundreds outside of every Wal-Mart or Home Depot, milling around like burrito starved zombies, just begging for work. And they've all just been given standing orders to be on lookout for anybody wearing bright pink polos or puka shells. They get a bonus for any dead bodies with triple chins, so Douchebitch, you are on notice.

Since that slacker Stevo's hairplugs seem to be interfering with his limited intel, and you have STILL not given me your noose sizes, I'm just going to go generic. Fuck it, I've had enough of you losers.

In the words of a far, far better man than you Douchette:

Douchebitch...come out to PLAY-YAY!!! Douchebitch...come OUT TO PLAYYYY-YAYYYY!!!!

Douchevag wrote:9. Smackie Chan - i don't like you bumping aroudn in here getting cheap shots in at me.

Like I give two shits about what you like or don't like. The only shots you're worth are the cheap ones. No sense goin' top shelf for a nimrod like you and your assclown brigade.

you think you're some kind of dennis miller type, don't you?

I'd never really thought of myself as such, but apparently you do. I'd almost consider it a compliment, 'cept for the fact that you also consider Adam Sandler to be highbrow comedy. Then again, as bitter as you are because of your not-so-latent fudgetube-tappin' tendencies, I doubt that you find humor in anything. Not even your wardrobe.

you think you're funny?

Relative to what? Compared to TiC or LT2, I'm a regular Dane Cook. But compared to your attire, I'm about as funny as the ebola virus.

let me ask you something - will your wife find your testicles funny when she finds them hanging from your mantle when she returns home late at ngiht from sucking my cock ALL NIGHT LONG? didn't think so.

Fantasizing about my 'nads - color me shocked. You're giving yourself WAY more credit than you deserve. Just as begging isn't really foreplay, having some chick (and fantasize all you want that it's my non-existent wife - we all know it's really Stevo) spend all night LOOKING for your miniscule tool before getting you to make your O-face is NOT the same as getting your cack sucked all night long.

Look, assuming (didn't mean to give you a li'l woody by using a word that starts with ASS) your "plan" is to work your way down the list and you actually do get past bbq (unlikely - piggy'll prolly do you in), you'll never make it to the Elite 8. Once I'm done with you, I'll leave your rotting carcass on the steps of the Holocaust Museum. I'm sure they'll be happy to use it as a display to represent the work Dr. Mengele did in the field of genital mutilation. And I won't even have to do anything to your naughty bits that the good Lord hasn't already taken care of. So feel free to add DC to your itinerary. There's enough murder here to ensure that the cops' finding your body won't make much difference.

Maybe his "mom" was that really dumb fuck. You know, the one PSU killed...? Or all of them. I have to admit though, I had him pegged as more of the "two daddies and a chemistry set" type.

the_ouskull

MuchoBulls wrote:

Cicero wrote:I never make any lists.

You had better be ready for June 3rd though.

It will be epcot.