In Praise of Canned Beer

[Mikey]

Now, I usually consider myself pretty much of a beer snob. Probably around a second order beer snob, to be honest (nobody could approach the level of intellectual arrogance that Dins claims regarding not only drinking beer, but brewing it as well, not to mention every other subject in the world...). But I have to say this...there are certain times (when you're really hot and really thirsty for example) when there is nothing better than to pop open a can of realllllly cold beer (Model Especial preferably, I'd probably have to draw the line at anything approaching Wolfman's favorite beer) and chugging as much of it as you can before that beautiful pain gets just too intense.

[Bobby42]

And that's how it came to pass that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the spring of forty-nine wound up sitting in a row at ten o'clock in the morning drinking icy cold, Bohemia-style beer, courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank State Prison.

We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation.

Bottled beer please, but why debate when the task at hand requires nothing more than getting the brew in.

[War Wagon]

...(when you're really hot and really thirsty for example) when there is nothing better than to pop open a can of realllllly cold beer and chugging as much of it as you can...

I like beer as much as the next guy. Ok, probably waaay more than the next guy, and when I'm really hot and thirsty beer isn't what I crave. Give me some Gatorade. And none of that blue or red colored tooty fruity Gatorade crap the kids like. Just the good old piss colored lemon-lime original. I can slam a 32 oz. bottle of that fairly quick.

I haven't chugged a beer (or 6) since my party days ended in the late 80's.... or the last time I played quarters (man, I loved that game). Unwar puking up that shit only to pour more right back down your gullet.

[Mikey]

when I'm really hot and thirsty beer isn't what I crave. Give me some Gatorade.

Hot and thirsty when I'm still working (or playing), I'll take water. Gatorade maybe, but water preferably. When the work is finished (I thought you might get that from the context of my original post), a beer tastes mighty fine.

I haven't chugged a beer (or 6) since my party days ended in the late 80's.... or the last time I played quarters (man, I loved that game). Unwar puking up that shit only to pour more right back down your gullet.

I wasn't talking about chugging a whole fucking can (I'm to old for that shit anyways) or six and puking :roll: . I was just talking about the first three or four gulps.

[Wolfman]

Not many things come close to that first couple of gulps of cold beer after whatever physical work you have been doing-- when I am umpiring a high school softball game or officiating a high school football game---cold bottled water is my way to hydrate--after the game when I get home it's Beast Light time !
For Mikey to admit he is a "snob" about anything is quite an admission and good for him to "open up" a bit !!
I don't think anyone here really knows what brand of beer I do drink and why would you care.
Yes--I'd prefer my brew from a bottle and no--
I do not drink from the bottle, but pour it into one of my favorite Chicago style schooners. If only a can is available--so be it ! Depending on the bar--I like cold draft.

[Mikey]

I thought "Beast Light" was the only nectar ever to touch your lips...

[War Wagon]

When the work is finished (I thought you might get that from the context of my original post), a beer tastes mighty fine.

Umm, nope. "when the work is finished" isn't in the context.

I wasn't talking about chugging a whole fucking can (I'm to old for that shit anyways) or six and puking :roll: . I was just talking about the first three or four gulps.

Oh. Wait. You wrote "chugging as much as you can" and naturally I thought you meant downing the whole can. Or Six.

My bad. I forgot you're from Sandy Eggo where to you hardcore party animals, taking 3 or 4 gulps is "chugging as much as you can". Carry on, rockstar. Don't forget to belch.

:wink:

[SG's Son]

When the work is finished (I thought you might get that from the context of my original post), a beer tastes mighty fine.

Umm, nope. "when the work is finished" isn't in the context.

I wasn't talking about chugging a whole fucking can (I'm to old for that shit anyways) or six and puking :roll: . I was just talking about the first three or four gulps.

Oh. Wait. You wrote "chugging as much as you can" and naturally I thought you meant downing the whole can. Or Six.

My bad. I forgot you're from Sandy Eggo where to you hardcore party animals, taking 3 or 4 gulps is "chugging as much as you can". Carry on, rockstar. Don't forget to belch.

:wink:

How much jizz can you swallow in 30 seconds, cumchugger?

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

chugging as much of it as you can before that beautiful pain gets just too intense.

This = 3 or 4 gulps in your world?

Freaking lightweight.

[RadioFan]

Well, he is in California ...

[Mikey]

chugging as much of it as you can before that beautiful pain gets just too intense.

This = 3 or 4 gulps in your world?

Freaking lightweight.

I used to hit 300 yard drives regularly. Nowadays 280 is something to admire.

Your perspective changes after 40 or so. Believe me, you'll eventually find this to be true.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Yeah.

Either that or you didn't choose your words very carefully, and are too stubborn to admit it.

[Mikey]

Yeah.

Either that or you didn't choose your words very carefully, and are too stubborn to admit it.

Probably. I quit my last job because it required too much writing.

[RadioFan]

I'm still pretty much dry....haven't drank more than two beers in a sitting for over a year and consumed probably about a case, if that, since early May a year ago.


I've no idea what happened, really.....just lost the desire.

So have a few snorts. Live it up.

You need something to help you out before you off yourself anyway.

[PSUFAN]

Yuengling is better in cans. Otherwise, most of their products are sold in green glass..and therefore, they're skunked.

[Mister Bushice]

So have a few snorts. Live it up.

I just don't find beer to be enjoyable anymore.....not what I'd term "living it up".

They make you feel bloated....and stupid, if you are so able to recognize this. Not everyone does, unfortunately.

Bloated and stupid are two very accurate descriptive words that reflect what I imagine you to be after I read most of your posts.

How ironic. Just as I was replying to an email and in between typing this reply, my next door neighbor, drunk off his ass, just hit his mirror against the side of my house.

So either he admired his own reflection in your yard and stumbled, or like we all have suspected for so long, you also drive your "house" from one place to another, like you would drive, say, a "car"

I tried talling him out of driving to the store, but you know how that registers with a drunk.

You try talling anyone out of doing something, they'll think you're the drunk every time.

Stupid unemployed jerk.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I wasn't talking about chugging a whole fucking can (I'm to old for that shit anyways) or six and puking :roll:

During summer/winter breaks in my college days, I'd "practice drinking" to stay in excellent drinking game shape. This one day I decided to try and shotgun two 36 ounce Miller Lite cans back to back.... which I successfully did in about 10 seconds, mind you. About 3 minutes passed and I turned into a human geyser. My puke had the all the distance and majesty of a towering Ruthian blast. If this 2.7 seconds of epochness had been caught on tape, I'd be "YouTube famous" for sure.

[Dinsdale]

Wow...one of the Tard Twins really brought the lumber with that multiple IKYABWAI blast.

Epic.

[Dinsdale]

If this 2.7 seconds of epochness had been caught on tape, I'd be "YouTube famous" for sure.

No.

The bar has been raised quite a bit for Youtube puking vids. So unless you drank said 72 ounces out of your own ass, then it's pretty run-of-the-mill by Youtube standards.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

No.

On the real? This makes me sad. Its epochness at the time was unrivaled. Of this, I am sure...

God knows what these kids put into their bodies these days. I feel like Hammerin' Hank being robbed of his glory because some dork in a lab was able to concoct some potion that makes my blast look all 'Warning Track Power' and shit now....

[War Wagon]

This one day I decided to try and shotgun two 36 ounce Miller Lite cans back to back.... which I successfully did in about 10 seconds....

Nevermind the abuse of your taste buds ucant, we'll put that down to youthful indiscretion and hope that you learned your lesson.... but dude? Two 36 oz. cans in about 10 seconds? I call bullshit. Physically impossible.

[Dinsdale]

Two 36 oz. cans in about 10 seconds? I call bullshit. Physically impossible.

Easily accomplished with a beer-bong.

20 years ago, anyway.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Two 36 oz. cans in about 10 seconds? I call bullshit. Physically impossible.

Is the term "shotgunning" a foreign concept in KC?


Take a bottle opener and make a hole on the side of the can and lay the can its side, hole side up so as it doesn't spill. Lower your head and put your mouth over hole. Bring can upright with mouth still over the hole. Open top of can as per SOP. Same effect as drinking from a funnel.

[War Wagon]

Is the term "shotgunning" a foreign concept in KC?

No, and neither is "emergency room".

Take a bottle opener and make a hole on the side of the can and lay the can its side, hole side up so as it doesn't spill. Lower your head and put your mouth over hole.

We used to put the hole in the bottom of the can, but a 16 oz. is as far as I ever went and trust me, that was far enough.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

No, and neither is "emergency room".

It's just the equivalent of 6 beers. And sadly, my body rejected it. Back in the day, I was an animal when it came to "pounding beers."

Ever play the game "Anchorman"? Look it up if you haven't. I'd always be "the anchor." Many a time upon losing, I'd order my teammates to "sip it" so as I could pound the whole pitcher.

[Dinsdale]

As a yout, I beer-bonged 64 ounces of suds with 2 shots of tequila added for a bonus in about 4 seconds. Good times.

Then again, by age 18, I had soundly defeated the reigning Oregon State University Beer Bong Champion(yeah, they apparently had some big event to determine their champion...fucking hicks). Ahhh, the Glory Days. Any time the beer bong came out, or someone even mentioned the term "beer bong," my buddies eyes would light up, as they reached into their pockets to start making book.

"I've got $10 that says my boy will SMOKE your boy at the beer bong."

Fuckers would be running around the place like Michael Vick at a dogfight.

After a few hundred examples proving I could down a 12oz brew in about 0.5 seconds, I made a decision -- I didn't want to be the Willie Mays of beer-bonging. Instead, I rode off into the sunset and my own wing of the Beer Bong Hall of Fame, and retired undefeated.


Apart from calling people "idiot" and "fag" on the internet, I may not be good for much...but I can slowly age into a rocking chair knowing I was the best on the planet at something.


So I've got that going for me.

[Dinsdale]

I have a "right of way" driveway along side my place to the house behind me and my detached garage.

Just paid the zoning offical a visit as a matter of fact. This shit is coming to an abrupt and permanent stop.

Has the driveway been there more than 20 years?

If so, the zoning official gets to laugh as he explains "eminent domain" to you.

[PSUFAN]

mvscal,

Todd's checkout is late, if anything.

[Mr T]

Fuckers would be running around the place like Michael Vick at a dogfight.

Yes

[ChargerMike]

Not many things come close to that first couple of gulps of cold beer after whatever physical work you have been doing-- when I am umpiring a high school softball game or officiating a high school football game---cold bottled water is my way to hydrate--after the game when I get home it's Beast Light time !
For Mikey to admit he is a "snob" about anything is quite an admission and good for him to "open up" a bit !!
I don't think anyone here really knows what brand of beer I do drink and why would you care.
Yes--I'd prefer my brew from a bottle and no--
I do not drink from the bottle, but pour it into one of my favorite Chicago style schooners. If only a can is available--so be it ! Depending on the bar--I like cold draft.

...only the bar tender at Appleby's and myself...but I ain't talkin.

[Mister Bushice]

As a yout, I beer-bonged 64 ounces of suds with 2 shots of tequila added for a bonus in about 4 seconds. Good times.

Then again, by age 18, I had soundly defeated the reigning Oregon State University Beer Bong Champion(yeah, they apparently had some big event to determine their champion...fucking hicks). Ahhh, the Glory Days.

~ Bar Door opens

Everyone: NORM!!!!

[Dinsdale]

Cutting-edge smack there, Tard Twin.

[Paul's Tattered Asshole]

Is the term "shotgunning" a foreign concept in KC?

No, and neither is "emergency room".

Take a bottle opener and make a hole on the side of the can and lay the can its side, hole side up so as it doesn't spill. Lower your head and put your mouth over hole.

We used to put the hole in the bottom of the can, but a 16 oz. is as far as I ever went and trust me, that was far enough.

What beautiful memories for you, along with the smells of your childhood:

Cheez Whiz, fried bologna, Jack Daniels, Jack Daniels and puke, Jack Daniels, puke, and Cheez Whiz...........

[Wolfman]

hey CM !!
I forgot you still lurk around here--- I think Applebee's has a policy about bartenders revealing what people drink and if any skanks hang around !!

[Mikey]

hey CM !!
I forgot you still lurk around here--- I think Applebee's has a policy about bartenders revealing what people drink and if any skanks hang around !!

You and CM at the same bar...

...that must have upped the skank factor by at least 100% all by itself.

:wink:

[ChargerMike]

hey CM !!
I forgot you still lurk around here--- I think Applebee's has a policy about bartenders revealing what people drink and if any skanks hang around !!

You and CM at the same bar...

...that must have upped the skank factor by at least 100% all by itself.

:wink:

...when the skanks plopped down right across from us Wolfie bailed, leaving me helpless, and proving Mrs. O rules the roost in Ft. Myers.