Greg Oden

[Dinsdale]

Guns don't kill people. Greg Oden kills people.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Greg Oden allows to live.

Greg Oden does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Greg Oden is Pain.

There is no chin under Greg Oden's Beard. There is only another fist.

Greg Oden has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Greg Oden 3. Cancer

Greg Oden drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Greg Oden doesn't go hunting.... GREG ODEN GOES KILLING

[War Wagon]

Your worship of all things Oden has taken on an almost Nordic mythical quality.

Maybe we should just start calling him Thor.

[Smackie Chan]

GREG ODEN GOES KILLING

I'm sure he bagged himself a few Krauts during WWII. Props to the dude for returning to school at his advanced age. I'll bet his great-grandchildren are very proud.

[Dinsdale]

Maybe we should just start calling him Thor.

Not a bad idea...although we'll have to clear it with God and Greg Oden...but I repeat myself.

[Cornhusker]

Maybe we should just start calling him Thor.

Or DoucheBag

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I was in Italy for a couple of weeks and missed the Draft Lottery. Thank God Dins has supplied the board with 37 threads detailing the results of what transpired.


Every 10 years or so the Celtics get fucked out a franchise making player. I wonder who they'll get fucked out of in 2017... Oh well.


A new Boston Curse has been born....



Greg Oden, did in fact, build Rome in a day....

[Dinsdale]

Thank God Dins has supplied the board with 37 threads detailing the results of what transpired.

Only 37?

I've obviously been slacking.


And the Celts didn't get "fucked"...they attempted to fuck everyone else. RACK poetic justice -- the two teams that didn't intentionally tank games for ping pong balls, the two teams that fought hard until the last second of the 82nd game, out of respect to the paying customers...were rewarded for their efforts.

The greatest display of Lottery Justice since its inception.


But now it's gotten really funny -- The Celts organization, along with Logo West are now crying in their beer, and screaming from the mountaintops that the system needs fixing...which is odd, since I didn't hear them complaining last year, when the Blazers had the most balls in the hopper, and got the 4th pick for their effort(making it a much worse screwing than West's team suffered, statistically), and had to trade a former first-rounder to move up to #2(who Toronto should be fucking kicking themselves for letting Stretch slip to #2).


I don't think Celtsfan realizes how fucking hard we're laughing at them, as The Natural, Brandon ROY stood there holding up the Pinwheel logo while Danny "no-longer-a-U&Ler" Ainge wept. Making an Oregon boy and former Blazer our personal bitch has been refreshing so far.


How is that Sebastian Telfair for Brandon ROY trade working out for you, Boston? Actually, I hear the Celts are in the market for a new point gaurd. Ainge should give KP a call -- we're way deep at the point...maybe we can work out a trade? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I'm guessing the number for the Blazer office is on call-block on Ainge's phone.


The only hope for the Celts is if Bill Russell can still suit up...since they won't be getting his clone any time soon...but we will.

[Wolfman]

maybe Greg can hook up with some of his homies and
score a little blow and....

[Goober McTuber]

Your worship of all things Oden has taken on an almost Nordic mythical quality.

Maybe we should just start calling him Thor.

Or we could call him Onan, in honor of Dinsdale’s prodigious mental masturbation on this topic.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

How is that Sebastian Telfair for Brandon ROY trade working out for you, Boston?

I thought we already covered this? They wouldn't traded straight up for each other. Furthermore, the #7 pick the Celts traded away WAS NOT used to select Roy. He went 6th.

[Dinsdale]

They wouldn't traded straight up for each other. Furthermore, the #7 pick the Celts traded away WAS NOT used to select Roy. He went 6th.

Yes, I understand this...quite well.

It actually took monumental stupidity by two former Celtic players that day for the Zers to score the most versitile player in the draft, who will anchor championship teams for years to come.

I'm guessing that NBA owners aren't going to be in a big hurry to hire former Celts as GMs any time soon.


And #6 was there for #7 and a paltry-by-NBA-standards $1 million.

Nice work, Celtic geniuses.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Nice work, Celtic geniuses.

:sad:


I "stopped liking" the NBA around the same time I went to UConn and and "devoted my basketball heart" to my beloved Huskies. While I do think the game has turned to shit, my change in attitude coincided with the downfall of a once proud organization. I want to like the Celts. I want to like the game. But I just can't. Maybe I am a fair weather fan. Unlikely though. The Celts had a nice playoff run 5 years ago and I didn't watch one single minute. Okay, maybe about 10 minutes or so... or is that "physically impossible"?

[Dinsdale]

IThe Celts had a nice playoff run 5 years ago

Only due to the rapid decline of the East...which just got a whooooole bunch worse.

and I didn't watch one single minute.

I watched a bunch of it. Trust me, you didn't miss much. It was kinda pathetic watching a team that bad make it to the conference finals.


Didn't you clowns take Kenny Anderson off our hands, too? Thanks for that-btw.

[indyfrisco]

Heard on the radio that the 3 hour rain delay for the Indy 500 that simply showed rain hitting the pavement got the same ratings as the Spurs/Jazz games this weekend.

NBA has jumped the shark along with jumping the shark.

[Dinsdale]

NBA has jumped the shark along with jumping the shark.

What happened the last time the Association was in dire straights with a sinking ship on their hands, circa 1979?

I seem to recall two highly-touted college prospects going to traditional rivals, and completely revitalizing the NBA, each leading their teams to multiple championships.


Seeing a connection?

[Cuda]

A connection?

You mean the NBA & Organized Crime?

Please say you knew

[Dinsdale]

You mean the NBA & Organized Crime?

Blazerfan knows a thing or two about the link between the NBA and crime.

And that link is based mostly on bullshit.

Care to compare crime rates between the NBA and the NFL? Not much of a comparison, really.

Pacman Jones and Chris Henry have more arrests between them in the last two years than the entire NBA combined.

You were saying?

[Neely8]

NBA has jumped the shark along with jumping the shark.

What happened the last time the Association was in dire straights with a sinking ship on their hands, circa 1979?

I seem to recall two highly-touted college prospects going to traditional rivals, and completely revitalizing the NBA, each leading their teams to multiple championships.


Seeing a connection?

Will the Sonics be a "Traditional Rival" from Oklahoma City??

Oh and I have seen this before. Greg Oden's name was replaced by Chuck Norris.......

[Dinsdale]

Will the Sonics be a "Traditional Rival" from Oklahoma City??

Uhm...you don't really think the Supes are going anywhere, do you?

The second biggest sports bandwagonning town in the country just got a reason to jump on a bandwagon. Don't think for a second they won't climb aboard. What's been lost in those doom-and-gloom headlines is the fact local interests were talking about buying the team anyway.

But the Blazers and Supes have generally been each others' biggest rivals for about 35+ years, which makes a neat side story with the lottery.

Oh and I have seen this before. Greg Oden's name was replaced by Chuck Norris.......

Can't slip anything past you, can I?

[Bobby42]

Greg Oden took a piss and it became Lake Michigan.

Call to 911: "Greg Oden is climbing the Empire State Building..!! Again."

Greg Oden arrived in Iraq and that was it.

[KC Scott]

Greg Oden is no Bo Jackson

[Cuda]

You mean the NBA & Organized Crime?

Blazerfan knows a thing or two about the link between the NBA and crime.

And that link is based mostly on bullshit.

Care to compare crime rates between the NBA and the NFL? Not much of a comparison, really.

Pacman Jones and Chris Henry have more arrests between them in the last two years than the entire NBA combined.

You were saying?

Who's talking about the players? I'm talking about the League

[titlover]

thanks for stealing my schtick.

~ Chuck Norris

[Wolfman]

show me his NCAA Championship !!

[rozy]

I'd laugh like a mofo if the Blazers actually took the best player in the draft and passed on Sam Bowie part Deaux. Can you imagine if Garnett could hit 3's? His initials might be K.D. instead...

not that a Houstonian should be commenting on blown first draft picks

[War Wagon]

Woh, roz.

Dins could spin off into some alternate universe if that were to happen, and it wouldn't be pretty.

What's that you say? Dins is already in an alternate universe?

Yes, that's a given.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

But the Blazers and Supes have generally been each others' biggest rivals for about 35+ years, which makes a neat side story with the lottery.

That's neato... neither franchise has been relevant since the Disco Era. So who gives a flying fuck?


Furthermore... Isn't the most popular basketball player in Seattle?

[Dinsdale]

That's neato... neither franchise has been relevant since the Disco Era.

Both franchises have seen a finals appearance more recently than Boston, eh?


Seems to me, both teams became quite "relevant" about a week ago. Ultra-relevant, according to the Steven A Smiths and Skip Baylesses of the world.


The world is our oyster, and the NBA is our bitch.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Both franchises have seen a finals appearance more recently than Boston, eh?

Wow... 2nd place a few times. In the 90s. There's something to hang your hat on. Props on your loser's mentality.


Did you know Danny Almonte... I mean... Greg Olden was still in Pre-School the last time either team won a Championship?

[Dinsdale]

Greg Olden was still in Pre-School the last time either team won a Championship?

Does "either" include the Cubs? He was their 1B, IIRC.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Does "either" include the Cubs? He was their 1B, IIRC.

Tinkers to Evers to Olden. I remember it like it was yesterday...

[Dinsdale]

I'd laugh like a mofo if the Blazers actually took the best player in the draft and passed on Sam Bowie part Deaux. Can you imagine if Garnett could hit 3's? His initials might be K.D. instead...

Hmmm....tough call...


Since 6-9 slasher/ballhog/shoots-too-much guys don't come around very often...


Hmmm...yeah, maybe you're right...maybe we should take the dude who did little-to-nothing on defense, pretty much sucked at half court sets, and had his balls shrivel up like they'd been in Mikey's spa for a week "when the games mattered"...who had how many assists in the tourney...he finished up with what...1?


Or, should we take the once-in-a-decade skillset, who was fairly dominant during his freshman campaign...which he played with his left hand? The dude who found an extra gear, and put his team on his massive shoulders when his teammates struggled?


Yeah, pretty tough call.


There's this other guy who shoots a high FG %, throws up 23 points a game and 10 boards, plays shitty defense, and refuses to pass the ball...we call him "Zach Randolph"...and he's on the block. Yeah, we can hardly wait to replace that.


Of course...Zach has thrown up more assists in a game that Durant did in his entire postseason career...there is that. And he still is an absolute death sentence on offense.

[titlover]

thanks for stealing my schtick.

~ Chuck Norris

Wow

Look at the big shit for brains on titlover

Oh and I have seen this before. Greg Oden's name was replaced by Chuck Norris.......

Can't slip anything past you, can I?

You should be expecting a devastating roundhouse kick from Greg Oden any minute now for going glass dick AND Marcus Allen in one swing.

i just threw out my thoughts. i wasn't reading the whole fuckign thread to see if it was already mentioned. sorry i didn't care enough.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Waaaaaait just a god DAMN second. THOSE are Chuck Norris jokes.

[Dinsdale]

So, after listening to a live report from the first full-on predraft workouts, with input from both Blazer management and those of many other teams...


Those of you on Durant's jock...don't quit your day job to chase your dream of being an NBA GM.


Every evaluator(you know, those guys with 6-figure salaries that deal with that sort of thing day in, day out) pretty much just said that Oden is the sickest thing they've ever seen. Not one of them could name a big man with anywhere near the fluidity, and with the skillset Oldman has.

As far as the "Durant will be a better player"....this now gets howls of laughter from NBA evaluators.


Up until now, he's been referred to a "once in a decade player." The evaluators quickly corrected themselves...he's a once-every-25-years player, bordering on once in a lifetime.


So, either the rest of the NBA is in seriously deep shit, or we're about to witness the biggest bust in the history of any sport.

I'll go with the former.


Although the Blazers are willing to make one trade for him. Kinda doubt Cleveland is going to bite, though.

[Raydah James]

But the Blazers and Supes have generally been each others' biggest rivals for about 35+ years, which makes a neat side story with the lottery.

That's neato... neither franchise has been relevant since the Disco Era. So who gives a flying fuck?


Furthermore... Isn't the most popular basketball player in Seattle?

Wow... 2nd place a few times. In the 90s. There's something to hang your hat on. Props on your loser's mentality

Thats gonna leave a mark.








RACK Ucant on the well laid out blast of truth being thrown down.

[rozy]

Although the Blazers are willing to make one trade for him. Kinda doubt Cleveland is going to bite, though.

And I am immensely enjoying the multi-forum troll-job. Keep up the great work, Raydah Dins.

[War Wagon]

Up until now, he's been referred to a "once in a decade player." The evaluators quickly corrected themselves...he's a once-every-25-years player, bordering on once in a lifetime.

Right.

Link to these evaluations? Nevermind, let's just put him in the HOF now and save him all the trouble of actually having a career. He is injury prone, afterall.

Seriously Dins, when I see Oldman at 19 going on 31, I see a body that's going to be unable to withstand the rigors of an 82 game season, not to mention any playoff games. While I realize you're punch drunk with glee and and anticipation, don't you think it's a bit pre-mature to start hoisting banners and staging parades?

Although the Blazers are willing to make one trade for him. Kinda doubt Cleveland is going to bite, though.

The NBA is Lebron's bitch.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Oden's an absolute beast. If he stays healthy, I don't see any reason he won't turn out to be one of the league's better centers. Today the league is full of all these forward/center hybrids who are much better scorers than they are defenders. Oden is going to (help) bring the true center position back with his sheer size and defensive play/presence.

[War Wagon]

I don't see any reason he won't turn out to be one of the league's better centers.

Whatcha' mean 'better centers', dawg? I can't stop laughing over here. Oldman is going to be the second coming of Chamberlain, Russell, and Jabbar. Just wipe those names off the books right now because NBA talent evaluators (you know, those folks who are paid six figures to deal with that sorta' thing) say that he's a "once in a lifetime" player.

Therefore, I proclaim him to be: The Greatest Player Ever! before he even plays one minute in the NBA.

~Dins