T1B

Posted: **Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:23 pm**

I've been doing some landscaping. I found out that when laying concrete pavers it's advisable to put a solid row of pavers on the edge to give a more finished look. When using rectangular pavers you can lay them two ways. Side by side or end to end.

The side by side method is called a Soldier course. They look like soldiers standing shoulder to shoulder at attention.

The nose to ass, nose to ass, nose to ass method is known as a Sailor course. That cracks me up. Which reminds me of a joke. Why do they use powdered soap in Navy showers? Because it's harder to pick up.

Posted: **Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:54 pm**

The side by side method is called a Ribbon course

End to end is called a Running Bond

In paving you also have a basket weave, herringbone and various other patterns.

Soldier, Sailor, Roll-Lock as well as Stretcher are terms that are used in masonry units layed with mortar.

A Soldier is a brick layed on end that stands 8" tall and is 3" wide and 4 " deep

A sailor is 3 inches tall and 8 inches long 4 inches deep

A Roll-Lock is a Brick layed with it's end exposed 3" wide, 4 "high 8 inches deep.

A Stretcher is a brick layed sideways 4' tall 8 " long and 3" deep

Posted: **Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:57 pm**

^^^^^^^
the title conjured up images like this !

Posted: **Sat Jun 16, 2007 11:43 pm**

Rootbeer wrote:The nose to ass, nose to ass, nose to ass method is known as a Sailor course.

Yeah, thanks, Einstein. No Shit.
sin,

Posted: **Sun Jun 17, 2007 3:20 am**

Rootbeer wrote: The nose to ass, nose to ass, nose to ass method is known as a Sailor course.

In the Air Force they called it heel to toe, which is yet another reason I'm glad I didn't serve in the Navy. Poor swabs.

[shudder]Can you imagine serving on a nuclear submarine?[/shudder]

"Listen up, boys. We're going on a 6 month tour of duty where we'll be submerged at 1000 ft below sea level for pretty much the duration. Sounds like fun, eh? Sunshine and fresh air are really over rated, anyway. So is having contact with the opposite sex. You're going to love it."

Posted: **Sun Jun 17, 2007 6:33 am**

Posted: **Sun Jun 17, 2007 6:56 am**

RadioFan wrote:

You're thinking Dinsdale?

If I ever meet you we will fight, Don't be dissin my knowledge of all that is brick.

Posted: **Sun Jun 17, 2007 7:24 am**

Y2 knows the lingo, and more important, he knows the work. I spent years spec'ing masonry and talking with folks on the job so I could do it right. I can't count the times I had a client come in and want a huge brick pillar and the first thing I did was talk to a mason and say...hey, can you build this if I draw it up? All the drawings in the world are for shit if they can't be built. And I'm not going to fight anyone over it, even though I kind of miss fighting. So, Y2, I think this is your fight to take up, such as it is. I can't imagine that many folks would get spun up about brick laying. :)

Posted: **Sun Jun 17, 2007 12:22 pm**

the proper squid term is "nuts to buts", btw.

nose to ass seems more like a dog thing.

Posted: **Sun Jun 17, 2007 12:45 pm**

nose to ass seems more like a dog thing.

9:07 pm CST, bitch.

Posted: **Sun Jun 17, 2007 3:52 pm**

smackaholic wrote:the proper squid term is "nuts to buts", btw.

nose to ass seems more like a dog thing.

Preguntele a RadioFan acerca de eso.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:31 am**

Y2K wrote:The side by side method is called a Ribbon course

End to end is called a Running Bond

In paving you also have a basket weave, herringbone and various other patterns.

Soldier, Sailor, Roll-Lock as well as Stretcher are terms that are used in masonry units layed with mortar.

A Soldier is a brick layed on end that stands 8" tall and is 3" wide and 4 " deep

A sailor is 3 inches tall and 8 inches long 4 inches deep

A Roll-Lock is a Brick layed with it's end exposed 3" wide, 4 "high 8 inches deep.

A Stretcher is a brick layed sideways 4' tall 8 " long and 3" deep

Well howdy doody and sheeoot, Trigger! Y2K done made hisself the resident exfart on segmental paving. We'll have hustle our bustle and inform the Interlocking Concrete Pavement Institute that HE knows more about the industry than they do. Although the ICPI publish the ONLY exclusively segmental paver magazine in the country, they obviously know jack shit about it. I'll inform them immediately that even though they have over 800 members and are "considered around the world as the leader in development and dissemination of technical information for design professionals and contractors", they're actually a pile of bungling dipshits who wouldn't know bedding sand from pit run. Y2K, while I dismantle the outdated and soon to be debunked ICPI why don't you start your own paver institute and raise awareness in the segmental paving industry to the FACT that your anecdotal swiss cheese memory is more accurate than the ICPI staff who have nearly 200 years of combined experience. OR you could sit back down on your flat, ever widening fart machine and play off a smooth "ugh *cough* yeah well I actually knew that I was just testing you" routine. You have that gig down to a science some people would pay to learn(I'm looking at you, JTR).
While you summon the courage to eat shit here are some ICPI Tech Specs for you to ignore

Stick to masonry and laying extra chromozomes, dickwad.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:44 am**

A specific amount Mexicans needed per square ft to do mindless shit like Interlocking Paving, either that or you use a machine. That's as expert as you need to get Mr. Wizard.

Pound Ground Flat and Hard
Put Pavers on Ground tight together in pattern
Cut edges to fit.

You could have saved a lot of time in your quest to look smart by going to someone who actually knows a great reason to hire Mexicans.

You need to study up on Tree Removal and Lawn Maintainance next.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 5:26 am**

Nice concession speech, King of Nothing.

Put a paver path or driveway together using your method and it'll look like crap in two years. I won't bother to tell you any of the dozen or so vital steps you missed because it doesn't matter. If you need that type of work done you'll hire some spics to scatter bricks on the "hard ground". Then a few years later you'll call a real installer to redo it. I know a guy whose entire patio is sliding away like a cake in the rain because the installer did the job the way Home Depot teaches. You probably learned the same way. This installer had a college degree in Landscape Horticulture and he still munsoned the job big time. Now the homeowner's $12,000 paver patio is going to cost him an additional $25,000. That's why the ICPI was formed. Because dipshits like Y2K talk a big game and throw out a few misused glossary terms to get contracts without knowing more than three steps in an ~11 step process.

Since you're so smart maybe you'll regale us with some landscaping trivia.

What is the minimum grade for a body of pavers?
What is the maximum grade?
What is the minimum base depth for a residential walkway, commercial walkway, and residential driveway?
If your base is 8" deep and your paver body is 12' x 12' what is your minimum base overrun?
What is the recommended method for keeping native soil and base material from mixing over time?
How many mexicans does it take to make a butt-ugly firepit?

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:02 am**

Y2K wrote: Pound Ground Flat and Hard
Put Pavers on Ground tight together in pattern
Cut edges to fit.

I would have gone with "run the compactor over laid pavers" as a final step, but that's just me.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:27 am**

Mikey wrote:
smackaholic wrote:the proper squid term is "nuts to buts", btw.

nose to ass seems more like a dog thing.
Preguntele a RadioFan acerca de eso.

Nah, mis perras son tranquilos. Además, Y2K tiene experiencia que no quiero, en así.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:33 am**

OK...if you see some need to show your knowledge of Spanish by typing it on an English-speaking board...

You are officially a major fucking dork. No ifs, ans, or buts...not up for negotiaiton.

No, but really...props on being so way cool that you're part of a secret society...the Spanish Speakers. I mean, it's not like they can train any old Mexican to do that job, or anything.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:02 pm**

Dins, you left out the part about drilling holes through the pavers and anchoring them with square head screws afterwards.

As for what sort of base you need, I would guess in socal with it's frost depth of approximately...uhh....wtf is frost , dude? I would say that a few inches of well beaten down stone dust atop stable ground would do it.

I ain't in the trade like y2k or rootgooglebeer, but, that is my unedumacted guess.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:43 pm**

Rootbeer wrote:
Y2K wrote:The side by side method is called a Ribbon course

End to end is called a Running Bond

In paving you also have a basket weave, herringbone and various other patterns.

Soldier, Sailor, Roll-Lock as well as Stretcher are terms that are used in masonry units layed with mortar.

A Soldier is a brick layed on end that stands 8" tall and is 3" wide and 4 " deep

A sailor is 3 inches tall and 8 inches long 4 inches deep

A Roll-Lock is a Brick layed with it's end exposed 3" wide, 4 "high 8 inches deep.

A Stretcher is a brick layed sideways 4' tall 8 " long and 3" deep
Well howdy doody and sheeoot, Trigger! Y2K done made hisself the resident exfart on segmental paving. We'll have hustle our bustle and inform the Interlocking Concrete Pavement Institute that HE knows more about the industry than they do. Although the ICPI publish the ONLY exclusively segmental paver magazine in the country, they obviously know jack shit about it. I'll inform them immediately that even though they have over 800 members and are "considered around the world as the leader in development and dissemination of technical information for design professionals and contractors", they're actually a pile of bungling dipshits who wouldn't know bedding sand from pit run. Y2K, while I dismantle the outdated and soon to be debunked ICPI why don't you start your own paver institute and raise awareness in the segmental paving industry to the FACT that your anecdotal swiss cheese memory is more accurate than the ICPI staff who have nearly 200 years of combined experience. OR you could sit back down on your flat, ever widening fart machine and play off a smooth "ugh *cough* yeah well I actually knew that I was just testing you" routine. You have that gig down to a science some people would pay to learn(I'm looking at you, JTR).
While you summon the courage to eat shit here are some ICPI Tech Specs for you to ignore

Stick to masonry and laying extra chromozomes, dickwad.

You could just as easily have posted this under your Dinsdale nic, you know.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:32 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:

You could just as easily have posted this under your Dinsdale nic, you know.

And remove your confusion? What would I do that for?

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:42 pm**

Rootbeer is Otis.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:57 pm**

rozy wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:

You could just as easily have posted this under your Dinsdale nic, you know.
And remove your confusion? What would I do that for?

Sorry. Absolutely no one is going to believe that you are smart enough to have composed that.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:10 pm**

Goober McTuber wrote:
rozy wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:

You could just as easily have posted this under your Dinsdale nic, you know.
And remove your confusion? What would I do that for?

Sorry. Absolutely no one is going to believe that you are smart enough to have composed that.

Yet, bright enough to have quoted the important part. And far fewer are going to believe that I CARED enough to have composed that.
Yet, you do for some reason...

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:21 pm**

rozy, who are The Hoppers?

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:23 pm**

I take it Rootbeer thinks I give a shit about his silly fasination with Interlock paving and am ready to play his stupid game.

Good call Dins, I forgot the compaction at the end.

Maybe I can have the Basalite Rep stop in and PM all kinds of goodies to Rootbeer to have an orgasm over, you know... the specs and all the engineering paperwork we throw away after the trade shows only to keep the decent swag?

If it's got an ICBO stamp of approval that's all I need to know.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 2:41 pm**

rozy wrote:Yet, bright enough to have quoted the important part.

The important part? There was an important part?

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:10 pm**

Y2K wrote:Good call Dins, I forgot the compaction at the end.

No prob. Do me a favor though, and don't tell Goobs I just helped out a professional with a step he forgot...his head might explode.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:19 pm**

Rootbeer wrote: Well howdy doody and sheeoot, Trigger! Y2K done made hisself the resident exfart on segmental paving.

Ummm, actually he does know what he's talking about. He isn't going into great detail what the steps are or whatever. He just does it. I've seen his private and also commercial masonry work and wouldn't question his knowledge. Then again, you don't question Joseph Smith's knowledge for some odd reason.

Mormonism - the religion we love to laugh at

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 3:31 pm**

Dinsdale wrote:Do me a favor though, and don't tell Goobs I just helped out a professional with a step he forgot...

Of course you did. Because that is just how you roll:

http://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewto ... ht=#435656

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 5:23 pm**

AP,

You have to look at it in the proper perspective,
Granted that Rootbeer may be licensed to blow smoke up someone's ass in some Interweb Fantastical Paving Scenario...

I just have this State License to install it for the Public and somehow I ended up on some stupid local Recommended Contractors list.

You know...
Licensed, Bonded, Insured, Guaranteed

All that unimportant stuff......

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 5:38 pm**

Oft Overheard in Fresno wrote:AP,

You have to look at it in the proper perspective

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:43 pm**

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:02 pm**

Dinsdale wrote:OK...if you see some need to show your knowledge of Spanish by typing it on an English-speaking board...

You are officially a major fucking dork. No ifs, ans, or buts...not up for negotiaiton.

Sei ruhig, arschloch. Die, die können, macht es, die, die nicht können, saugen sie.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:09 pm**

Verpiß dich

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:12 pm**

RadioFan wrote:
Mikey wrote:
Preguntele a RadioFan acerca de eso.
Nah, mis perras son tranquilos. Además, Y2K tiene experiencia que no quiero, en así.

Translation:

Mikey: "Did you really get preggers taking it in the ass, RadioFan?"

RadioFan:" No, but I'll use any excuse to down some valium & bone the dog... which reminds me; I'd sure like to experience Y2K's incomparable ass"

You're not fooling anyone, Fuckface

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:23 pm**

Stick to pasting in someone else's material...really.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:24 pm**

Go wipe your ass

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:27 pm**

With you around, what's the point? You'll have it scrubbed clean in a jiffy

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:28 pm**

PSUFAN wrote:Verpiß dich

Dass sagst du jetzt, aber am letzten Abend als du ein weisser Bart hatte, sagst du "Bitte, spielt mich wie einen rostiges Trombone!"

Posted: **Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:04 am**

No Comedy in Landscaping thread could be complete without "an oxidized trombone."

T1B

Comedy in landscaping

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