sorry, my photoshop skills aren’t the best. my greatest achievement was for an audience of namibians who’d never heard of photo editing, when i pasted my roommate’s head to my girlfriend’s body and another teacher had to ask where he borrowed breasts from:
anyhow, i’ll enter the fray.
88 wrote:While it is true that I don't like Michigan's football team, coaching staff and most of their fans, I simply can't bring myself to kick a program when its down.
i don't know why 88's talking about umich's recent run through the doldrums. although brilliant isn't a word i'd use to describe the last six years of michigan football, this season will mark our fourth rose bowl in the last five years. it's not quite the same accomplishment as it would've been ten years ago, but it's still a hell of a lot better than the recent osu nadir when this guy had the keys to the car, so to say:
and if the best smack i can find from an osu fan is a couple photos of random scoreboards, then i'll answer in kind:
head-to-head SCOREBOARD:
big ten championships SCOREBOARD:
the next best smack i've found is this:
buckeye_in_sc wrote:fuck you guys...the Vest owns LLLLLoyd and he'll make it 6-1 vs that gargamel look a like
so basically jim tressel is a cute, little, non-threatening avuncular guy with gray hair and glasses who'd sell lemonade to crippled children below cost if he had the time, but then he dons his vest and lloyd starts shaking even before he's progressed into the later stages of parkinson's. that's cool, he's earned his rep. at first he was just some small-time coach in over his head who stole a victory at michigan stadium, which was no big deal considering we'd lost twice in the previous 13 years; and then he won again, but that was easy to write off since we were playing the eventual national champion on the road; but since then he's proved more than a formidable opponent. he's actually quite intimidating, which no doubt explains the pavlonian tendency for anyone associated with michigan football - coach, player, fan - to shit his/her pants whenever someone mentions the vest.
the only flank tressel hasn't covered in regards to michigan is that we're only conditioned to fear a scarlet or gray sweater vest. that coupled with hubris will be our salvation. to wit: we see this and....
ohmyfuckingjesusmakethepainstopjustnamethescoreandletusleavewiththeuseofourlegs...
but tressel's had such an easy time with us so far that he's begun to take his preparation for granted. part of dominating michigan has been the image he projects. just when we start to feel we're turning the corner and might possibly hold on to a 4th quarter lead, he pulls out the vest and we scurry back to the shadows. but lately he's been a bit cocky, literally and figuratively. here's tressel after last year's game:
and his response to michigan's first two games of the year:
here he is out for dinner the night before the illini game. you can tell from his grin and the score to the game that he was already anticipating a good asswhooping of michigan:
here's where he takes his wholesome act out on the recruiting trail to some po'dunk cornhole of a shite small town in ass cack ohio. i've been there, and it smells like vaseline:
this is the vest simultaneously looking the other way and laughing at all of college football [except usc] while his players buy hookers, smuggle guns, and "do their homework." the deal with the devil explains his immediate success as well as his neck's extreme range of motion:
and we all undoubtedly know that osu wasn't a national player until tressel started culling sec territory for players that could run faster than the 8.4 we big ten honks are used to:
and whoever says homos don't recruit doesn't watch osu football. not only did tressel convince troy smith to come beat michigan 844 times, he also recruited him into a black leather vest:
unfortunately for osu fans, last year was the end of this bit of a run you've had. even tressel understood this as he tossed his boyfriend onto the back of his harley and rode off into the metaphorical sunset:
obviously lloyd doesn't adjust well, but the vest's been demystified for even an old guy resistant to change. michigan wins this one going away.
