T1B

This Rant is 35 years in the making.

I absolutely, positively, unequivocally hate the Big Eleven.

What a bag of suck.

Far-and-away the most-perennially-over-rated conference in America. And that's sayin' something, 'cuz the Pac finishes a close second. 'Least they play entertaining football out west.

And to this day, I'm still trying to figure out why I'm supposed to care.

The Eleven? Just take a look at last year: Why, locally, the "Big Ten Network" treated us to such compelling games as Illinois-Iowa (10-6); Michigan-Penn St. (14-9); and Ohio St.-Michigan (14-3).

Now that's "Big Time College Football".

The Flyover could give a flying rat's ass about Big Eleven football, 'less we're fortunate enough to draw one of their over-rated Loser teams in a bowl game and are most-assuredly guaranteed a post-season victory. And Kansas City is NOT a Big Eleven town. Never has been. Short of a Mizzou leap to the Big Eleven (ain't never gonna happen, BtH), it never will be.

Yet the Networks continue to pump a steady diet of Eleven-games into our market. Like anybody here actually cares what happens in Madison or Ann Arbor.

We don't. Please die, already.

Apparently, Big Ten Network and east-coast execs decided long ago that the folks in the Near-West Flyover were One-and-the-Same with the folks in the Great Lakes States. Nothing could be further from the truth. But why let reality stand in the way of perception? Surely, the good folks of the western Midwest will be pleased to have their football Saturday's dominated by the likes of the Old Oaken Bucket, Little Brown Jug, and Paul Bunyan's Axe anyway.

Meanwhile, historically, local games of interest such as KU-K-State, Colorado-Nebraska, and OU-OK State were reduced to radio updates along the Mizzou sports network – 'cuz Tiger games weren't televised locally here either!

Memo to the East Coast and BTN: We. Flat. Out. Don't. Care.

We really could give a fuck that you Losers jam 110,000 in the Big House or 87,000 into Beaver Stadium or the Horseshoe. All that does is tell the Near-West that you drunken Losers have nothing better to do on a football Saturday than to root on your over-hyped and over-rated team to crush another over-hyped and over-rated team from your conference.

The Big Eleven sucks. And your record more than proves it:

Since the inception of the BCS: Bowl Results 1998-2007
SEC 44-30
Big 12 33-32
PAC 10 20-20
Big East 19-18
BIG 10 28-38
ACC 22-30

BCS Games only
SEC 11-4 4 National Championships
PAC 10 8-4 1 National Championship
Big East 6-4 1 National Champonship
Big 10 8-8 1 National Championship
Big 12 6-8 2 National Championships
ACC 1-9 1 National Championship
http://boards.espn.go.com/boards/mb/mb? ... id=2179013" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

No, seriously: Tell us how good you are.

Q: How do you spot a B12 Fan in the crowd?

A: He's the one who posts statistics that show PAC superiority in a thread in which he bashes the PAC.


Statistically, the 11 was the worst BCS conference. And statistically, the B12 finished BEHIND the PAC10.

But hey, don't let facts stand in the way of... whatever it was you were babbling about.


And as far as the TV programming -- gee, silly me. Here I was thinking I was a CFB fan or something, and actually enjoy watching games from every conference. Because it's not like one of the teams in the BCS Championship Game was from the B11, or anything. How many teams did the B12 have in that game, anyway?

get over yourself Dins. you're responding to a missouri fan in blank conference terms. surely you've observed how Mizzou fan wins 11 games, starts Chase Daniel at QB, and has invented the game of college football.

King Crimson wrote:get over yourself Dins. you're responding to a missouri fan in blank conference terms. surely you've observed how Mizzou fan wins 11 games, starts Chase Daniel at QB, and has invented the game of college football.

You sir, are correct, sir.


In the future, I'll attempt to distinguish Mizzou fan and Kansas "fan" from the rest of the B12.

OU, Tex, Husker, and even Buff fans, while I may have a beef with them just on general principle, didn't deserve to be lumped in with the wearing-their-ass-for-a-hat drooler that is Mizzou and/or Kansas fan.


You gotta admit -- Mizzou fan running crap on tOSU, UM, and PSU fan about their "sucky football" is pretty sweet.

Dinsdale wrote:Q: How do you spot a B12 Fan in the crowd?

A: He's the one who posts statistics that show PAC superiority in a thread in which he bashes the PAC.

Statistically, the 11 was the worst BCS conference. And statistically, the B12 finished BEHIND the PAC10.

Sorry the title of the thread defeated you, Dins.

Bash the Pac?

Nope.

Over-rated? You bet. See the University of the Greatest Team in College Football History vs. Vince Young and the lowly Texas Longhorns circa January 2006.

But hey, don't let facts stand in the way of... whatever it was you were babbling about.

Oh, you mean like trying to spin a home-loss to a mediocre .500 team into justifying a BCS berth for my team? Ponderous, Dins....

And as far as the TV programming -- gee, silly me. Here I was thinking I was a CFB fan or something, and actually enjoy watching games from every conference.

Silly you, indeed. Pray spare us the redundancy. As for your viewing habits... Sorry, I can live without Northwestern-Indiana. BTW: Replays of Big Eleven games have been known to force confessions from al Quaida terrorists when waterboarding fails. Tell me you knew.

Because it's not like one of the teams in the BCS Championship Game was from the B11, or anything. How many teams did the B12 have in that game, anyway?

Elementary, had OU not peed down its leg in Lubbock and Boulder this season. Better question: How many teams from the Pac finished in the Top 10?

King Crimson wrote:get over yourself Dins. you're responding to a missouri fan in blank conference terms. surely you've observed how Mizzou fan wins 11 games, starts Chase Daniel at QB, and has invented the game of college football.

That would be 12 wins, Sparky, but why let ignorance stand in the way of yet another bad post?

Point taken, King. Not only does Mizzou need to win the XII Conference Championship, they need to figure out a way to yack up four straight BCS bowl games to even remain in the conversation with OU. Got it.

King Crimson wrote: surely you've observed how Mizzou fan wins 11 games...

Mizzou, not the fans, won 12 games. I realize it's tough for Sooner fan to count past 10 without taking off their shoes... those that have shoes that is, but c'mon.

How many did OU win? No, you don't have to buy a new pair of shoes, since you already have them off.

Dinsdale wrote:You gotta admit -- Mizzou fan running crap on tOSU, UM, and PSU fan about their "sucky football" is pretty sweet.

Dumbass. MizzouFan is running crap on their boring, unimaginative football. I'll leave the "sucky" descriptive for Pac apologists bent on spinning a bad home loss to a .500 team into BCS berth....

Truman wrote:Over-rated? You bet. See the University of the Greatest Team in College Football History vs. Vince Young and the lowly Texas Longhorns circa January 2006.

Dear god -- you didn't just try to cite one game to offset decades and decades and decades of precedent, did you?

Oh, you mean like trying to spin a home-loss to a mediocre .500 team into justifying a BCS berth for my team? Ponderous, Dins....

Then again, citing one game in hundreds was probably better than telling a bald faced lie.

You really are trying to hang your hat on that?

Uhm... maybe you should go reread that thread... maybew have a grown-up help you with the big words.


http://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewto ... =5&t=25794" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


OK, now that you've had a chance to review, are you willing to retract your OUTRIGHT LIES?

I made NO justification that my team should get a BCS berth based on the Kal game.

Do you really need help understanding why you made a fool out of yourself?

Does "Well, your a loss to a team is judged by how that team finished the season, whereas the loss of my team should be judged by where that team was ranked AT THE TIME THEY BEAT US!!!"


Ringing a bell, NotTrueMan?


So again -- show me where I made any such just "justification."

I'll save you the time -- I did no such thing, and you saying it until you're blue in the face doesn't change that.


See, I used this literary technique known as an "analogy." I'm sorry that was so far over your (and Whitey's) head. I'll make sure and try to communicate on a very rudimentary level when dealing with Mizzou or Kansas fan in the future... smoke signals or drums, maybe.

But since you're really fucking clueless, I'll expound -- in the thread in question, I was mocking you for making one of the more stupid statements in regards to BCS berths I've ever heard... seriously. What the hell is wrong with you? If you got liquored up and posted something dumb -- no problem, man. Just say something to the æffect of "wow, I got really liquored up and posted something stupid. BWA!" Then we could have a good laugh together, and move on.


But not you...


You actually tried to stick-to-the-bitter-end with "you lost to a 6-6 team, but the team that beat Mizzou was #Whatever AT THE TIME, therefore they get the nod."


Yes, that really IS what you implied... repeatedly. Again, all the lies in the world don't change that.

Sorry, I can live without Northwestern-Indiana.

Oh. I guess I didn't realize the pre-2007 version of Mizzou/Kansas was so much more enthralling.

Truman wrote:I'll leave the "sucky" descriptive for Pac apologists bent on spinning a bad home loss to a .500 team into BCS berth....

Dude, can you save us both some time and answer a question for me?


How many times do you think you need to repeat this LIE (already disproven) before you think anyone will believe you?

I mean, your lie is chronicled in that very thread you're referring to, so I was just kinda wondering how many times you were going to repeat it.


Fuck. MClub even pointed out what a dumbfuck you were (without actually pointing fingers), yet you still thought it wise to keep spouting the same horseshit... priceless.


The again... you offered up a whole freaking bunch of commentary -- immediately before you freely admitted to not following, watching, or having any interest in the B11... not sure how you thought that was a particulary clever tack, but "Truman" and "clever" don't seem to mesh very often.

BTW -- a quick looksy through the bowl results leads me to believe the B12 was 1-1 against the B11.


I can see where you get this impression of your sheer dominance...


Because you ain't none too bright... that's where it comes from.

War Wagon wrote:

King Crimson wrote: surely you've observed how Mizzou fan wins 11 games...

Mizzou, not the fans, won 12 games. I realize it's tough for Sooner fan to count past 10 without taking off their shoes... those that have shoes that is, but c'mon.

How many did OU win? No, you don't have to buy a new pair of shoes, since you already have them off.

i love it when MU fan tries go "hillbilly" on OU.

shoes, who needs em?

edit: how many times did Mizzou beat OU in football this year?

end of conversation. same argument you make against KU, no?

King Crimson wrote:edit: how many times did Mizzou beat OU in football this year?

Yeah, well you're just jealous, hillbilly... I thought there were no hills to speak of in Oklahoma, or not in the sense that the rest of the country thinks of "hills"? Oh well, getting their ass kicked twice by the team that actually won the conference isn't slowing them down on the football shit-talk, so I don't see why they'd let a lack of hills make them shy away from hillbilly-smack.


Adel, though a moron, at least usually has a somewhat reasonable view of Mizzou football, and generally keeps us informed on the ins and outs of the program. The rest of these Tiger-come-lately myopians who don't seem to know too much about BTPCFB... hard to deal with.

King Crimson wrote: edit: how many times did Mizzou beat OU in football this year?

end of conversation. same argument you make against KU, no?

Yeah.

Got a JayHawk truck driver who delivers sundry steel products at my plant and we've been going round and round for years.

When I told him that the final AP poll had Mizzou at #4 and KU at #7, he wanted to start talking about B-Ball.

Dinsdale wrote:The rest of these Tiger-come-lately...

I'll thank you not to refer to my badass self as a "Tiger-come-lately" fan of Mighty Mizzou.

Dumbfuck.

War Wagon wrote:When I told him that the final AP poll had Mizzou at #4 and KU at #7, he wanted to start talking about B-Ball.

Of course, if he wasn't a fan of Kansas or Mizzou, he might have had enough knowledge of the current CFB situation to point out that Kansas finished several spots ahead of Mizzou in at least one of the computer polls... but that would require having some sort of crap of knowledge of the game beyond "B-b-b-b-but... we won some games!"

War Wagon wrote:

Dinsdale wrote:The rest of these Tiger-come-lately...

I'll thank you not to refer to my badass self as a "Tiger-come-lately" fan of Mighty Mizzou.

Dumbfuck.

OK. Thanks for the correction, and I'll keep it straight.

From here on, I'll honor you're request and refer to you merely as "dumbfuck."

Dinsdale wrote:

Truman wrote:Over-rated? You bet. See the University of the Greatest Team in College Football History vs. Vince Young and the lowly Texas Longhorns circa January 2006.

Dear god -- you didn't just try to cite one game to offset decades and decades and decades of precedent, did you?

Offset decades of precedent? I thought we already established the Pac was over-rated...

[]Then again, citing one game in hundreds was probably better than telling a bald faced lie.

You really are trying to hang your hat on that?

Uhm... maybe you should go reread that thread... maybew have a grown-up help you with the big words.

http://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewto ... =5&t=25794" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

OK, now that you've had a chance to review, are you willing to retract your OUTRIGHT LIES?

I made NO justification that my team should get a BCS berth based on the Kal game.

Oh, not in the particular thread you cited. But you managed to plead your case nicely in others.

Do you really need help understanding why you made a fool out of yourself?

Does "Well, your a loss to a team is judged by how that team finished the season, whereas the loss of my team should be judged by where that team was ranked AT THE TIME THEY BEAT US!!!"

Ringing a bell, NotTrueMan?

So again -- show me where I made any such just "justification."

I'll save you the time -- I did no such thing, and you saying it until you're blue in the face doesn't change that.

See, I used this literary technique known as an "analogy." I'm sorry that was so far over your (and Whitey's) head. I'll make sure and try to communicate on a very rudimentary level when dealing with Mizzou or Kansas fan in the future... smoke signals or drums, maybe.

But since you're really fucking clueless, I'll expound -- in the thread in question, I was mocking you for making one of the more stupid statements in regards to BCS berths I've ever heard... seriously. What the hell is wrong with you? If you got liquored up and posted something dumb -- no problem, man. Just say something to the æffect of "wow, I got really liquored up and posted something stupid. BWA!" Then we could have a good laugh together, and move on.

But not you...

You actually tried to stick-to-the-bitter-end with "you lost to a 6-6 team, but the team that beat Mizzou was #Whatever AT THE TIME, therefore they get the nod."

Yes, that really IS what you implied... repeatedly. Again, all the lies in the world don't change that.[/]

Are you through?

Help me out here, Dins...

Was it me or was it you that posted the following:

"Uhm... Oregon lost to the #6 team in the country."

IKYABWAI

Oh. I guess I didn't realize the pre-2007 version of Mizzou/Kansas was so much more enthralling.

I could seriously give a flying rat's ass what you think of Mizzou-Kansas pre- or post-apocolypse. My issue lies with XII Conference Office and their "less is more" television philosophy. It is a given that BTN will beam that compelling Wisconsin-Northwest Left Testicle State matchup into my home market, but God forbid if we get NU-CU as the late game on FSMW....

Truman wrote: My issue lies with XII Conference Office and their "less is more" television philosophy. It is a given that BTN will beam that compelling Wisconsin-Northwest Left Testicle State matchup into my home market, but God forbid if we get NU-CU as the late game on FSMW....

Easy does it big guy, I too feel your pain.

But doesn't that have more to do with the pond scum sucking, no NFL Network having bastards at Time Warner Cable?

Truman wrote:Was it me or was it you that posted the following:

"Uhm... Oregon lost to the #6 team in the country."

Well, I suppose if I was caught as dead-to-rights in a lie like you were LieMan, I'd try and take stuff out of context and try and snipe shit to save face, too.

Then again, I wouldn't get caught making complete falsehoods, so it's a moot point.


But let's clear it up AGAIN -- first, you need to look up the word "analogy." It will reallyreallyreally help you figute out why I'm fucking laughing at how fucking stupid you are.


"Well, gosh golly shucks... Oregon wouldn't deserve a BCS berth because they lost to a mediocre team that was #6 when they beat them... whereas we're about to beat TWO top-5 teams... OR AT LEAST THEY'LL BE TOP 5 WHEN WE PLAY THEM... of course, that ranking system ONLY APPLIES to certain teams, and the 'where they're ranked at THE TIME' system means that Mizzou just beat about 50 top-5 teams, and no one else in D1 beat any."



Yukyukyuk...gufffawwwww..... SHEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOT!!!! YEEEHAW!!!!! Yeahhhh, RO-DEE-OOOOO!!!! I just invented me a brand new ranking system, Cletus! YEEEEHAW!!!! Got a chaw I can bum, Jed? Mizzou should win about 100 of them'thar BCS champeeonships in the next 50 years by my math, Ma!!!!

Dins, point out to me where truman made any claims of B12 dominance over Pac or anybody else, for that matter. He didn't. He did throw in an observation that, you left coasters were over rated, but, I don't recall him claiming B12 over the Pac, not that he couldn't

And before you go to the "STFU, Big East loser" card, don't bother. No one knows better than BEer himself that they can't even claim true div 1 status.....yet. The BE hadn't even pretended to play Div 1 football until a few years ago.

The hillbilly smack from a mizzbilly was kinda funny. As it has been pointed out, you need hills to make hillbillies. OK is rather hill challenged.
Missouri, or atleast southern missouri can match hillbilly credentials with any state in the union, with the possible exception of west virginia. And that's just because MO has one actual city. You could say the same about the lower half of all the southern B10 states.

The single most unintelligible non immigrant I ever met was some dude in boot camp from the MO boot heel. Even the north georgia redneck in my company couldn't understand him.

Dinsdale wrote:...LIAR!!!...

The Unwritten Rule of any debate is that when your ass happens to be getting thoroughly thrashed on a given topic and you futilely look to recover with petty name-calling…

Well, er… you've already lost….

Jayzus, Dins… You scream like a six-year-old schoolgirl on the playground after taking one-too-many verbal dodge balls upside the head…

'Sayin'.



Okay. Your spin on this topic would make Bill O'Reilly proud. And your word count would make Ted Kaczynski jealous.

But since cognizant, logical reasoning doesn't appear to be a strong suit in U&L, and inference is clearly beyond the pale, I will again attempt to break down my dissent into terms that even a synaptically-challenged, U&L pothead can follow.

Seriously, Dins: Sucks for you that Oregon's BCS hopes crumpled in the Arizona desert with Dennis Dixon's knee. But your Donald's were screwed anyway. Despite your bluster – "Oregon lost to the #6 team in the country." – Your beloved computers woulda dropped your Ducks in the rankings with each successive Cal loss faster than a Mt. Rumplewife Jazzercise membership.

Oh, and a home loss to a mediocre Cal team wasn't about to help your SOS in the eyes of the pollsters, either. Couple that with the meteoric, late-season rise of one-loss Kansas and Missouri teams, and it would've been enough to doom your Ducks to the likes of BCS runner-up status.

Oh, and Cal #6?



BTW, thanks for validating my point on Pac rankings….

Papa Willie wrote:

smackaholic wrote: Missouri, or at least southern missouri can match hillbilly credentials with any state in the union, with the possible exception of west virginia.

And Arkansas. Dogpatch USA out front should have told ya'.

And that's just because MO has one actual city.

Huh?

KC hates St. Loser and vice versa, sure, but we still recognize each other as a city.

The single most unintelligible non immigrant I ever met was some dude in boot camp from the MO boot heel.

Did you know that Sheryl Crow is from the bootheel? So is Tyler Hansbrough... well, Poplar Bluff is close enough.

If you ever happen to be driving I-55 between St. Louis and Memphis, a stop in New Madrid is a must. You can pull right up next to the Mississppi river and see the horseshoe bend where it ceases flowing north and heads back south. That earthquake almost 200 years ago was an awesome event.

Dins wrote:

Truman wrote:

M Club wrote:

Dins wrote:

Truman wrote:

Rack! Made me laugh!

e wrote:

War Wagon wrote:KC hates St. Loser and vice versa, sure, but we still recognize each other as a city.

not really

Not really what, e? Explain yourself.

Hell, even Columbia and Springfield are cities. So's Jefferson City, where you send your state taxes.

e wrote:

War Wagon wrote:KC hates St. Loser and vice versa, sure, but we still recognize each other as a city.

not really

Good point, e.

St. Loser became Springfield when its population fell to around 300,000...

Er... 'Cept for all the mvscals and murders....