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Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:23 pm
by Uncle Fester
API = Application Programming Interface

I've got someone who will pay me $30 hour to write one of these fukkers and I'm saying, sure, no problem, I write amusing anecdotes about Hamm's beer on the web so how hard can it be?

So what about it, fellers? What the fukk is an API and how do I write one? Should I use square-headed deck screws?

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:38 pm
by Felix
Uncle Fester wrote:What the fukk is an API and how do I write one?
I have no idea, but it's good to see you haven't expired......

I've got a banjo thread that's burning a hole in my pocket....

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:43 pm
by Goober McTuber
Fester,

Most people I know, when they need a new API written for them, they find a technical expert and pay them $45 an hour to get it done. You might try that.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:45 pm
by Mikey
Felix wrote:
Uncle Fester wrote:What the fukk is an API and how do I write one?
I have no idea, but it's good to see you haven't expired......

I've got a banjo thread that's burning a hole in my pocket....
I thought banjos had "strings".

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:48 pm
by Cuda
I thought this was a zztop reset.

Still a no, btw

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:50 pm
by Mikey
Papa Willie wrote:Fester? Fuck! Haven't seen that fuck around in years!
If you want to see a Fester, just put one of these out and wait.

Image


Be sure to sit downwind, though.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:53 pm
by The Whistle Is Screaming
Start here http://lcsd05.cs.tamu.edu/slides/keynote.pdf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Welcome home fester, it's your turn to take out the garbage.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:56 pm
by Uncle Fester
Goober McTuber wrote:Fester,

Most people I know, when they need a new API written for them, they find a technical expert and pay them $45 an hour to get it done. You might try that.
Pay them $45 to do the job I'm supposed to be doing for $30?

Let me do some Jethro Bodine-style ciphering on that one.

I thought Dinsdale would be able to set me straight with one of his "Please tell me you're kidding..." responses.

My interview is tomorrow. I've written everything from systems documentation to Bazooka Joe comic fortunes, but something tells me this API stuff might be a tad bit difficult.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:58 pm
by The Whistle Is Screaming
Problem solved ...
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/Dummies ... LDING.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:00 pm
by Uncle Fester
Geezus.

I'm not a programmer. I wonder if that'll be a disadvantage.

Maybe I could barricade myself in the office ala George Costanza...

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:02 pm
by The Whistle Is Screaming
You may be Penske material.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:08 pm
by Uncle Fester
I know I can spin around in my office chair more than three times.

-----------------------------------------------
"Well that pear-shaped loser was ME!"

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:12 pm
by Smackie Chan
Uncle Fester wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Fester,

Most people I know, when they need a new API written for them, they find a technical expert and pay them $45 an hour to get it done. You might try that.
Pay them $45 to do the job I'm supposed to be doing for $30?
Yeah, but you'll make up for it in volume.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:16 pm
by Tom In VA
http://www.rentacoder.com/RentACoder/default.asp" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Maybe get some hungry and thirsty college kid to do it for $15.00, the experience, AND a case of Hamms.


Good Luck

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:33 pm
by RumpleForeskin
The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:You may be Penske material.

We had a lovely party for Grace.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:47 pm
by Uncle Fester
I may have to go back to my dream of being a corn dog vendor at the State fair.

And btw, why are all the avatards right-justified? What is this, the Bizarro One Board? Should I be typing from right to left?

The more I look at the API info on the web, the more depressed I get. It looks farken awful, like stuff that would make my brain hurt. Then I think about Jess the Rookie getting paid 5 grand for an 8-second spot as "Guy Eating Corn Cob" or "Nerd Stuck in Pencil Sharpener" and I think about resting my head under a hydraulic press.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:51 pm
by RumpleForeskin
Uncle Fester wrote:And btw, why are all the avatards right-justified? What is this, the Bizarro One Board? Should I be typing from right to left?

Here are perstructions on changing it to the more "classic" look, UF:

http://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewto ... 19&t=26470" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:52 pm
by BSmack
Uncle Fester wrote:And btw, why are all the avatards right-justified? What is this, the Bizarro One Board? Should I be typing from right to left?
Marty tells me we should blame the Jews.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 10:11 pm
by PSUFAN
I think about resting my head under a hydraulic press.
Not a problem. Bsmack feels that way after quaffing 74 Diet Piss Lites most weeknights. Soldier on, this is CODING, dammit!

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 10:20 pm
by Uncle Fester
RumpleForeskin wrote: Here are perstructions on changing it to the more "classic" look, UF:
Thanks!

---------------------------------
"Ya know, it's tough to keep your feet dry when you're kicking in a skull."

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 10:33 pm
by Mikey
I thought it was AP's last request.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:56 am
by socal
Fester,

Wool is much too hot for the company beer league team. But if you were to suggest 100% cotton unis, you'll be promoted in record time.

Re: Have any of you Geeks Ever Written an "API?"

Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:11 pm
by PSUFAN
API? Never heard of that one.

--IRIE LAGOS