T1B

An Ohio man is charged with four counts of public indecency after he admitted to having sex with his patio picnic table. Authorities in Huron County, Ohio say 40-year-old Art Price Junior confessed to repeatedly having sex with the table between January and March of this year.

Police in Bellevue, Ohio were tipped off, after someone anonymously taped one of the incidents then gave the recording to police. According to police, Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home.

He is free on a $20,000 bond.

married life is a bitch, eh?

Uhhh, I have just one question.

How?

If I am that dude, I am tracking down that nosy fukking neighbor and capping his ass. Then maybe go inside and rape his lazyboy.

Splinters?

What's the country coming to when you can't even fuck a picnic table in the privacy of your own backyard?

You don't have to take picnic tables out to dinner and they never talk back.

RACK this guy for living the American dream, UNrack all who oppose him, and UNrack the U.S. of Nazi A.

poptart wrote:What's the country coming to when you can't even fuck a picnic table in the privacy of your own backyard?

word.

and as far as urinating in your backyard. that is not such an unusual thing . why do i now have to hear my 80 year old neighbor start whistling some perry cuomo song everytime he hears the sidedoor open. listen to me frank- (if youre reading this), i will urinate in my yard. i will do it near and far. i will piss on your shitty fence. i have unloaded on hippies tents.
i will pee today or tomorrow. i will piss on your wheelbarrel .

and to my neighbor in the back. the "cough cough i see you urinating in your back yard" means you need to round up the family and go back inside.

e wrote:i've pissed i the yard a few times.

rack

usually only if we're working on the plumbing and the water's turned off

bwahahah. in the S&E we plumb whilst the waters turned on

or if i'm drunk off my ass and just feel like pissing outside.

brothers from another mother. you do know now.

as for 88, played out. bring on 89.

or 13,500 whatever it takes.

q, it goes without saying that a man should be able to hang his hose any time anywhere on his own property.
Backyard, front yard, anywhere ....
What's more natural than this?

I mean, in Europe, don't women walk around with titties out and bouncin' around lookin' like a lava lamp stuck on 78?
Perhaps I've read too many Novellas, I dunno.

Picnic table Casanova is no criminal.

Take back America!

I'm guessin' the picnic table was equipped with an unbrella stand hole. I might need to try that.

I'm not reading all that.

Sex with a picnic table.

Brings a whole new meaning to the term "Morning wood"

I heard that IKEA has a TRO against him.

That table had a nice bench, but it was flat as a board. I still got wood, though

I love lamp.

sin

88 wrote:Not me. I'll never fuck a picnic table again. I got some pine sap on the taint one time. That was enough for me.

I bought a nice folding tv dinner tray for inside fucking. And I wrapped some duct tape around the chain link fence near my neighbor's hot tub for outside fun.

When I was around 12 we went to my Great Aunt and Uncle's place in Napa. They were loaded so they had a huge spread...too bad they were both like 90 and just sat in front of the TV like two stalks of celery.

I got bored real quick hearing them drool through a conversation with my parents so I decided to go hiking through the property. As I was leaving my Old Man reminded me that poison oak ran rampant through that area. I wasn't worried, as I was a (non-molested, thanks) boy scout and knew what poison oak looked like.

Well, wouldn't you know, even though I never saw any, I somehow ended up with poison oak oil all over my hands. No, I don't know this because my hands broke out in hives or anything, I know this because I took a leak out in the woods, scratched my eyelid and scratched an area next to my nose. The next day my crank itched worse than Mike Backer's hog after going bareback on a $2 whore, my eye was almost swollen shut and I had what looked like a knife scar next to my nose.

If I ever see poison oak, I will fight it.

Maybe you're just allergic to celery.

Stalks of celery? Mike Backer's hog?

Read OCMike and RACK him.

RACK him? He just took up another 45 minutes of Pickle's time.

poptart wrote: Take back America!

says the Korean.....

mvscal wrote:I'm more concerned about the weirdos who taped a dude fucking a table than I am about a dude fucking a table.

It sounds like something Dan Vogel would do while I'm writing my name in semen on his mailbox. The sick freak.

Dan should be worried about Wombats

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4453980a10.html

When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer said.

On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help.

He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.

"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out,'' Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said.

"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all,'' Cradock then told the operator.

Wombat is Australian for Beer

PSUFAN wrote:Stalks of celery? Mike Backer's hog?

Read OCMike and RACK him.

Thanks. Mike Backer resets are always money in my book.

BTW, the only reason we went there is because my parents were talked into "taking a turn" cleaning up the house by the octo-ninto-gen...old fuckers kids because they were sick of doing it. See, these two geezers were so fucking ready to just lay down and die that they didn't care about a damn thing. They'd eat microwave meals and toss the empty container on the floor, behind a chair, onto a stack of other empty microwave containers...pretty much wherever suited them. So there were piles of trash several feet high all around the living room and the place smelled like Paul's bathroom a few hours after a baked beans eating contest. Add in the flies and roaches and, well, it was a solid "10" on the fucking putrid scale.

So me and my sisters made ourselves scarce, while hoping we wouldn't be asked to help, as my parents cleaned up that shithole.

After they were done, my Old Man was so pissed that he called his cousin and bitched him out using words that would make Dan Vogel cover his ears in horror. Needless to say, that was the last time we went down there for cleanup duty.

The next day my crank itched worse than Mike Backer's hog after going bareback on a $2 whore

Laughed out loud'er.

No but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.......

mvscal wrote:It sounds like something Dan Vogel would do while I'm writing my name in semen on his mailbox. The sick freak.

You don't need to bring me into a discussion about sickness and imagenary things that I would do. Because in reality you are sick. You're racist and sexually strange. You post hate most of the time. Don't bring my name up again got it?

This man was defiling himself not too far from a school. Whoever is trying to support him needs to stop and think about that. Of course he deserved to be arrested. He needs counseling and putting someone as him the general prison population would be a diservice. I hope he gets straightend out and we'll see about it.

This man was defiling himself not too far from a school.

I have been telling my wife for years that at age 75, should I reach it, I will push aside the netting and perform sexual coitus with the Christmas Ham in full view of my family. There will be much to learn from that, should they approach it with open eyes and minds.

And no, Sissyroo...I'm not talking about Friday Night.

Make sure you get a standard ham and cut a quim-sized opening yourself.

Going for the spiral-sliced ham would immediately conjure up visions of Blondiepig and cause an instant case of ED.

I think that if I play my cards right, I can stretch a tendon across the hole and scream "CHERRY!!!" as I plunge on in. More learning opportunities, you understand.