T1B

I recently picked up a fresh bag of maté from the local heath food store. It's been a couple years since I've taken weed through my bombilla and I missed it terribly. My old source went out of business in 2006 and all the spic "Tiendas" don't have a clue what maté is. I was thrilled to find some good quality Argentinian herb right here in town. I dug my bombilla out of my sock drawer and have been taking herb nearly every day for two weeks. Something is happening to my body that never happened before. Almost exactly two hours after straining 16-20oz of warm sugar water through a pile of herb, I need to take a dump. It's not real loose stool like it's giving me diarrhea or anything. It's not a real big satisfying dump either. It's just a gentle urge and a couple of small banana sized logs. Does anyone else take maté? If so, have you experienced anything like this?

I wondered if it was the extra fiber I was getting since the bombilla doesn't strain out everything. I dismissed that because on days when I don't take herb I don't get the urge to poo. I doubt fiber has such an immediate affect.

Could this be some type of cleansing like they advertise on AM radio in the mornings? Those radio shows talk about 30" unbroken turds ringing the toilet bowl and I'm certainly not experiencing that.



For those of you who don't know what maté is, see images below:

Blessed herb


A gourd full of maté and a bombilla for drinking it:

Check with Lars Launchaload at romper room.

That looks like some sweet oregano, dude.

MGO, I don't post at faggot message boards so maybe you could post my message to Lars in the RumpRangerRoom by proxy. You could say something like "A friend of mine is having problems with his pooper..." That should get your gay friends' attention. Then ask them about maté. Thanks, MGO.

RadioFan, why do you hate my pooper? Won't you help, please?

Those radio shows talk about 30" unbroken turds ringing the toilet bowl and I'm certainly not experiencing that.

You're new here, aren't you?

I wish valvenis wasn't dead. He could do so much with this thread.

So...are there any other noticeable effects? You're pooping silken tofu - anything else?

I was doing maté every day for several years. It never seemed to have the effect you describe, but I used to make it in a drip coffee maker so I prolly wasn't getting near as much of the fiber coming through. I never used sugar in it either. Straight up or not at all.

I stopped about 6 months ago...not sure why. It may have been the single cup Black and Decker drip machine never made a good tasting cup. Maybe I should go to a bombilla.

Here's a good mail order source, btw.

http://www.nativayerbamate.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I'd hate to drink much maté without sugar. I have done it, it's like drinking water strained through discarded cig butts. My guess is that Rootbeer's squirts are due to the warm sugar water and not the maté. Also, what's the water like in CultLand?

Mikey wrote:I was doing maté every day for several years. It never seemed to have the effect you describe, but I used to make it in a drip coffee maker so I prolly wasn't getting near as much of the fiber coming through. I never used sugar in it either. Straight up or not at all.

I stopped about 6 months ago...not sure why. It may have been the single cup Black and Decker drip machine never made a good tasting cup. Maybe I should go to a bombilla.

You do realize that the original recipe did not include those nasty little fishes?

Oops. Wrong thread.

PSUFAN wrote:My guess is that Rootbeer's squirts are due to the warm sugar water and not the maté.

Or perhaps the pH level of Broken Staple’s gack.

Goober McTuber wrote:

Mikey wrote:I was doing maté every day for several years. It never seemed to have the effect you describe, but I used to make it in a drip coffee maker so I prolly wasn't getting near as much of the fiber coming through. I never used sugar in it either. Straight up or not at all.

I stopped about 6 months ago...not sure why. It may have been the single cup Black and Decker drip machine never made a good tasting cup. Maybe I should go to a bombilla.

You do realize that the original recipe did not include those nasty little fishes?

Oops. Wrong thread.

You mean the ones packed in water or oil?

(Shit no mod powers here...)

Help is on the way. Once mvscal trains these guys up, they'll weigh in on maté and how to fucking use it.

Word.

Rootbeer is seeking some herbal guidance from south of the Equator. Who can help him? Let's not let this guy dry up and blow away, ok?

Does that stuff really loosen you up? I ate a bunch of fried cheese this past weekend that has me bound up a bit.

Just post something personally revealing. You'll be clear in no time.

sin,

I appreciate all your kind words of support and encouragement. Today I didn't take any herb and I didn't poop until just about ten minutes ago. The poo urge came on real hard and fast. The poo was soft but seemed kinda bound up in there. It released with fury very unlike what I experience after taking maté. I think I prefer comfortably pooping at ten a.m. instead of angrily sharting my guts out at ten p.m.

A few of you posted some interesting questions. I'll endeavor to answer them to the best of my ability.

PSUFan asked if there were any other noticeable effects besides pooping silken tofu. Yes, PSUFan, thanks for asking. I also feel kinda warm and upbeat for about four hours after taking teh herbs. This could be due to the antioxidant levels in maté or the teaspoon of white sugar coursing through my bloodstream. The only detraction I have to the sugar theory is the lack of similar response when drinking hot cocoa; which has similar sugar content.

Mikey asked about getting a bombilla rather than using coffee maker. Mikey, I don't know how you drank herb after making it with a coffee maker. The water is far too hot for making proper herb. When I take maté I put an inch of dry herb in the bottom of a cup and add cold water. I mix the cold water with the herb until it is moistened. This keeps the herbs from being burned by warm water. From here I either add ice water, 7-UP, or warm sugar water. The water cannot be too hot or it will burn the herbs. I would guess the highest water temperature at around 110º, but I'm not sure how accurate that number is; I test the water with my finger not with a thermometer. Mikey, definitely get a bombilla and follow my recipe. You'll love it.

Sirfindafold posted a picture of a robot that does not turn into a building. -2 points

PSUFan asked about the water in CultLand. I don't know if PSU is referencing my geological location or something else. PSU, I recently moved and the water is nasty. Thanks for asking.

Goober wants to know the pH level of Broken Staple's gack. Mr Tuber, I wouldn't know. I also don't know who you are. Who are you?

Rootbeer wrote:Goober wants to know the pH level of Broken Staple's gack. Mr Tuber, I wouldn't know. I also don't know who you are. Who are you?

That’s not totally accurate. I never asked to know the pH level of the gack, just suggested that it might be part of your problem.

Shared trolls can sometimes be hilarious, at other times not so much so. It’s fairly obvious that this isn’t Dindale’s week at the helm.

And it's Mr. McTuber. Heavy on the Mr.

PSU is referencing my geological location

Where do you reside in the strata? Is the aquifer muscling in on you? Best of luck in dealing with your next seismic event!

Goober McTuber wrote:Heavy on the Mr.

Goober McTuber wrote: Shared trolls can sometimes be hilarious, at other times not so much so. It’s fairly obvious that this isn’t Dindale’s week at the helm.

This is not Dinsdale. Dins would be much funnier and smarter with the witty comebacks and having the SMACK. Stay tuned next week when Dinsdale will be featured poster of the Rootbeer nickname*.

And it's Mr. McTuber. Heavy on the Mr.

If I called you Mister McPotato or McCarrot would that be funny? That might be a little too cerebral for this crowd. Dinsdale would probably use a term like McVodka because he's smart and he can get away with things like that.

*-not really


PSU, I meant geographically but you knew that. Geologically speaking, I'm in the bunker as per usualm. Not much water near the bunker but the Yellowstone caldera is within striking distance so thanks for the well wishes in regards to future seismic events.

Rootbeer wrote:

Goober McTuber wrote: Shared trolls can sometimes be hilarious, at other times not so much so. It’s fairly obvious that this isn’t Dindale’s week at the helm.

This is not Dinsdale.

No shit, Captain Obvious. That was my point. Maybe you could hand over the keys a bit sooner, before the Rootbeer troll falls victim to the new suckage rules.

I'm not worried about the new suckage rules. I am grandfathered into this board because I was epic as recently as three years ago. Ref. p. 8, pp. 2
Suck on that, Goober MacDillweed.

The nice thing about this shit is you can get it for like 10 centavos a KILO, mang. If there is some positive benefit to be derived, someone better PM Dean Kamen and Wolfman, and quick. Could save the WORLD!!

Rootbeer wrote:I was epic as recently as three years ago.

Link?

PSUFAN wrote:Word.

Rootbeer is seeking some herbal guidance from south of the Equator. Who can help him? Let's not let this guy dry up and blow away, ok?

He should have asked MgoBlueLightSpecial first; he knows EVERYTHING!

Jsc810 wrote: Our words may be sometimes entertaining, but they are not the words you should be listening to.

Go see a gastroenterologist, listen to him or her. There may be some unpleasant tests, but at least you will know what is going on, and then will be able to properly treat it.

Taking herbs for a medical condition is as foolish as going to a chiropractor instead of a MD when you have back problems.

I'm not taking maté as a cure for anything. It tastes great and it's less filling. I was just wondering about the side effects involving my chocolate sausage factory(of page 2). Thanks for the serious advice though. It's good to know not everyone on this board is a big fat meanie.