T1B Suck-Off

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:45 pm

Welcome to the first ever T1B Suck-Off!

There has been a slight twist to the original idea to turn this event into more of a competition. What we have created here are standings comprised of two leagues, with three divisions in each, and four "competitors" in each division. The list of posters were selected by an expert panel from the various "family of boards" that we all know, love, and absolutely despise. What's going to take place is a competition of rrrrreal sucky message boarding. If you care about your place here, then the idea is to lose...or to win, however you want to look at it.

The game is simple. The Deciders will monitor your posting over the course of a one week period, possibly longer if deemed necessary. This will be considered a "round." After a round has been completed, one poster will be eliminated from each division. This means you WANT to be eliminated. This means you will not be eligible for the grand prize, which essentially, is what you're trying to avoid. I'll get to that in a bit.

Rounds will continue to be played until we have sole representatives from each division, including one wild card from each league. The Elite 8 of Suck will then square off and eventually widdle down to two remaining posters. Whoever is deemed the suckiest of those two will "win" the ULTIMATE grand prize: A ban from T1B. The amount of time on the ban is undetermined at this stage.

Of course, you will know where you are at all times in the standings, because your level of suckosity will be updated daily, and will be displayed quite simply as a "batting average." Check in daily to see if your average has fallen or risen. Again, it's really simple: posting quality stuff will raise your average. Posting sucky, unfunny, boring tripe will lower it.

One thing to note: Some people on this list post far less than others. Chances are better for elimination when you don't post, because when you don't post, you can't possibly suck. Just a little tip for you. In fact, for some of you, that would be a tremendous improvement.

Next Monday, batting averages will be posted and the game will begin. However, keep in mind that anything you post between now and Monday can and will be factored into your "opening day" batting average. You want to try and start off strong, don't you?

Below is a list of the standings and competition for your perusal until then.

Merry message boarding, everyone.

American League

Suckalicious Division
Derron
War Wagon
Toddowen
Mad Russian

Sucktastic Division
The Big Pickle
Wolfman
Revlimiter
BSmack

Scrotum Sucking Division
Bobby42
Sirfindafold
Papa Willie
Adelpiero

National League

Suckaholic Division
Jerkovich
ADAM
Neely8
smackaholic

Sucksational Division
LTS TRN 2
Kid Nashville
Moving Sale
Cuda

Suckulent Division
.m2
XXXL
LoganFan
Diogenes :brad:

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:55 pm

The NL Suckulent Division looks pretty strong.

GO BOLTS!

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:01 pm

------------------------------- <---------The Mendoza Line
Scrotum Sucking Division
Bobby42
Sirfindafold
Papa Willie
Adelpiero

This group is strong. Kind of like placing the 1899 Cleveland Spiders, the 1916 Philadelphia A's, the 1935 Boston Braves, and the '62 Mets all in one division.

Rack Mgo btw.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:02 pm

Rather Ironic that Cuda was a smack off judge and is also a suck off contestant.

If he wins this one it could raise hell with the TV ratings for the next smack off.

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:05 pm

Could we swap m2 for Neely?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:06 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:Rather Ironic that Cuda was a smack off judge and is also a suck off contestant.

Personally, I don't agree with all the names in that list. But it's a majority vote type-a-thing so we gotta roll with it.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:07 pm

I just hope my check doesn't bounce.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:07 pm

Looks to me like the National League is stacked. Lots of strong (or is it weak?) competition in the senior circuit. If minimal posting is the key to not getting the ax, suxawholedick could be in trouble.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:13 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Personally, I don't agree with all the names in that list. But it's a majority vote type-a-thing so we gotta roll with it.

Agreed Mgo, while there are one or two names there that perhaps shouldn't be, it is nevertheless a SuperSuckeriffic listing.

Good luck to all, and may the suckiest poster win!

I'm betting that the champ will emanate from the Suckalicious Division.

Odds anyone?

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:16 pm

Pickle's got be challenging the odds of Secretariat before the Belmont Stakes.

1-5 anyone? I'll even be the book on this one.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:24 pm

Rather Ironic that Cuda was a smack off judge and is also a suck off contestant.

Not a bit of irony there at all, actually.

The question was raised - what if PUS advances and almost wins the thing? If he doesn't show everyone his shit-stripe, he might be tough to beat, right? Eyebrows will be raised.

Solution: add Cuda to the judge column. Worked like a charm.

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:27 pm

Is there a wild card in this, or are just the division winners advancing?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:29 pm

If you don't mow through the competition, then something is horribly wrong.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:31 pm

Loganfan wrote:Is there a wild card in this, or are just the division winners advancing?

I wrote:Rounds will continue to be played until we have sole representatives from each division, including one wild card from each league.

I see Logan is already whiffing for the fences.

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:34 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
Loganfan wrote:Is there a wild card in this, or are just the division winners advancing?

I wrote:Rounds will continue to be played until we have sole representatives from each division, including one wild card from each league.
I see Logan is already whiffing for the fences.

Like I'm gonna read all that crap when we've got you doing such a fine job answering everybody's questions.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:35 pm

Who comes to a message board to...READ!?!?! Oh, the horrah!

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:36 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I see Logan is already whiffing for the fences.

Like Cerano attempting to hit the breaking stuff.

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:38 pm

What about the guys that just post all day here?
There's not going to be any OBP factored in for # of posts? Seems we could have gone a bit deeper here.......

ya, ya......I know

[quote=Mgo]One thing to note: Some people on this list post far less than others. Chances are better for elimination when you don't post, because when you don't post, you can't possibly suck. Just a little tip for you. In fact, for some of you, that would be a tremendous improvement[/quote].

Just seems a bit more work could have been put into this

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:39 pm

RumpleForeskin wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I see Logan is already whiffing for the fences.

Like Cerano attempting to hit the breaking stuff.

I'm a PadreFan.
Let's make that like Kalhil Greene trying to hit the breaking stuff

Thx

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:40 pm

mvscal wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I see Logan is already whiffing for the fences.
Sorta like Babe Ruth...with a few extra chromosomes.

I have help, I have help!!!!!!!!!!!

sin,
mv

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:41 pm

What about the guys that just post all day here?

Don't get your porn stache in a tizzy over this. We've covered all those bases. Never doubt the statistics.

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:45 pm

I'd NEVER question the stats!!!!

Stats are EVERYTHING.

Sin,

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:51 pm

Logan's Line for today:

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:53 pm

Papa Willie wrote:God damn, Logan. You're walking away with it and we haven't even started yet. Quit stacking the dick, motherfucker!

I hate to lose, dawg.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:53 pm

PSUFAN wrote: Solution: add Cuda to the judge column.

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:54 pm

Papa Willie wrote:So Mgo - are you just "above" this list, or do you just think you are? I notice many other names. Is there a "for real" suck fest that we weren't invited to? If so - all is well.

We've been over this....they won't give out that URL

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:55 pm

Papa Willie wrote:This may be fun. I might bring out all the old "Spray Shots".

:x That shit ain't fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:58 pm

Mgo wrote:One thing to note: Some people on this list post far less than others. Chances are better for elimination when you don't post, because when you don't post, you can't possibly suck. Just a little tip for you. In fact, for some of you, that would be a tremendous improvement

.

logon fan wrote: Just seems a bit more work could have been put into this

You mean - like you taking 30 seconds to learn how to use basic fucking quote code?

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:59 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:
Mgo wrote:One thing to note: Some people on this list post far less than others. Chances are better for elimination when you don't post, because when you don't post, you can't possibly suck. Just a little tip for you. In fact, for some of you, that would be a tremendous improvement
.

logon fan wrote: Just seems a bit more work could have been put into this

You mean - like you taking 30 seconds to learn how to use basic fucking quote code?

This isn't about me.

Oh wait....yes it is :D

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:59 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
Loganfan wrote:
Papa Willie wrote:This may be fun. I might bring out all the old "Spray Shots".

:x That shit ain't fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :x

I've begun. Round 1 is now OPEN!

Pretty sure you're not in charge here, big fella

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:07 pm

Papa Willie wrote:Already had a thread go to TROTS, Logan. I'm winning, mothafuckah! :D

Seriously (get fucked), do we post our applications in TROTS threads or what?

I don't think you can keep this up. I fully expect SFF to come out of your division

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:11 pm

Quit going emoticon happy........people may be anti-smiley but the Deciders know DAMN well that you're using them just to try to pad your stats.

Biggie · Post by **Biggie** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:11 pm

Dude calls out 24 regular posters and there are zero replies challenging his arrogance? Wow - I guess being SO Champ does have its privileges.

:bows to MgoBlue:

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:13 pm

Biggie wrote:Dude calls out 24 regular posters and there are zero replies challenging his arrogance? Wow - I guess being SO Champ does have its privileges.

:bows to MgoBlue:

Either that or he's just not to be taken seriously.

velocet · Post by **velocet** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:13 pm

Morte is an obvious troll. Anyway, "he" copped to being run by Jay in Phoenix in that brain dead thread of his. Dump that nic, it doesn't deserve recognition. I nominate quackerbacker as his replacement.

Speaking of nominations: in the summer of 2000 Roger_the_Shrubber nominated ADAM for a Smackademy Award: Rookie Of the Year.

velocet

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:13 pm

Just seems a bit more work could have been put into this

Jiminy Fucking Hendrix Christmas. Hey IDIOT - don't you think folks think the same thing when reading your posts? Not just for "this one"...but for each and every god-blamed wreck of a submission you slap us with?

Logan - this is me speaking directly to you - STOP SUCKING SO FUCKING BAD. It's not that you're stupid...hell, you seem to have some :rts: abilities, if nothing else...it's more that you put NOTHING into your posts. Does operating your keyboard hurt your fingertips? Does your granny kick your ass at Badminton?

Stand straight, lock your knees, stop slouching, look into the monitor and POST, jackass! Holy fucking fuck!!

Loganfan · Post by **Loganfan** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:17 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
Just seems a bit more work could have been put into this
Jiminy Fucking Hendrix Christmas. Hey IDIOT - don't you think folks think the same thing when reading your posts? Not just for "this one"...but for each and every god-blamed wreck of a submission you slap us with?

Logan - this is me speaking directly to you - STOP SUCKING SO FUCKING BAD. It's not that you're stupid...hell, you seem to have some :rts: abilities, if nothing else...it's more that you put NOTHING into your posts. Does operating your keyboard hurt your fingertips? Does your granny kick your ass at Badminton?

Stand straight, lock your knees, stop slouching, look into the monitor and POST, jackass! Holy fucking fuck!!

Now see.....this is the kind of response I was looking for.
Honestly, if you hadn't jumped in on my OTL thread I probably wouldn't even still be posting here other than the occassional football forum post.
I'd be more than happy to put some more effort into my posts.....but now I'm in this suck off thing and I'm just not sure that losing out to Spray wouldn't be worse than getting banned. Lemme go home, get a hit of the stinky, have a couple drinks and think on how I'm going to go about this whole thing

Biggie · Post by **Biggie** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:17 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Logan - this is me speaking directly to you - STOP SUCKING SO FUCKING BAD.

Good one. That oughta do it.

Biggie · Post by **Biggie** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:20 pm

Papa Willie wrote:Just let me post in the CFB forum if it comes to that.

RACK all Shrubber resets.

Greetings and salutations to: velocet

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:21 pm

Biggie wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:Logan - this is me speaking directly to you - STOP SUCKING SO FUCKING BAD.
Good one. That oughta do it.

I don't know what else to try. Should I give him the link to...that board?

Is there room for more than one pornstache over there?