T1B

Sorry I'm late. Dick cramp...Dinsdale's mom...nevermind.

Opening Day batting averages have been posted. Some of you have struggled mightily so far with some very basic rules and concepts pertaining to the Suck-Off so I'll try to spell this out for the simpletons. You know who you are:

If you are at the BOTTOM of the division, that is bad. If you are at the TOP of the division, that is good. If you have a LOW batting average, that is bad. If you have a HIGH batting average, that is good. Understand?

This is considered round 1. Round 1 will last until next Tuesday, but possibly longer if deemed necessary. The posters with the HIGHEST batting average after round 1 will be eliminated from their respective divisions. Once again, you WANT to be eliminated from the Suck-Off. Okay?

Lastly, remember that batting averages will be adjusted daily, so check in often to monitor the suckosity level of these individuals.

See below and discuss.



MgoBlue-LightSpecial
T1B Suck-Off Commissioner

American League

Suckalicious Division

War Wagon .270
Toddowen .259
Derron .247
Mad Russian .245

Sucktastic Division

Revlimiter .254
Wolfman .247
BSmack .240
The Big Pickle .237


Scrotum Sucking Division

Adelpiero .289
Bobby42 .281
Papa Willie .254
Sirfindafold .234

National League

Suckaholic Division

Jerkovich .286
smackaholic .279
Neely8 .272
ADAM .271

Sucksational Division

Kid Nashville .295
Moving Sale .249
Cuda .198
LTS TRN .190

Suckulent Division

XXXL .295
Diogenes .254
.m2 .248
LoganFan .220

last updated: 7/16/08 9:47 AM EST

Fuck off, you panty-wearing bed-wetter

Oh, sorry, I said "panty-wearing" when I really should have just said panty-collecting.

doesn't appear your contest is off to a very goo start, does it, Auntie Mgo?

TRotS?

Not yet?

Why the long face? You're not even in dead last.

Fucking RACK The Deciders. Nice work, guys.

Yeah, nice work- you got the crickets chirping in record time!

Cuda wrote:Yeah, nice work- you got the crickets chirping in record time!

Great post! RACK IT!

Cuda wrote:

Cuda wrote:Yeah, nice work- you got the crickets chirping in record time!

Great post! RACK IT!

Concur, RACK IT!

Why the long face, Auntie Mgo?

RACK the Deciders

Cuda wrote:Why the long face, Auntie Mgo?

RACK the Deciders

Fuckin A!

I'll be back in a minute

Any action yet?

Cuda wrote:Any action yet?

nyah in the least

Racque the Deciders anyhow

Cuda wrote:
Racque the Deciders anyhow

Concur

The Crowd is getting restless waiting for MgoBlueLightSpecial to appear

RACK you, Cooter, for doing your best to make sure that Diaphanous doesn’t just walk away with this thing.

You don't get it, do you, goobs?

It's already been Decided

Cuda wrote:You don't get it, do you, goobs?

It's already been Decided

RACK!

Genius take!

Concur

Cuda is absolutely blowing up in this thread.

Cuda comes into this contest flirting with the mendoza line. If he was any closer to it, They'd have to rename it in his honor.

The post-game show is brought to you by...



Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.

Mister Bushice wrote:Cuda comes into this contest flirting with the mendoza line. If he was any closer to it, They'd have to rename it in his honor.

The post-game show is brought to you by...



Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.

RACk the bottle of Jack next to him

We don't know where Loganfan played last year, but I'm sure he did a hell of a job. He's batting a stellar .228.



Logan fan has been battling for last place in his own division, and so far he's winning that battle.

Don't try to influence The Deciders!

UnWAR whoever thought we should nudge coodes off of Biggie's mons venus

UnWAR whoever thought we should nudge coodes off of Biggie's mons venus

Mister Bushice wrote:We don't know where Loganfan played last year, but I'm sure he did a hell of a job. He's batting a stellar .228.



Logan fan has been battling for last place in his own division, and so far he's winning that battle.

I'm right on schedule, dawg.........right around my Padres' team batting average

This isn't the case of a scrappy old washed-up has been wanting to go another round, and management caving to cater to their legend. He can obviously still play at a high level and win

Papa Willie wrote:OK. Let me get warmed up.

Warmed up? Dude....you know you start sweating as soon as you walk out of the AC.......

Papa Willie wrote:I've got to RACK Cuda.

Concur!

Papa Willie enters the contest with a reputation as a big fat tub of goo.



But with a batting average juuusst a bit outside of .270, what he lacks in speed he more than makes up for in girth and forward momentum. Many a first baseman has cleared the basepath when they see steamboat willie barrel rolling towards em.

Papa Willie wrote:Watch me get off.

I figured that's what was going on in your avatar. You're the one on the right?

Papa Willie wrote:My semen is shit brown.

What a shocker.