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You can't make this stuff up

Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 6:26 pm
by RumpleForeskin
I work on the first floor of a five story commercial bank building that sits on a corner of a very busy intersection north of houston. It's about 90% occupied with office space available on the second floor. It's a busy building. Our restroom is located on the second floor, therefore I always take the stairs to get the pulse up after sitting hours at a time at a desk.

Well, it was time for my usual mid-day piss break and so I made my way to the stairwell. I open the door and was kicked in the face with the foulest stench you could possibly imagine. It was reminiscent of going down on Mrs. Rumps without the proper breathing apparatus. I marined my way up to the second floor and was greeted with this surprise....



Image


Yep, someone had taken a big New Orleans next to the door in the fucking stairwell. I think it's safe to say that I've seen it all now.

JFC.

Re: You can't make this stuff up

Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 7:21 pm
by RumpleForeskin
I snapped the picture because my phone was on me. Now that I think about it....its fucking gross and I can't believe that I did that.

Re: You can't make this stuff up

Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 7:21 pm
by BOWELBLIGHTER
FUCKING NOVICES

Re: You can't make this stuff up

Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 7:23 pm
by Dinsdale
The big office buildings I've been contracting in belong to a large health-care provider.

They insist on putting up these stupid health-tip-type posters everywhere. One of the ones that suggests employees use the stairs to get excercise reads "Rise Up," with some smaller text under it.

I couldn't help myself... you know, me being the Grammar Police and stuff...

So I modified one of those posters, and afterwards, underneath the "Rise Up" line, now reads "But only if you work in the Department of Redundancy Department."


I haven't caught shit for it yet.

Re: You can't make this stuff up

Posted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 7:44 pm
by socal
Dinsdale wrote:The big office buildings I've been contracting in belong to a large health-care provider.

They insist on putting up these stupid health-tip-type posters everywhere. One of the ones that suggests employees use the stairs to get excercise reads "Rise Up," with some smaller text under it.

I couldn't help myself... you know, me being the Grammar Police and stuff...

So I modified one of those posters, and afterwards, underneath the "Rise Up" line, now reads "But only if you work in the Department of Redundancy Department."


I haven't caught shit for it yet.
Your fielding percentage for catching shit is now at .437 for that exercise.

Re: You can't make this stuff up

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 7:34 am
by Mister Bushice
RumpleForeskin wrote:I snapped the picture because my phone was on me. Now that I think about it....its fucking gross and I can't believe that I did that.
Looks like a classic S.A.T. (Shart Avoidance Tactic)

I'm guessing the dumper had a mid day lunch at a taco smbell, was a little on the heavy side and felt the fudge express moving ahead of schedule.

So rather than sit in shart all day, make the maintenance crew earn their pay.

Dude probably had a panicked 60 seconds while frantically unbuckling his trou, looking frantically at the two hall doors and brown capping, all at once, before he banked the mudslide off the wall.

RACK him for pulling it off.

Some elsewhere on the internet some fat fuck is getting gravy slaps from his bloat buddies for getting over on the Shart Monster and The Man.

Re: You can't make this stuff up

Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 2:41 pm
by Smackie Chan
Sounds like the voice of experience, Bushart.