All you Haters- Get your asses in here!
Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:17 pm
A little something from Columbus.
Columbus Dispatch
Rob Oller commentary: Buckeyes' fade means haters must find another target
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 4:53 AM
By Rob Oller
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH
During the hunt for college football teams to hate, the national prey mostly recently has been found grazing in Columbus, where its thin skin is covered only by a cotton sweater vest.
Ohio State was overrated, its fans arrogant and its coach holier than thou. Then along came the migration to Southern California, where the Trojans rode herd on the Buckeyes and suddenly it's not as much fun to light into the Luckeyes.
Now that Ohio State is regarded as mostly meaningless by the media -- joining other irrelevant targets such as Notre Dame, Michigan, Florida State and the University of Miami -- a void has been created. The nation needs a new team to taunt because the only thing Americans like more than cheering the underdog is berating the top dog.
The choices:
USC -- The Trojans present a tug-of-war because they possess the flash and sizzle that draws both warmth and wrath. SoCal's superiority complex plays well on the coasts -- you mean there is land between New York and Los Angeles? -- but not so well in the Midwest and South, especially in the Southeastern Conference, which considers USC a threat to its self-coronation as best conference in the universe. True, the Trojans like to run up the score whenever possible, but on the flip side the media has a man-crush on Pete Carroll. Verdict: While loving it when USC loses, the Trojans are too West Coast to worry about. Hard to hate a team whose games begin at some people's bedtime.
Oklahoma -- Next to Ohio State, the Sooners carry the onerous burden of losing the big games. With the Buckeyes out of the picture, the choker label now falls squarely on OU coach Bob Stoops, who has taken the Sooners to three BCS title games in nine seasons but won only one (sound familiar?). Oklahoma also lost to Boise State in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl and to Kansas State in the Big 12 title game in 2003. Verdict: Overrated is as overrated does, but as long as OU doesn't begin referring to itself as tOU, the masses will mostly overlook their no-reason-to-be-that-arrogant attitude.
LSU -- Boy, it's tempting to give the Bayou Bengals the prize, but two reasons make it impossible. First, the memory of Katrina is still too fresh, and will continue to be as long as hurricanes keep gunning across the Gulf like a meteorological Bonnie and Clyde, to completely dump on the Tigers. Second, there is a sense that this team is something of a flash in the pan that will soon disappear. I mean, it's stinkin' LSU, know what I mean? Verdict: In the final analysis, coach Les Miles is simply too bland to beat on.
Texas -- While it's true that Longhorns think their manure doesn't stink, they also almost always find a way to botch their season before anyone can work up a strong dislike for them. Verdict: A team that plays second fiddle in its own state -- to the Dallas Cowboys -- can't be America's Least Liked Team.
Alabama -- Huh? What has the Crimson Tide done to earn anyone's wrath? 'Bama hired Nick Saban. 'Nuff said. Plus, fairly or not, there's always a sense that some monkey business is going on down Tuscaloosa way. Verdict: Keep an eye on this team. The higher it climbs in the polls, the louder the alarm warning.
Florida -- Now we're getting somewhere. All the necessary ingredients are in the soup. An outspoken coach in Urban Meyer who at times sounds like he thinks he invented the game; a pervasive arrogance that says, "We're the only real college in Florida"; affiliation with the SEC; and that irksome Gator chomp that has grown as stale as the Wave. Verdict: ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Unless, of course, a few things end up happening: the entire SEC is ruled academically ineligible, Texas and Oklahoma cancel each other out, food poisoning cuts down USC ... and the Buckeyes run the table.
That's when the "T" in tOSU stands for target again.
Rob Oller is a sports reporter for The Dispatch.
roller@dispatch.com
Good Gawd...Dude's a bigger homer than I am, and I predicted tOSU winning in OT vs U$C.
Got a few chuckles out of it. Enjoy and discuss.
Columbus Dispatch
Rob Oller commentary: Buckeyes' fade means haters must find another target
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 4:53 AM
By Rob Oller
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH
During the hunt for college football teams to hate, the national prey mostly recently has been found grazing in Columbus, where its thin skin is covered only by a cotton sweater vest.
Ohio State was overrated, its fans arrogant and its coach holier than thou. Then along came the migration to Southern California, where the Trojans rode herd on the Buckeyes and suddenly it's not as much fun to light into the Luckeyes.
Now that Ohio State is regarded as mostly meaningless by the media -- joining other irrelevant targets such as Notre Dame, Michigan, Florida State and the University of Miami -- a void has been created. The nation needs a new team to taunt because the only thing Americans like more than cheering the underdog is berating the top dog.
The choices:
USC -- The Trojans present a tug-of-war because they possess the flash and sizzle that draws both warmth and wrath. SoCal's superiority complex plays well on the coasts -- you mean there is land between New York and Los Angeles? -- but not so well in the Midwest and South, especially in the Southeastern Conference, which considers USC a threat to its self-coronation as best conference in the universe. True, the Trojans like to run up the score whenever possible, but on the flip side the media has a man-crush on Pete Carroll. Verdict: While loving it when USC loses, the Trojans are too West Coast to worry about. Hard to hate a team whose games begin at some people's bedtime.
Oklahoma -- Next to Ohio State, the Sooners carry the onerous burden of losing the big games. With the Buckeyes out of the picture, the choker label now falls squarely on OU coach Bob Stoops, who has taken the Sooners to three BCS title games in nine seasons but won only one (sound familiar?). Oklahoma also lost to Boise State in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl and to Kansas State in the Big 12 title game in 2003. Verdict: Overrated is as overrated does, but as long as OU doesn't begin referring to itself as tOU, the masses will mostly overlook their no-reason-to-be-that-arrogant attitude.
LSU -- Boy, it's tempting to give the Bayou Bengals the prize, but two reasons make it impossible. First, the memory of Katrina is still too fresh, and will continue to be as long as hurricanes keep gunning across the Gulf like a meteorological Bonnie and Clyde, to completely dump on the Tigers. Second, there is a sense that this team is something of a flash in the pan that will soon disappear. I mean, it's stinkin' LSU, know what I mean? Verdict: In the final analysis, coach Les Miles is simply too bland to beat on.
Texas -- While it's true that Longhorns think their manure doesn't stink, they also almost always find a way to botch their season before anyone can work up a strong dislike for them. Verdict: A team that plays second fiddle in its own state -- to the Dallas Cowboys -- can't be America's Least Liked Team.
Alabama -- Huh? What has the Crimson Tide done to earn anyone's wrath? 'Bama hired Nick Saban. 'Nuff said. Plus, fairly or not, there's always a sense that some monkey business is going on down Tuscaloosa way. Verdict: Keep an eye on this team. The higher it climbs in the polls, the louder the alarm warning.
Florida -- Now we're getting somewhere. All the necessary ingredients are in the soup. An outspoken coach in Urban Meyer who at times sounds like he thinks he invented the game; a pervasive arrogance that says, "We're the only real college in Florida"; affiliation with the SEC; and that irksome Gator chomp that has grown as stale as the Wave. Verdict: ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Unless, of course, a few things end up happening: the entire SEC is ruled academically ineligible, Texas and Oklahoma cancel each other out, food poisoning cuts down USC ... and the Buckeyes run the table.
That's when the "T" in tOSU stands for target again.
Rob Oller is a sports reporter for The Dispatch.
roller@dispatch.com
Good Gawd...Dude's a bigger homer than I am, and I predicted tOSU winning in OT vs U$C.
Got a few chuckles out of it. Enjoy and discuss.