T1B

Are you wanting people to jerk off to your "Dear Penthouse" letter? I stopped at the descriptions. To much. I don't think you'd all want me to tell about me getting blowjobs during Colt's halftimes from NoCal. Wait! Fuck, my pm box is going to fill, because half this fucking board does.

Was that fat asian a miss or a hit? I was drunk that night out on a bank bench fucking some credit card stealing tramp. Then we went back to the hotel room and rolled off the bed next to you, so we could go at it "twice".

R-Jack wrote:To the untrained eye, I probably looked like I was trying to gouge Ben Wallace’s eyes out.

Excellent!

Sincerely,

R-Jack wrote:turkey timers

Bwahah.

This thread needs pics.

Few people can tell a story like R-Jack. I won’t even try. If I were to try, I’d tell the story about the drunken bar skank who puked in my bed. Twice. I was on my third set of sheets before I was able to bust a nut. No kissy-face.

If they were to give out a Pulitzer for "Best use of crude analogies in a messageboard post," I think I'd have a nomination.


I'd play along, but the last time I decided to relate a story of a hookup-gone-bad, it actually brought back some mental scars, so I'll abstain.

The only thing I can compare it to is the view an ABA rim had when Dr J was taking off from the free throw line.

Fuckin'A.

Goober McTuber wrote:Few people can tell a story like R-Jack. I won’t even try. If I were to try, I’d tell the story about the drunken bar skank who puked in my bed. Twice. I was on my third set of sheets before I was able to bust a nut. No kissy-face.

Yeah I won't bore you assholes with ALL of the details... It'd take me all day to compose something as good as R-Jack's.

However. Real quick. I got one about...

...some whore who was so drunk she threw up on my cock in the midst of a blowjob. Fucking cunt had the audicity to then pass out, so I rubbed one out and blasted a load on her prone body on the floor. It had to suck for her waking up covered in puke and jizz. The bitch was a co-worker of mine at Aetna, but I worked in the Middletown, CT office and she worked in Hartford, CT... so I rarely saw her. I ran into her a few months later at a bar and she told me how great the sex was the last time and intimated she wanted some more. No, I am not shitting you. Being a gentleman and all, I politely declined.


Btw -- R-Jack!

I'd say this is a hook up gone wrong: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... 206434.ece

Rack R-Jack, btw.

I tried telling a nasty hookup story once. Not only did it go bad for me in person, it went bad for me in telling of the story.

Thanks, but I'll just rack R-Jack and leave my faux pas off the board from now on.

mvscal wrote:Well, I was going to get some breakfast...

There's some good Shepherd's Pie recipes in the cooking forum.

Good story.

Just so happens Drudge has a link to another dude's "Not so great moments in hook-up history".

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/ye ... doll1.html

FEBRUARY 5--Meet George Bartusek. The Florida man, 51, was arrested yesterday after he was spotted fondling and making out with a pair of blow-up dolls in a supermarket parking lot. Shoppers called cops when they spotted Bartusek getting busy in the front seat of his 1998 Lincoln Town Car, which was parked directly in front of a Publix store.

You were much better off with the crusty sock.