T1B

long time, get FUCKED

money is getting fucking tight around here. Rollins is off the wagon again and is POUNDING bud 40s at a clip you turd ranchers pound man broth. Stevo has drained literally THOUSANDS of dollars into his high tech tracking equpiment trying to locate your families so we can beef up our ransom plans. and i have dumped boatloads of cash into my strength training programs getting stronger, faster, more skilled, even SMARTER. with my fist, i can hurt a man. with my brain, i can kill a man and avoid penalty.

plus we've blown a few hundy on getting our cranks bumped by fat, ugly skanks. we're straight slump bustin these days. don't judge us, assholes.

that being said, your beatdowns have been put on HOLD. that is until we can generate enough coin to re energize the organization. so i come to you dick slaps to offer my fucking services. my card below will say it all.

let's do this

RACK that business card. I read in my monthly trade journal edition of "Professional Ass Beaters Monthly" that the Crew is having a hard time finding reasonable accomodations because they had their contract with Choice Hotels, Inc., severed because of the economic recession. Is this true, Douchy? Maybe this dude can help you up with places to crash:

I can't wait to see you bleed out, DB. That'll be a big party for everyone here. We'll set your corpse out on a slab at The Point and let it get bloated and swollen...then we'll shove you off into the Ohio and smash you with a champagne bottle.

look, i said youre SAFE rigiht now, DICKHOLE

right now i'm here for one reason and one reason only, contacting out my services to you pathetic weaklings who can't defend yourselves because you don't spend every waking hour of your life in TRAINING like i do.

here are some basic rates for my services. there are NO negotiations,fucklicks, but i will put together a proposal for more "customized" work.

standard ass beating - $200
-No broken bones or serious injuries, but possible loss of teeth and/or black eye. basically, walking up to some jackhole, popping him in the mouf and sayin "waaaaaaaaaasup sucka?" and walking away. One punch, one knockout.

extreme ass beating - $500
-several injuries guanranteed. broken arm, broken leg, or any specified appendage upon your request.

no mercy ass beating - $800
-you want something permanently ripped off? u got it. arms, legs, cranks, sacks, you name it. i will puree it all into a nice afternoon smoothie for a few extra bucks if that's your thing, ASSHATS

stevo will coordinate the assbeatings. if you'd like to set up a meeting or conference call we can do that too. but its all on your dime you WHORES