Flight fares going up for Gobbles, Duhrron, fellow fatties

[Screw_Michigan]

Well, it finally happened. As had been forcasted for years, United is going to start charging Gobbles, Duhhhron, and their fellow FAT fucking RETARDS twice as much for flights. Of course, this will be followed by an immediate lawsuit, which will draw the ire of Left Seater, although it is to prevent discrimation against the heavy and husky, in which he will support. His head will likely explode over this conundrum.

My favorite part is how United wants its ticket sellers "to be extra vigilant beginning Wednesday for passengers they deem to be overweight." Which means, if you are even in the ballpark of 200 lbs, you are FUCKED.

Get the fuck off my plane. More room to stretch out. I like it.

Posted: Wednesday, 15 April 2009 6:49AM

United to charge heavier passengers twice to fly

Bob Roberts Reporting

COMMENT ON THIS STORY

CHICAGO (WBBM) - If "beefy" or "curvy" describes you, here is a word of warning: United Airlines will begin aggressively enforcing a new policy that allows it to charge heavier passengers twice to fly.

Newsradio 780 has learned that United has instructed its customer service representatives at O'Hare International Airport ticket counters and gates to be extra vigilant beginning Wednesday for passengers they deem to be overweight. Those unable to comfortably fasten a safety belt with one extension or sit comfortably with armrests down will be denied boarding unless they purchase an extra seat, even if they can be placed elsewhere in the aircraft next to an empty seat.

If no empty seat exists, the passenger will be forced to take a later flight.

Couples flying together who can fit in adjoining seats are exempted "unless one of them complains," a United spokesperson said.

The spokesperson said it is responding to complaints from passengers.

While the directive has some United customer service representatives questioning the wisdom or legality of such charges, the airline spokesperson told WBBM that the double charge has become common practice in the industry, and that United is the last airline to adopt such a policy.

O'Hare's other major carrier, American Airlines, begs to differ.

American spokesman Tim Smith said that while the airline has the right to require a second ticket, it will do so only if it can find no other solution, such as re-seating the passenger next to an empty seat at no extra charge.

"I don't remember us ever having to impose such a charge," said American spokesperson Mary Frances Fagan.

The United spokesperson said it intends to impose the charge even when empty seats exist and passengers can be re- seated next to one. The spokesperson said United quietly adopted the policy earlier this year.

Southwest Airlines also is known to be aggressive about imposing the double charge.


Contents of this site are Copyright 2009 by WBBM.

[Left Seater]

Swing and a miss again.

My airline of choice has been enforcing this rule for some time and has defended it successfully in court. If you can't sit in the seat with both armrests down then you need to pay for two seats. I don't want to sit next to someone who spills over into my seat.

However, those of us that fly often now how to get seats that the fatties can never fit in. Exit row, bulkhead, etc have rigid armrests that don't move and they have no chance of fitting into.

United seems to be taking a very hard line, one that Southwest hasn't. Southwest allows the hugely fat to move to an area where there are multiple seats empty, however, if the flight is full then the customer must pay for two seats. Seems fair to me. Good luck United in trying to force people to pay for two seats when half of the plane is empty.

Maybe the next thing is to treat these fatties as cargo, and charge them a freight tarrif.

[BSmack]

My favorite part is how United wants its ticket sellers "to be extra vigilant beginning Wednesday for passengers they deem to be overweight." Which means, if you are even in the ballpark of 200 lbs, you are FUCKED.

It's been a while since I've flown, but it seems to me that a 200 lb person should be able to fit easily into an airline seat provided they are not 4 feet tall. WTF have they done to planes in the last 8 years?

[Left Seater]

Which means, if you are even in the ballpark of 200 lbs, you are FUCKED.

Damn, even ripped guys like .m2 will get screwed.

[Cuda]

unless the airlines have been secretly shortening up the seatbelts, a normal seatbelt, without an extender should fit at least up to a 50" waist. Anybody so fucking fat they need even one extender should be paying for 2 seats.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

The Rumpleforeskin fam might have to cancel this year's summer vacay. Unless they can find a way to turn Rumplewife's mass into an actual airplane.

[Cuda]

Ever hear of a Dirigible?

Pump some helium up her ass and sling a toyota underneath and, presto...

[indyfrisco]

Pump some helium up her ass and sling a toyota underneath and, presto...

Hmm...helium and methane. Not a bad substitute for oxygen and propane. The Rodentater may have some competition.