T1B

Mikey walks into his family living room one day and says to his pops, "Dad, I had sex for the first time last night." The proud father rushes to the kitchen, grabs a couple of beers and comes back into the living room. As he hands his son a beer he asks, "Thats outstanding son, do you have any questions about your experience?" Mikey replies, "Yeah, when does my ass stop hurting!"

This dude is getting his ass kicked in Vegas. He can't win shit. After one night, he finds himself penniless with only a plane ticket to get home. He approaches a cab driver named Roach and says, "look Roach I have no cash and I need to get home, I'll write you a check for twice the fare if you give me a ride to the airport." Roach rolls his eyes, "yeah, I've never heard that before." The dude pleads with the dirtbag cabbie, "I'll pay you triple the fare!" to which Roach replies, "Go fuck yourself, loser."


Six months later, the dude is in Vegas again. He can't lose. Dude has a hooker on each arm and stack upon stacks of black chips. After a great weekend, the dude needs to get to the airport. He sees a line of cabs with his ol' buddy Roach third in line. He walks up to the first cab and says, "I need a ride to the airport and I'l give you an extra $100 if you blow me." The cabbie replies, "get the fuck out of here." The dude walks up to the second cabbie and makes the same offer and he too tells the dude to get fucked. The dude then walks up to Roach's cab, jumps in and says, "take me to the airport!!!."

As they drive away, with a big smile the dude give the first two cabbies the double thumbs up sign.

I'm not reading any of this.

then what?

IDGI

Martyred wrote:

What is Chicago's NHL team?