T1B

I've consumed five pints of Texas' finest beer and three rum & cokes in between. Mrs. Rumps is looking like the suet hog that I oh so desperately yearn for when the beer goggles are in full affect.

I'm going straight for the pumpkin harvest strategically fenced in behind her 40EEE manzier. Luckily, my vision is just impaired enough to get past the tsunami waves that will threaten the very life of me while she rides my 7" kielbasa into the late hours of the night.

I'm expecting a cracked foundation and a ruptured water main that will leave millions without water on the Gulf Coast for days on end.

Wish me luck.

Go Coogs' wrote:I've consumed five pints of Texas' finest beer and three rum & cokes in between. Mrs. Rumps is looking like the suet hog that I oh so desperately yearn for when the beer goggles are in full affect.

I'm going straight for the pumpkin harvest strategically fenced in behind her 40EEE manzier. Luckily, my vision is just impaired enough to get past the tsunami waves that will threaten the very life of me while she rides my 7" kielbasa into the late hours of the night.

I'm expecting a cracked foundation and a ruptured water main that will leave millions without water on the Gulf Coast for days on end.

Wish me luck.

Just wanted to preserve this one. Carry on.

:doh:

Um, good luck, Rumps. Should we send help your way if you're missing for more than 24 hours?

Anybody seen Rumps this morning?
Did he show up at work?

I'm a little worried...

R A C K

RACK Rumps.

I feel as if a Board Era has ended.

Props for finally taming Mt. Rumplewife, dude.

To tame a beast like that, first you have to get on a program. It requires months and months of core training with a professional.

And pilates....ADVANCED pilates.

Go Coogs' wrote:And pilates....ADVANCED pilates.

You mean, SCUBA certified... right?

(l,r: Mt. RumpleWide beckoning alluringly, Salad Tosser cowering in the doghouse; not pictured: Rumps rummaging through the closet for climbing gear)

...this is good stuff!

- Johnny Carson

Go Coogs' wrote:her 40EEE manzier.

Rumps, Rumps, Rumps . . .

We've all seen the pics of your wife. Unless she's about 2 1/2 feet tall, there's no way in hell she's a 40EEE. Matter of fact, if I'm a betting man, I'm betting that she passed that number before she was old enough to get a driver's license.

Besides, her tits are her best asset. If you were going to exaggerate their size, you should've taken a cue from the strippers with fake tits, and exaggerated up.

And I know of which I speak. Much like George Costanza, I've based my entire life on knowing that the D cup was the biggest.

Terry in Crapchester wrote:I have no fucking clue what exaggerate means.

Gee... ya think? :?

rack!

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:

Terry in Crapchester wrote:I have no fucking clue what exaggerate means.

Gee... ya think? :?

I took a little dramatic license with a word. Get a life.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:

Go Coogs' wrote:And pilates....ADVANCED pilates.

You mean, SCUBA certified... right?

not just scuba. pretty sure this requires mixed gas certification and a barometric chamber.

Terry in Crapchester wrote:I took a little dramatic license with a word.

Just another epic failure. Your Seinfeld reference doesn't make sense either. Please refrain from future attempts at humor...

Terry in Crapchester wrote:Rumps, Rumps, Rumps . . .

We've all seen the pics of your wife. Unless she's about 2 1/2 feet tall, there's no way in hell she's a 40EEE. Matter of fact, if I'm a betting man, I'm betting that she passed that number before she was old enough to get a driver's license.

Besides, her tits are her best asset. If you were going to exaggerate their size, you should've taken a cue from the strippers with fake tits, and exaggerated up.

And I know of which I speak. Much like George Costanza, I've based my entire life on knowing that the D cup was the biggest.

This makes complete and total sense.

sin

What?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:Your Seinfeld reference doesn't make sense either.

Oh, really?

Sin,

2:13 of

Terry in Crapchester wrote:

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:Your Seinfeld reference doesn't make sense either.

Oh, really?

I said it doesn't make sense... not that it's inaccurate. Serious question. Is English your 2nd language?