T1B

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Unlike the yellow snow I currently know
Where the deer teats glisten,
In AP's basement kitchen
And Kevnick's ugly shiners glow

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
As Rumpleforeskin resumes the fight
to give some hard-won pleasure to his wife
As she comes he will know Eternal Night

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every trolljob clear in sight
m2ool's leather cheerio invites
And Sissyroo just can't wait for Friday Night

I give it a 47, because of too many syllables in the lines, and ya can't dance to it.

This had potential but in the end it was fail... come back and try again next year.

yeah, started pretty well, but, i think i sprained my tongue trying to sing the last line.

How come I'm not in youre stupid song?

It's Reindeer time in T 1 B
Reindeer dung,
Sandpaper tongue [ting-a-ling]
Can you hear hooves on their way.

It's no all that whack,cut him some some slack
Where's your holiday cheer ?
He was only excited for Reindeer
Gas was passing
He was laughing
Shit eating grin is no sin
Just could not wait to submit

It's Reindeer time in T 1 B
Reindeer dung,
Sandpaper tongue
Can you hear hooves on their way.

Poor ole' Salt Lick
Hung up by St. Nick
Drowns in the dew ev'ry morn
Hopes that the Reindeer
Will give him some pleasure

Hear the snow crunch
Salt lick gets flush
This is his biggest day
Then everything should be clear

It's Reindeer time in T 1 B
Reindeer dung,
Sandpaper tongue [ting-a-ling]
Can you hear hooves on their way.

It's no all that whack,cut him some some slack
Where's your holiday cheer ?
He was only excited for Reindeer
Gas was passing
He was laughing
Shit eating grin is no sin
Just could not wait to submit

Salt Lick -- the next time you consider songwytching...

don't.

White Fresno

I'm dreaming of a white Fresno
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the mirror glistens
And Kevnic listens
To hear Uhauls in the snow

I'm dreaming of a white Fresno
It's kinda hard with crooked sight
May your days be sober and bright
And may all your thongs ride high and tight

I'm dreaming of a brown Fresno
Just like the asscracks that I wipe
Where I meet lots of grannies
To share lots of panties
And pound Keystones through the night

I'm dreaming of a white Fresno
With every man that I've reviled
May your chicks get freaky and wild
And may all your resumes be filed

Whitey the snot nosed redneck

Whitey the snot nosed redneck,
had a very whorish child.
And if you ever saw her,
you'd know she made the truckers smile.

All of the other ball dykes,
used to laugh and call her names.
They never let poor whore child,
join in any lesbo games.

Then in one stanky locker room,
Queen lez came to say,
"Whore child don't you be uptight,
you will lick my slit tonight."

Then all the ball dykes loved her,
as they shouted out with glee:
"Whitey the snot nosed redneck,
your daughter done gone down on me!"

Deck your balls with pink lace panties
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Can't afford this 1 Bed shanty
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
I hope this prostitute is sterile
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
I think she said her name was Daryl
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

I saw Marty rimming Santa Claus
Underneath Blondie’s camel toe last night
That dwarf didn’t see me creep
down the stairs to catch a peep;
What I saw left me fucked up,
and puking in a heap
Then……
I saw Marty tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his scrote so withered white;
Oh……
what a joy it would have been
If the rest of T1B would’ve seen
Marty rimming Santa Claus last night.

Roger_the_Shrubber wrote:I give it a 47, because of too many syllables in the lines, and ya can't dance to it.

This is funny because YOU couldn't even WALK to it.

Dasher wrote:I think she said her name was Daryl
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Best ending ever to a carol.

RACK THE REINDEER!!!

Papa Willie wrote:Fuck yeah - they're back. :D

O KFC! O KFC!
You’ve made me such a fat ass;
O KFC! O KFC!
I need a triple bypass;
When you are gone I shed a tear,
I sweat your grease from toe to ear.
O KFC! O KFC!
My frame is one big blob of mass.

Jesus, I didn't realize just how much I missed these guys.

Reindeer rule.

Yea - Good shit

did the reindeer hire a ghost writer? I never remember them being this good.

Meh...

O KFC! O KFC!
You’ve made me such a fat ass;
O KFC! O KFC!
I need a triple bypass;
When you are gone I shed a tear,
I sweat your grease from toe to ear.
O KFC! O KFC!
My frame is one big blob of mass.

I'm dreaming of some more pork fat
Just like the bacon in my veins
Where grease globs glisten
and waiters listen
To hear triple portion calls

I'm dreaming of some more pork fat
With Shoney's menu in my sight
May staples stay steady tonight
And now my girth exceeds my height.

I'm dreaming of some more pork fat
With Shoney's menu in my sight
My asshole will surely ignite
But please, oh belt, be not so tight.

Body Hair, Seen No Where
Chest is smooth, Legs are too
Nair yon Nutsack down past my taint
Hair was there, now it ain't
Shit with No Cling Ons
Shit with No Cling Ons

Sausage shave, Fat wife Gaze
Mach three blades pulling the pubes
Round yon feed trough wife has a Snack
Manhood gone and it ain't coming back
Scream as testosterone leaves
Scream as testosterone leaves

Silent Lamb, Dream of Man Ram
Do the Tuck, Me - "I'd Fuck"
Prance in the mirror from Chin-a
Stroke my well groomed Mangina
Toss Sauce then wheel the wife in
Toss Sauce then wheel the wife in

Sausage shave, Fat wife Gaze

baaahahaha

Bass in the trunk are you listening
In the lane, rims are glistening
A beautiful sight
Wearing FUBU at night
Walking in a wigga wonderland

Stole away a slut in Sactown
Here in Indy she gets the smackdown
I punched her so nice
I just did it twice
Walking in a wigga wonderland

On my bike I’ll deliver a pizza
Thirty minutes to get across the town

I’ll say: How bout a tip?
He'll say: No man
Get the fuck off my porch
Before I beat you down

Nasty note on his windshield
As I flee through a crop field
There ain’t no shame
To live for the next Xbox game
Walking in a wigga wonderland

In locker room I can find a black man
And he can stick my asshole like a pin
I’ll have lot of fun with Mr. Black Man
Till he drops reparations on my chin

“Nigga please” I’m expressin
Got the clothes but no oppression
I try to be one, but accepted by none
Walking in a wigga wonderland

l to r: Fresno colons, deer hooves

HA!

RACK the annual return of the reindeer.

*takes cover*

Roger the Shrubber (to the tune of Frosty The Snowman)

Roger the Shrubber
Is a wheelchair bound weirdo
With a bad haircut and a Jewy nose
And two kids from an ugly ho

Roger the Shrubber
Is 1/16 black, he'll say
But he ain't no bro
And the posters know
He was off his meds that day

It must've been real tragic when he hurt his back that day
For when they placed him in his chair, the owls came out to play
Oh, Roger the Shrubber, is insane from head to toe
And the posters say he will flee away
All the folks on radio

Whackety whack job, whackety whack job
Look at Roger roll
Whackety whack job, whackety whack job
On the government dole

jezis, bwahahahahaha!

Dashing from the priest
when he was just a lad
"comeback here poptart"
"and touch your preacher's nads"

Ha ha ha

Bells in the steeple ring
Makes the pastor grin
As he thinks about
his nuts on poptart's chin

Oh Tickle balls tickle balls
and grab the shaft real tight
Oh what fun it is too ride
young poptart's ass tonight

"What would Jesus do?"
little poptart says
"He'd shut his eyes
and open wide
And swallow holy Jizz"

Oh pastor ped, pastor ped
reemed his ass real tight
But hey this guy
speaks for god
so it must be right

Cupid wrote:Bass in the trunk are you listening
In the lane, rims are glistening
A beautiful sight
Wearing FUBU at night
Walking in a wigga wonderland

Stole away a slut in Sactown
Here in Indy she gets the smackdown
I punched her so nice
I just did it twice
Walking in a wigga wonderland

On my bike I’ll deliver a pizza
Thirty minutes to get across the town

I’ll say: How bout a tip?
He'll say: No man
Get the fuck off my porch
Before I beat you down

Nasty note on his windshield
As I flee through a crop field
There ain’t no shame
To live for the next Xbox game
Walking in a wigga wonderland

In locker room I can find a black man
And he can stick my asshole like a pin
I’ll have lot of fun with Mr. Black Man
Till he drops reparations on my chin

“Nigga please” I’m expressin
Got the clothes but no oppression
I try to be one, but accepted by none
Walking in a wigga wonderland

A+