SEX

[poptart]

Nice thread title.

TROTS was already taken?

[WolverineSteve]

2,1

[KC Scott]

So this thread sucks, but it made me think of this thread over at Cracked.com

In that thread I learned This amazing fact about the lead singer for Nickleback

Which then lead to me writing this little tribute song:

Cockstar

I'm through with begging for Beer
at parties that I crashed in
I searched the bottom of the fridge
And then I met some weird men
This Night hasn't turned out
Quite the way I thought it would be

(Tell me what you want)

I want some Cold Bud light
Or a 20 ounce Shlitz
and a case of Coors or Michelob
And a frosty mug cold enough
to make me pee

(So what you gonna do?)

I gotta tell you man that I got no limit
I'll open wide and jam my own meat in it
Gonna Self fellate while you
And thirty-seven dudes watch me

(Been there, errr.. say what?)

I'm gonna drop my drawers and limber up
I'm gonna pull my junk and stroke my nuts
Somewhere between the couch and
Right here is fine for me

(So why you gonna do that?)

I'm gonna trade this feat for lager and beer
I really hope guys don't think that's queer

[Chorus:]
'Cause I just wanna be a big cockstar
And gobble my own dong on the hood of cars
This trick comes easy and I don't need lube
Grab a camcorder and put it on youtube
And we'll hang out when I get through
If you give me wetnaps to wipe up the goo
Even maybe girls
could wind up here
Cuz this rockin one man show
Will only cost you beer

Hey hey I wanna be a cockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a cockstar

I wanna be Ron Jeremy without the roll
I could even try to reach my asshole
Give myself a sanchez
So I can drink my brews for free
(I'll do a rusty trombone at your house)
I'm gonna lick my ass
In double jointed fashion
Doesn't this sound like a fair transaction?
I don't need a centerfold when I can
Blow my money for me
(So why you gonna do this?)
I'm gonna trade self esteem for Molson and fame
But when you tell your friends don't use my name

[Chorus]

We could do this in a private room
With my elastic weiner and some Heinekens
I can even do it with an evil smile
Just keep the paramedics on your speed dial, well

Hey hey I wanna be a Cockstar

I'm gonna smoke my pole
And offend your senses
Gonna launch my load like a pez dispenser

You'll see washed-up porn stars do my new trick
But none of them can deep throat their own dicks

[Chorus]

Hey hey I wanna be a cockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a cockstar

[Cornhusker]

New Russian band. I'm somehow pretty certain they suck.

Well really, what's sex without some serious sucking?