T1B

get you one of these....



i've been using my buddy bill's skid steer the last few days. other than the day we were in the land of no recessions. this fukking thing is the cat's ass. every man should have one, or in my case, a good friend that has one.

anyway, i'm bopping around my property with it laying carnage to pricker bushes and small trees. tried tackling a 18" diameter oak stump, but, to paraphrase richard dreyfuss from jaws, uhh, you better get a bigger skidsteer. so i went back to picking on the small stuff. not an hour in, my builder neighbor walks over.

bn: how's it going?

snack: not bad. just playing wit my buddy's machine.

bn: cool. does he come around much. i got a little yob for him. my ugly solid concrete front step needs to go away.

smack: no prolemo. lemme go grab the forks and we'll flip it into the woods in nothing flat.

so, i grab the forks. as with the big stumps, uhhh, you better get a bigger machine. this thing was solid and buried a good foot into the ground. no big deal, i'll go get the jack hammer bit. the jack hamer bit is basically a large steel dildo, prolly not unlike the one pickkle uses, 'cept this one's not black. that turned his front steps into managable chunks in about 5 minutes.

builder dude then says, so when you putting up that deck?

in the next month, hopefully, i said.

i'll box it in for you next wednesday. let you handle the decking and railings. take me about 2 hours.

me: uhhhh, OK.

so, for 10 minutes of playing, i'm getting my deck framed.

me.

today, i'm back out there grading away and massacre-ing more prickers, smallish stumps, etc... and the neighbor behind me walks over.

nbm: what's up?

smack: not much, just playing.

nbm: cool. hey, i got some holes i need dug for the shed/man fort i'm building...i was wondering if....

smack: sure, lemme go grab the auger.

so, i grabbed the auger and he grabbed his chainsaw and spent about an hour cutting big fukking downed oaks into managable chunks.

once again.... me.

bill's mustang is like the coolest transformer in the world. it has the standard 1 yard (i think) bucket, fork, miscellaneous auger bits and pickkkle's toy. there are other attachments, but, i don't think he has them.

what i am getting at is, if you wanna be the fukking hero of the neighborhood buy you one of these rigs. play with this thing in your yard on a saturday and you will have dudes drawn to it like moths to a flame.

too bad it doesn't seem to pull any ass, although, if you played your cards right, you might get to bang the OL of one of your new fliends.

With your fat ass sitting in the driver's seat I'm surprised it had enough power left over to lift up an empty bucket.

Years ago I lived across the road from a guy who worked for Cortland County in CNY. One day we had a blizzard that socked my driveway in with about 3 feet of snow. I was just about ready to tackle it with my Sear's Craftsman Drift Buster when I heard the sound of a Michigan Payloader outside. It was my neighbor clearing away my driveway with a piece of County equipment. He was doing mine so I wouldn't play whistleblower about it. I waved to him and gave him the OK sign. Saved about a good 3 hours of labor for me.

Wolfman wrote:Years ago I lived across the road from a guy who worked for Cortland County in CNY. One day we had a blizzard that socked my driveway in with about 3 feet of snow. I was just about ready to tackle it with my Sear's Craftsman Drift Buster when I heard the sound of a Michigan Payloader outside. It was my neighbor clearing away my driveway with a piece of County equipment. He was doing mine so I wouldn't play whistleblower about it. I waved to him and gave him the OK sign. Saved about a good 3 hours of labor for me.

sounds like the guy who lives across the street from me. he is the lead dude for the town's hiway department. being HNIC, jack gets to drive the bigass loader. a 5 yard bucket (give'r'take a few yards) makes short work of the worst blizzard. On really heavy snowfalls, he's scooped out the stuff the plows piled up on the end of my drive. in nine years of living here i've spent about as much time shoveling out my mailbox as mikey does. guess who's mailbox lives right next to mine? jack swings in nice and close with that loader.

in my next life, i wanna be a heavy equipment operator. (insert tasteless rumplewife reset here)

Never played with a Mustang -- a few Melroe ones along the way (since they kinda invented the skidsteer, the Bobcat).

It becomes even more entertaining after a few drinks.

want real fun? watch some dude who's never driven a skidsteer hop in, turn the throttle to far up and play rocking horse.

been there done that. there is a reason they put a seatbelt in those things. you can knock yourself cold in one as i damn near did the other day while stump wrasslin'. after bouncing my forehead off the instrument panel, i decided that leaving the PITA seatbelt locked behind me was a bad idea while doing bucket stands on oak tree stumps. fukk, that hurt.

Mikey wrote:With your fat ass sitting in the driver's seat I'm surprised it had enough power left over to lift up an empty bucket.

this reminds me of the redneck dude i hired in tennessee to push a buncha dirt around my yard. he did most of the big work with a good sized loader. to finish up he brought in his lil' bobcat.

dude was a well fed boy. he was around 6'1" and hadn't seen the low side of three bills since, well prolly about junior high.

anyway it was comical to watch him shoehorn himself into the bobcat. dude seriously fukking filled that cage, lemme tell ya! he could have barrel rolled that thing down the side of everest and probably would have walked away without a scratch seeing how fukking immobilized he was in it.

but damn, that fukking redneck was like barishnikov dancing that bobcat around.

watching a master operate heavy equipment after having given it a shot yourself, is kinda like a duffer watching a pga pro stick a 215 yard 4 iron 6 feet from the cup. you just don't get it unless you've tried yourself.

watching a master operate heavy equipment

can be a thing of beauty.

-Irie

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:

watching a master operate heavy equipment

can be a thing of beauty.

-Irie

smackaholic wrote:play with this thing in your yard on a saturday and you will have dudes drawn to it like moths to a flame.

Sooooooo....you in this White Party thing Todd fawns over so much?

smackaholic wrote:215 yard 4 iron

I call bullshit.

-Ken

you're going to club white party goers?

Sounds like a good time.

Todd’s “clubs” = dildo collection