Fell off the beer snob wagon today.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:22 pm

Was in stop & shop this afternoon picking up a few things for dinner and as i'm walking past the end of the beer isle, i instinctively look over to see if there's anything good on sale and guess what catches my eye.

beast light.

WWWD? (what would wolfie do) i think to myself. Why, he'd walk over, open the cooler door and grab that 12 pack. Actually, he's a big boy and prolly goes for the 30.

So, i says, wtf, been a while since i went beer slummin'. i reached in the cooler and grabbed a 12.

it was cheaper than a six of anything i'd drank in the last few years

on the way home i reached into the pack, pulled one out and downed it. crisp and refreshing....just like a cold glass of water is crisp and refreshing. back in the day i drank enough of the beast to fill atleast a few olympic sized swimming pools. don't think they had beast light at the time. i must say, for cheap shit beer, the beast and beast light even more so, goes down pretty damn easy. it doesn't have a good taste like real beer does, but, unlike most cheap swills, it doesn't trigger the gag reflex even a bit. basically, if you're out in the hot sun working as i am on my new deck currently (PET to come) you could do a lot worst than some ice cold beast light.

One other thing, when i drank one from my frosty thomas hooker glass, it tasted better. almost good, infact.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Apr 30, 2010 10:37 pm

You never were on the beer snob wagon.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat May 01, 2010 12:16 am

a few hundred empty bottles of various sam adams products ought to at least get me close.

how's about beer snob poseur?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat May 01, 2010 1:01 am

Going with Mikey -- living where you do, you don't posess the ability to be a beersnob.

Living in Beervana, I of course do. Mikey almost does, al;though his local almost-world-class-brewery has really shit the bed as of late (which was pretty much my favorite non-U&L brewery for a long time, and had the pleasure of meeting their now-misguided brewers at a festival years ago, and still have some glasses/shwag for my efforts).

BUT... if you're slumming, and the product line is on sale, always opt for the Beast Ice. Same nasty swill, only fortified for the same dough.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat May 01, 2010 1:40 am

No true beer snob would admit to drinking anything with Sam Adams on the label.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sat May 01, 2010 1:55 am

Bullshit.

I had the misfortune to spend four weeks in 'Noo Inglan' and Sam Adams Best Bitter was the only palatable thing on offer but even this is (IMHO) was over sweet (with the usual six foot 'rainbow' of beer taps, all from the same keg ) Still pleasant and unfussy though. A fine session ale, it'll do in a pinch.

The trouble with smaller American brewers is that they try and overdo the flavour of it. A nice simple hoppy pint is all that is needed and not something which has been approved by the pseudo-wine tasters association.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat May 01, 2010 1:58 am

Dr_Phibes wrote:... the pseudo-wine tasters association.

Did you just call out mv?

:o

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat May 01, 2010 1:58 am

sam adams is teh sux0rz

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sat May 01, 2010 2:03 am

Half the board, I think, butI don’t want to “savour the delicate aroma of Furglewangle ‘designer’ hops with a distinct finish of galangal.

I don't want MACHO 8-Ace that will blow me up like the Hindenburg and have me pissed up at nine o'clock.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat May 01, 2010 2:09 am

Does MACHO 8-Ace come in X-TRA Large?

Do you get a side of cole slaw?

Is it ribbed "for her pleasure"?

Does Nick Clegg have a china-man's chance?

If Rush performs "Lakeside Park" in the forest, can anybody hear it?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat May 01, 2010 2:19 am

Martyred wrote:If Rush performs "Lakeside Park" in the forest, can anybody hear it?

Not over the Maples' cries of oppression.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat May 01, 2010 2:20 am

BSmack wrote:
Martyred wrote:If Rush performs "Lakeside Park" in the forest, can anybody hear it?
Not over the Maples' cries of oppression.

^^^^^^^^

typical oak

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat May 01, 2010 2:38 am

Forgive the fuck out of me for living in a place where they actually grow hops (checking out a hop farm is cool-btw), and actually appreciating the subtle difference in nuance between the many varietals of hops.

Fucking cracks me up how far behind the curve you fuckers are. Then again, I'm spoiled, and have been for a loooooong time.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sat May 01, 2010 3:06 am

Dinsdale wrote: Fucking cracks me up how far behind the curve you fuckers are. Then again, I'm spoiled, and have been for a loooooong time.

That's the whole point, there is no curve. Staying in front on the curve is basically being a shithead trying to re-invent the wheel and injecting a nice simple pint with furgelwangle.

Pseudo-wine tasters of the world, unite.

Bucmonkey · Post by **Bucmonkey** » Sat May 01, 2010 2:26 pm

Everything is better in Dinstown.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat May 01, 2010 4:57 pm

Bucmonkey wrote:Everything is better in Dinstown.

- Livers, rectums and clean drapes

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat May 01, 2010 5:08 pm

Van wrote:
Bucmonkey wrote:Everything is better in Dinstown.
- rectums

Wouldn't that be "recta"?

Inquiring festivusers want to know.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat May 01, 2010 5:44 pm

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rectums

Main Entry: rec·tum
Pronunciation: \ˈrek-təm\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural rectums or rec·ta \-tə\
Etymology: Middle English, from Medieval Latin, from rectum intestinum, literally, straight intestine
Date: 15th century
: the terminal part of the intestine from the sigmoid colon to the anus
: Dins's TV tray

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat May 01, 2010 8:49 pm

Bucmonkey wrote:Everything is better in Dinstown.

Master Blaster runs Dinstown.

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Sat May 01, 2010 9:16 pm

Lotta hops planted couple years ago when there was a shortage. Some rich dude was rolling all up and down the yakima Valley making offers for land to plant hops. Now I believe, of course, theres an oversupply. Ive read Inbev controls the market and the best money is to get hooked up with a microbrew to buy your hop crop. But I could be wrong.

Washington state wanted to up the sin tax on beer(our state has a major shortfall in revs), but an outcry, even from our lib governer! excluded raising taxes on microbrewed beer. I dont know how they determined whats microbrew and whats not.

What kind of wheat do they make Hefeweizen out of again Dins?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat May 01, 2010 10:52 pm

Dr_Phibes wrote:The trouble with smaller American brewers is that they try and overdo the flavour of it.

I'd have to agree with that. Way too many upper left micros are striving for BIG.

BIG HOPS!! BIG MALT!!! BIG BUZZ!!!

It really is tiresome. Subtlety is not something that American micros tend to do very well. IMO, it's because the industry is still in its adolescence. They'll grow up eventually.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat May 01, 2010 11:17 pm

you west coast beer snobs crack me up. Yes, dins, the U&L is apparently a very nice place to grow hops. So fukking what. And you fukkers do have way more than your fair share of micros. Big fukkin' woop. This does not mean you have some sort of monopoly on the shit. We have micros too and i will put their beer up against yours. And yes, they use U&L hops because we have these really cool things called trucks that can deliver your hops here in a few days.The dude that owns thomas hooker actually has a farm in harwinton where he is growing his own hops. will they be U&L quality? who knows. all i know is that his octoberfest was rated by some ny times beer snob as best in the world recently. and it was going up against octoberfests from all over, including der fatherland.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun May 02, 2010 12:23 am

mvscal wrote:
Dr_Phibes wrote:The trouble with smaller American brewers is that they try and overdo the flavour of it.
I'd have to agree with that. Way too many upper left micros are striving for BIG.

BIG HOPS!! BIG MALT!!! BIG BUZZ!!!

It really is tiresome. Subtlety is not something that American micros tend to do very well. IMO, it's because the industry is still in its adolescence. They'll grow up eventually.

I blame it on Beer Advocate and the other hopaholics out there. The brewers are just catering to their market.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sun May 02, 2010 5:27 pm

mvscal wrote:
Dr_Phibes wrote:The trouble with smaller American brewers is that they try and overdo the flavour of it.
I'd have to agree with that. Way too many upper left micros are striving for BIG.

BIG HOPS!! BIG MALT!!! BIG BUZZ!!!

It really is tiresome. Subtlety is not something that American micros tend to do very well. IMO, it's because the industry is still in its adolescence. They'll grow up eventually.

I don't completely disagree (and agree with BSmack as well, since BeerAdvocate is the great bastion of brewing douchebaggery), but things are trending towards more complete product lines. When I used to work all of the festivals/events, the Snobs were generalli into the pales/IPAs/ESBs... but it was always the lighter brews that sold out first. There's always going to be more pussies than snobs. And not all of those brewers are stupid.

I alluded to Stone -- the perfect example of what not to do -- which is a shame, because it's not like there wasn't a whole buncha U&L breweries that should have provided all the precautionary tales Stone needed to not head down the path they're currently on -- ever bigger product line, ever bigger hops, and ever bigger ABV. If you follow this to it's logical conclusion, you get...

Rogue. In their early days, they were deece -- now everything they make is just about universally dreadful -- all 40 of them, or whatever ridiculous number of brews they make these days. Of course I was chatting with their powers-that-be on Beer Advocate, and when I had the gall to suggest "it's better to make 2 good beers than 30 shitty ones"... well, that was the end of my days at Beer Advocate.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun May 02, 2010 7:02 pm

got to agree with the assertion that the micros are trying to outdo one another to impress the BA snobs. i did pick up a 6 of stone ipa a few months ago. it certainly wasn't lacking for taste. nothing i would want to pound a 12 of. i will say that it was enjoyable with spicey food that could compete with it for your taste bubs' attention.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sun May 02, 2010 7:07 pm

Beast lite is beer, right? This can be forgiven. Purchasing Diet Bud Rice is tantamount to clipping your frank and beans with a dull pair of scissors and drwning yourself in the blood geyser

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon May 03, 2010 1:40 pm

I get it. Blood geyser rhymes with Budweiser.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon May 03, 2010 1:58 pm

No, it doesn't.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon May 03, 2010 2:19 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:No, it doesn't.

Yes, it does. Christ, Screwball, it's just after 10 AM. Are you drunk?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon May 03, 2010 3:49 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:No, it doesn't.

:doh:

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Mon May 03, 2010 4:16 pm

Geyser
pronounced "gazer"

sin, Lagos and Screw_Michigan

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon May 03, 2010 4:24 pm

Suck on this, fuckstains. I'm right. Blood "gay-zer" and "Budweiser" don't fucking rhyme. Unless you reside in that gay, incestuous redneck Wisconsin-Illinois corridor.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon May 03, 2010 4:36 pm

You're still wrong. The "gahy" is pronounced like "guy." Which means geyser does indeed rhyme with "weiser." Listen to the audio, dumbfuck.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon May 03, 2010 5:45 pm

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Mon May 03, 2010 6:18 pm

Damn. And to think Screwy makes his living in part because of his "mastery" of the English language. Fortunately he has food stamps and jizz mopping to fall back on.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon May 03, 2010 6:21 pm

Well, Screwball does traffic in the written word, not the spoken word. Can you imagine having him on radio or television, trying to convince viewers that he’s an ordinary “gay”?

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon May 03, 2010 7:04 pm

S_M has to be trolling with this. No fucking way he thinks geyser is pronounced the same as gazer, with the long 'a' vowel sound.

Main Entry: gaze
Pronunciation: \ˈgāz\
Function: intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): gazed; gaz·ing
Etymology: Middle English
Date: 14th century
: to fix the eyes in a steady intent look often with eagerness or studious attention

— gaz·er noun

Even his own link doesn't show the long 'a' sound.

What the fuck, Screw??

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Mon May 03, 2010 7:30 pm

Van wrote:S_M has to be trolling with this. No fucking way he thinks geyser is pronounced the same as gazer, with the long 'a' vowel sound.

It does rhyme if you pronounce Bud as bud-weighs-er. Other than that I have no idea WTF SM is talking about.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Mon May 03, 2010 7:51 pm

It's official: Screwed is gey.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon May 03, 2010 7:57 pm

Moving Sale wrote:
Van wrote:S_M has to be trolling with this. No fucking way he thinks geyser is pronounced the same as gazer, with the long 'a' vowel sound.
It does rhyme if you pronounce Bud as bud-weighs-er. Other than that I have no idea WTF SM is talking about.

Sure, but who would ever do that? Even I know it's pronounced bud-why-ser, and Screw certainly knows that as well.