T1B

So I played golf this weekend with my regular golf partner, my cousin. He's a bit tempermental. Kind of embarrassing really when we play with new people as he slams clubs, yells profanities and throws clubs. Typical meathead college football player.

So we are playing this par 5 that the second shot, if you cut the corner off the tee, goes into a little valley but you can be anywhere from 170 to 225 from the green. There is water about 20 yards across just short of the green. So, when someone goes for it in 2, someone else usually goes to the top of the ridge to watch the ball to see if it clears the water and where it ends up.

So my cousin is 210 out and breaks out a hybrid. I head to the top of the ridge in the cart. We have another 2-some with us too, some of our regulars. He hits one right at the green and it is going really high into the breeze...ballooning. He just clears the water onto the front of the green, but I want to fuck with him so I give him this signal:



He throws his club and it helicoptors into the trunk of a tree snapping the shaft in half. He looks at me and yells "YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" I said, "Yeah, I am. Nice shot."

So, I offer to pay for a new shaft for his hybrid. He declines the offer and called me an asshole.

You gotta know our group though. We fuck around with each other all the time. The shit talking on the course never stops. Lastly, this guy is 27 years old and as mature as a 15 year old on the course.

Asshole or not? (me that is, in this instance)

In this instance, no. In general, hell yes.

I think what you did is pretty fucking funny

I agree. Who doesn't love making some ill-tempered asshole melt in spectacular fashion?

Goober McTuber wrote:In this instance, no. In general, hell yes.

Well thanks and thanks.

Oh, he did 3-putt for a par and managed to only take a divot out of the fringe iinstead of the green like he usually does.

nope-the cats I play with do the same type thing

if it were me, I'd tell him "look, I'm going to pay to reshaft your club, and by the way, you're a decent enough dude and I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but we've played our last round together"

if he gives you some incredulous look and asks why, hit him with both fucking barrels

my old man broke me of those nasty behaviors early on

That's fucking hilarious. And your cousin needs anger management counseling ASAP. If that's how he snaps when he thinks he dunked a golf ball, I hate to think that his wife/significant other deals with.

Awesome, Indy. I'd a done the same thing.

BSmack wrote:That's fucking hilarious. And your cousin needs anger management counseling ASAP. If that's how he snaps when he thinks he dunked a golf ball, I hate to think that his wife/significant other deals with.

Amazingly, he's a great family man. He did play college football. He got signed by the Arizona Cardinals and later by the Houston Texans. Never panned out. If I only knew him from the golf course, I'd never associate with him again. He's just overly competitive. I excuse it while I tolerate it. I used to be the same way...when I was 14-18.

After he threw the club you should have fucked with him some more.

When he asked if you were kidding you should have said no, I saw it splash.

When you get up to the green and the ball is sitting there you just say, I guess it came out. Couldn't see it from back there.