PBA phone shakedowns

[smackaholic]

No, not bowling. I am talking about the other PBA, the policeman's benevolence association, or something like that.

Every coupla months these fukkers call begging for money.

I got nothing against cops, but this shit pisses me off.

Why don't the firemen call? Why doesn't any other group call begging for money? Well, there are a few, but none representing a certain vocation.

There's a good reason. These fukkers know there is a real good chance you'll reach into your pocket.

Why? Cause we all love cops?

No.

Cause we know there's a little sticker in it for us that we put in our back window that reduces the chance of them hitting us up for another type of donation.

Fukk them. I ain't playin' that game. Besides, my DoD sticker getrs me out of most other donations anyhoo.

[Derron]

Lot of departments are getting away from these groups collecting money for them. Probably something to do with the fact that the group siphons off about 80% for " administrative" costs. I don't give anything to them.

I just go directly to the fire department or food bank and cut them the check for what I can afford at Christmas time, and they use 100% of it for the Toys for Kids program, or what ever.

And my Marine Corps and volunteer firefighter stickers gets you some slack cut from the local police as well...not that I do anything to attract attention, but it got me out of a speeding ticket a couple of years ago.

[Screw_Michigan]

Cause we know there's a little sticker in it for us that we put in our back window that reduces the chance of them hitting us up for another type of donation.

Sounds like extortion. What a deal.

And my Marine Corps and volunteer firefighter stickers gets you some slack cut from the local police as well...not that I do anything to attract attention, but it got me out of a speeding ticket a couple of years ago.

Why don't, you know, drive the speed limit?

[Dinsdale]

Why don't, you know, drive the speed limit?

I remember when the raising of the federal speed limit was being debated, and no one east of the Rockies could figure it out.

Until you drive around rural Washington, Oregon, california, or heaven forbid Nevada (learn how to pronounce Nevada first, east-of-the-Rockies dweebs), then get back to us.

65-70 through the desert is freaking slow. And there's thousands of miles of the shit.

[Wolfman]

Montana I believe at one time had it right with "Autobahn Speed Limit" on the interstates. I know there are some stretches of I-90 in Washington and South Dakota where the road is super straight with very little traffic. I still don't trust car and tire makers enough to drive much over 75 mph. In the east some states let you put down the hammer on the interstates in good weather. I'd do it on I-95 through Georgia, South and North Carolina, but slow it down in Virginia.

[smackaholic]

Sounds like extortion. What a deal.

It's not exactly extortion. Extortion would be donate, or I'll write this ticket right fukking now. It's more of a protection racket. No different from dealing with the mafia really. Actually, with the mafia you prolly got more for your your money as they actually might protect you if someone fukked with you.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I've heard that the people calling on the behalf of the Fraternal Order of the Police get a hefty chunk of the donation. Hence the hard sell. I tell these losers to go fuck themselves every year.

If you want to give money, go down to your local police department and do it in person.

[Truman]

...Until you drive around rural Washington, Oregon, california, or heaven forbid Nevada (learn how to pronounce Nevada first, east-of-the-Rockies dweebs), then get back to us...

Okey-doke. I’ll play.

So you’d go to the trouble to chide the Great Unwashed for its ignorance, yet disdain the opportunity to educate it?

:?

For what it’s worth, the State of Nevada is pronounced Neh-va(a)-duh in these parts. ‘Course, this enunciation markedly differs from that of the burg with identical spelling located just off 71 Highway in southwest Missouri, and whose mispronunciation is a source of Great Amusement to its locals: Neh-VAY-duh. Which leave us with the Brit version to consider: Neh-VAH-Dah.

Keep in mind, this query comes from a state where the locals openly "skirmish" (‘sup mvscal) on ITS correct pronunciation. Half say Missour-ee; the other half say Missour-ah. And yes, per the Board, I am aware that the correct characterization of my state is Misery.

And don’t even get me started on how we depict the state of Or-reh-gun, ORE-gun, or Or-ree-GONE 'round here...

Seriously, Dins. Clearly, there are only so many ways to articulate the word, much to your bemusement and derision. So how ARE we “east-of-the-Rockies” types supposed to pronounce “Nevada”?

[Mace]

So how ARE we “east-of-the-Rockies” types supposed to pronounce “Nevada”?

It's pronounced Las Vegas, or just Vegas.

[Derron]

So how ARE we “east-of-the-Rockies” types supposed to pronounce “Nevada”?

It's pronounced Las Vegas, or just Vegas.

Unless you one of the hundred of thousands of gooks that fly in there..it is known as Ros Vegas..or Rost Wages

[Derron]

Why don't, you know, drive the speed limit?

Because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about.

Sin,

Every driver on I - 95 on the East Coast.

[Mikey]

Got a call last night from some kid at UC Irvine reminding me that we had donated in the past to the Campuswide Honors Program (which my daughter is in) and would we like to kick in $250 right now to any UCI programs.

I told him we have two kids going there now so we're a little strapped and I feel like I'm already sending enough money this year.

So he said how about $100?

[Derron]

Got a call last night from some kid at UC Irvine reminding me that we had donated in the past to the Campuswide Honors Program (which my daughter is in) and would we like to kick in $250 right now to any UCI programs.

I told him we have two kids going there now so we're a little strapped and I feel like I'm already sending enough money this year.

So he said how about $100?

You know that all he was going to do was buy a bag of weed, a quarter of blow, 2 cases of beer and some condoms with that hunseky right ?

You kind of fucked up his evening a bit.

[Mikey]

Got a call last night from some kid at UC Irvine reminding me that we had donated in the past to the Campuswide Honors Program (which my daughter is in) and would we like to kick in $250 right now to any UCI programs.

I told him we have two kids going there now so we're a little strapped and I feel like I'm already sending enough money this year.

So he said how about $100?

You know that all he was going to do was buy a bag of weed, a quarter of blow, 2 cases of beer and some condoms with that hunseky right ?

You kind of fucked up his evening a bit.

I see you workin', but the caller ID said "UC Irvine". I guess he might have been calling from some TA's office or something.

We usually ignore any calls that come in with that ID 'cause we know what it's about. But the kids are home, my son the freshman picked it up and handed it to me, and I was all like WTF?

Caller ID's that we always let ring:
UC Irvine
UC San Diego
Music Center (that's the LA Opera)
Any 800 number
ID blocked

[smackaholic]

But the kids are home, my son the freshman picked it up and handed it to me, and I was all like WTF?

and this is the kid you said was some sort of national scholar? pffttt.

same thing happens here.

i hear the phone ring in the other room and my immediate fear is that my 12 year old son might fukk up and actually answer it prior to checking the ID!

Fortunately he has been scolded enough times that he "gets it" now and doesn't get it. It would seem that you, with genius kid raised in a kind, progressive, fostering, nurturing home hasn't received this sort of instruction.

Follow these instructions mikey and your problems will be solved.

When the phone rings, immediately call out in as authoritative a voice as a fat hippie can muster, "answer that fukking phone and I will kill you". When he does, kick him in the ass as hard as you can. Wait, never mind, I forgot about your bum hip. Just slap the shit out of him or hit him with the nearest cheap object that will not result in a trip to the hospital and visits from those pesky DCS fukks.

You won't have to do this more than once or twice. Trust me. Glad I could be of help.

[Screw_Michigan]

You caller ID pussies make me sick. We never had caller ID at my parents' house. Just fucking hang up on them.

[Dinsdale]

Keep in mind, this query comes from a state where the locals openly "skirmish" (‘sup mvscal) on ITS correct pronunciation. Half say Missour-ee; the other half say Missour-ah. And yes, per the Board, I am aware that the correct characterization of my state is Misery.

Everyone I've ever met from Missouri (and remember, I live in Transplant Land), seems to pronounce it Muh-zur-uh, or something like that, so I've always kind of figured that must be the rule-of-law.

And don’t even get me started on how we depict the state of Or-reh-gun, ORE-gun, or Or-ree-GONE 'round here...

We kill people who mispronounce it, either with a knife, OR-uh-gun.

No "gone," no long-E sound, no emphasis on the middle or last syllable.

As much disdain as I have for the calis, at least they pronounce Oregon and Nevada properly.

Seriously, Dins. Clearly, there are only so many ways to articulate the word, much to your bemusement and derision. So how ARE we “east-of-the-Rockies” types supposed to pronounce “Nevada”?

nuh-VAD-uh. No "ahhhh," as in Amish...."aaa" as in "cat."


But pretty much what Mace said -- just pronounce it "Vegas." That fucking shithole is by far the nicest part of the Giant Shithole.


But I always figure a state's natives dictate how the state's name is pronounced... the exception being Washington, since I don't give a fuck how many of those inbreds pronounce it wrong, I just can't agree with those fucks somehow putting an R before the "sh" sound.

They "warsh" their hands (rarely), too.

[Trampis]

Thanks for getting it right Dins, Warshington it is. :D

We have firemen beggers where I live. They stand out in traffic holding an irrigation boot and expect you to stop in the middle of the street and put money in it. The cops even get involved in this panhandleing by setting cones out and funnelling 4 lane traffic down to two for proper intimidation.

[Dinsdale]

Thanks for getting it right Dins, Warshington it is.

Yeah, I'm like 1 mile from there (from Vancouver, that is -- possibly your second-shittiest city (sup Tacoma). Pretty familiar with You People.

[Mikey]

Thanks for getting it right Dins, Warshington it is. :D

We have firemen beggers where I live. They stand out in traffic holding an irrigation boot and expect you to stop in the middle of the street and put money in it. The cops even get involved in this panhandleing by setting cones out and funnelling 4 lane traffic down to two for proper intimidation.

They do that here sometimes too. Creates a freaking traffic hazard during the morning commute.

[OCmike]

You caller ID pussies make me sick. We never had caller ID at my parents' house. Just fucking hang up on them.

You think being a Telephone gangsta means you "got over" on them? Sorry, chump, what it means is that at the very least the telemarketer puts your # in the "customer not home category" so that you'l get called again by the next shift. In other words, you just volunteered to be fukked with. If you happen to hang up on someone who enjoys being a real a-hole, he'll give your # out to insurance companies as a hot lead or...the horrah...military recruiters.

Bottom line...being a dick to someone who has your home or cell # is only slightly less stupid than being an asshole on a drive-thru mic when people on the other end are preparing your food.

[Screw_Michigan]

^^^ That was quite possibly the dumbest take I've ever read here. Congrats, TelemarketerMike.

[OCmike]

??? That wasn't a take, it happens all the time. Google "telemarketers revenge".

Most of the time they do harmless stuff, like add your number back into the calling pool, as I said. But you wanna keep being a telephone badass and sooner or later you'll piss off the wrong person.

I've. Admittedly never been a telemarketer, but Ive had friends over the years who have been. And trust me, they love telling anyone who will listen about how they handle telephone tough guys like you.

I did work at restaurants and a fast food joint though. And I'm one of the few people that didn't do gross shit to people's food. And the thing is, for you dickheads that think being a jerk has no consequences, 99% of the stuff that goes on is undetectable. For instance, when a drunk frat boy was being a complete dick when ordering, this dude Tony would step into the walkin fridge, rub the frozen patty on his sweaty taint then come back out and cook it.

But you keep on telling yourself that you've never been fukked with. I'm sure you're right. :wink:

[R-Jack]

Why don't, you know, drive the speed limit?

Unrack. We got salaries to pay.

Sin,
Small towns on I-5

[OCmike]

BTW, Dins, Californians don't deserve any credit for prouncing Oregon and Nevada correctly. We only pronounce names of places the way they want us to out of fear of possibly offending someone.