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Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 3:50 am
by mvscal
It's been a banner year for shit coaching douchebaggery. Some of the worst coaches in NFL history are (or were) working 18 hour days to achieve a level of futility seldom equalled in all professional sports.

Mike Singletary--

Took a team that was expected to handle the division easily and make some noise in the postseason and turned them into a dog's breakfast. Evidently, taking his pants off was not a particularly effective motivational technique. Of course it doesn't help that he is totally clueless in every facet of the game.

Brad Childress--

"Chilly" possesses the coaching acumen usually found only among boxes of rocks or bags of hammers. He thought Tardvaris Jerksoff was an NFL quarterback and then found a home on Bert Farvray's nutsack. Cutting Randy Moss without informing management mere weeks after they forked over a 3rd pick for him was a move of epic imbecility. A real tard's tard.

Josh McDaniels--

Shit sandwich.

Marv Lewis--

How does this wall-eyed, oxygen thieving skidmark get a free pass every year? Granted that expectations are never very high in "the Natti" but Jesus Fucking Christ on a Popsicle Stick. Nice highpowered offense there, you fucking dooooshbag.

Mike Shanahan--

Yeah, I guess it's pretty easy to be "The Mastermind" when you've got John Elway under center, Terrell Davis in the backfield and Rod Smith, Ed McCaffery and Shannon Sharpe receiving. Now you're just another befuddled toolbag wondering how it all went wrong.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 4:39 am
by Yer a Fuckin Jerkoff
Rack those takes. I'll go with Marvin Lewis because plenty were picking this team to win a wild card plus they had that improved defense, great running game and susposedly good offensive weapons and Lewis found a way to let this group underachieve. And he'll probably be back next year since the owner is too much of a cheapass to get someone who knows what the fuck he's doing.
Singletary completely tripped on his dick. I said at the beginning of the year that all he had to do was go 8-8 and he'd win the division easy, yet they still fuck up and most of it is his fault because he puts that team in a position to lose every week with his shithead game plans and bullshit in-game management.
The others were dumbasses as well. I'd put Childress #3 but it was bound to come apart at the seams for that dipshit sooner or later.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:06 pm
by Bucmonkey
3-way tie between Brad, Josh and Shanny. Their inept moves will affect their respective teams for the next couple of years.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 3:36 pm
by smackaholic
good point about how you can be a mastermind when you have the right tools and then a tool when you don't.

is there anyone in the NFL that has proven that this concept isn't universal?

who has shown that he can move from team to team and win consistently without HOF QBs?

The guy that comes closest to this is Parcells. 2 rings with the G-men, made it to the SB with the pats. There may be others, but, not being the biggest NFL coach historian, I can't say. Maybe Tony Dungee?

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 3:57 pm
by Sirfindafold
smackaholic wrote:who has shown that he can move from team to team and win consistently without HOF QBs?

Tom Flores

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 5:32 pm
by ChargerMike
...instinctively I want to pull the handle for The Rat, however he does have 5 wins with a terrible team. Childress has to rank right up there on any list of futility. A couple others, John Fox in his 8th. year has the Bungjoles hoplessly buried, and Gary Kubiak has taken his highly ranked personel to dead last in the AFC South.

1. Phillips
2. Childress
2. Fox
3. Kubiak
4. Singletary/McDaniels
5. Rat

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:24 pm
by Dinsdale
As far as Shit Armchair Coach of the Year, I'm going to nominate...

Me.

I'd have NFL teams running the triple-option.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 6:56 pm
by Screw_Michigan
Phillips
Singletardy
Childress
McDaniels
Marv Lewis
Shanahan
Pineapple Face

Honorable mention: Lovie Smith (of course, it's contract time so Lovie actually has a decent team. It's like clockwork)

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:21 pm
by MgoBlue-LightSpecial
It has to be Wade Phillips. Getting canned in-season with that roster and the expectations they had has got to be an unprecedented level of suck.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:31 pm
by Neely8
For the 3rd round pick alone Chilly should win this hands down. Minnesota is now left with no viable QB and less one 3rd round pick. That guy was a colossal tool.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:32 pm
by Felix
I think it's only fair that in order to be judged the worst coach of the year, you have to finish out the year....

McDouchenozzle-ELIMINATED
Phillips-ELIMINATED
Childress-ELIMNATED

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:33 pm
by Screw_Michigan
No, if anything, it vaunts you to the top because you DIDN'T finish out the year. NFL coaches rarely get shitcanned during the season, so you are a special level of suck if you do.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 8:29 pm
by BSmack
Chilly is the hands down winner if you are only talking about this season. He got lucky last year with Favre and thought he could go to the well one more time. It bit him in the ass and he had no plan B but to try to throw a 3rd rounder at the Pats for Randy Moss. When Moss failed to bring Favre's arm back to life (are we surprised?), Chilly dumps Moss like a 2 dollar hooker without even bothering to inform the team owner as to why he is jettisoning the receiver who only 4 weeks prior was worth a 3rd rounder. In the process Chilly looses his entire team and a team that was one Brett Favre INT from a trip to the Super Bowl last year is now a clusterfuck of monumental proportions.

But if you are talking about overall dumbfuckery, McDaniels is your guy. He took a team that was not half bad and probably just needed a few tweeks and a fresh attitude to be competitive and in 2 years stripped the team of any semblance of dignity or talent not named Champ Bailey. All because he couldn't get along with others. He may just be one of the worst talent evaluators in the history of the league.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 4:24 am
by R-Jack
McDaniels. Lead pipe lock.

There has been some restaurant quality stupid in the NFL coaching ranks this year. At the very least most of these guys who are, or about to be, canned for their ineptitude as a head coach would get another look in a different coaching capacity. McDaniels fucked up Denver so bad; he may have coached himself out of any NFL job in any capacity. People like Phillips, Lewis, Pineapple face and even Singletary at least have some value as a coordinator or position coach. Bellicheck lite probably wouldn't even get a gig wiping players asses at this point. Think about that.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:49 am
by R-Jack
R-Jack wrote:McDaniels fucked up Denver so bad; he may have coached himself out of any NFL job in any capacity. People like Phillips, Lewis, Pineapple face and even Singletary at least have some value as a coordinator or position coach. Bellicheck lite probably wouldn't even get a gig wiping players asses at this point. Think about that.
:shock:
The next few days may prove me wrong.

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2011/0 ... k-up-plan/

Wait. Did I say :shock: ?
What I meant to say was :lol:
Then :doh:
Then :lol: again.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:37 am
by War Wagon
that's not surprising. There have been rumors in these parts that he's going to replace Weiss in KC.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 2:47 am
by ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
He's a great offensive coordinator. He'd be a good hire for the Chefs, man...

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:19 am
by R-Jack
Yeah, the Pats just haven't been the same without him.

Re: Shit Coach of the Year

Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 11:10 am
by ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2
New England's offense certainly suffered last year without him. And it wasn't until they cut Moss loose that they started setting the world on fire. Imagine what McDaniels would have done with these weapons.

Furthermore, McDaniel's offense turned Lloyd into one of the best receivers in the NFL after years of obscurity. Orton would have had 4000 yds passing this year had played the last 3 games.

McDaniels is a great offensive coordinator and he'll find work very soon.