T1B

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 12:41 am**

http://www.wave3.com/story/13731615/mys ... son-county

Not that there's any shortage of mysterious weird creatures about--now with the GOP and all--but c'mon...

this little guy could be a faithful pet, taking a snooze, ready to fetch a ball and maybe...scratching out a message about ancient secret pyramids...

but no, some dumb redneck got immediately scared--better shoot it!

What would you do?

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 12:44 am**

Do they taste like chicken?

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 1:09 am**

I'd probably call the local zoo, so they could confirm that it's a diseased dog, and tell me "should have shot the diseased motherfucker."

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:06 am**

if i found that fukker snoozing on the deck railing, i get the camcorder, then i get the shotgun.

start shooting (the camera) then let that fukker have it with double ought buck shot, full choke from about 10 feet.

i guarantee it gets a million hits on youtube inside a day.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:34 am**

That's a raccoon not a dog. Look at the paws.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:37 am**

mvscal wrote:That's a raccoon not a dog. Look at the paws.

As a person with more face-to-face encounters than you can shake a stick at (huge population just in my yard)...

No.

The ears look nothing like a coon (then again, I've never seen a Kentucky coon... although I'm guessing Katy has keistered plenty of them). Not even in the same ballpark.

Although, as you mentioned, those a pretty un-doglike claws.

Maybe it is some rare shit, rather than some diseased domesticated thing.

Some fucked up wolverine hybrid thing, maybe?

If it was somewhere besides Kentucky, I'd say "DNA will tell the tale." But since Kentucky has a grand total of about 14 distinct strands of DNA distributed amongst humans and animals, I won't hold my breath.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:49 am**

Jsc810 wrote:
LTS TRN 2 wrote:What would you do?
Grab the truck keys, and get to work

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:59 am**

That is why you don't go for it Shoalzie.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:24 am**

I saw Denzel Washington shoot a critter like that in The Book of Eli.

Not a terrible movie, but I'm still trying to figure out what other movie I know the antagonist from. Little help please? Shit like that drives me crazy.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:40 am**

mvscal wrote:That's a raccoon not a dog. Look at the paws.

Agree...looks like a coon someone drenched in nair, nare, or however you spell that hair removal product. Don't forget I live in Nebraska and I say racoon!

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:43 am**

War Wagon wrote:Not a terrible movie, but I'm still trying to figure out what other movie I know the antagonist from. Little help please? Shit like that drives me crazy.

Drives you crazy in a "I can't think of what else he's been in" kind of way, or a "I'm from the Cultural Wasteland of the United States, and have never heard of IMDB" kind of way?

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:57 am**

Looks like a badass Korean deep pit BBQ..

I would go with "Brent's Hot" You talk about $.

poptart...?

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:00 am**

Dinsdale wrote:
War Wagon wrote:Not a terrible movie, but I'm still trying to figure out what other movie I know the antagonist from. Little help please? Shit like that drives me crazy.
Drives you crazy in a "I can't think of what else he's been in" kind of way, or a "I'm from the Cultural Wasteland of the United States, and have never heard of IMDB" kind of way?

IMDb? I'm still trying to get the top 250 watched.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:13 am**

The "nude coon" theories are honestly ridiculous, even though, hey, I've got them crawlin', stealin', and matin' right outback--and I'm in the middle of S.F. But no, that's no coon--or any freakin' beast you've ever seen. And it ain't lil' Dennis Kucinich, another great American hero and world patriot--who is similarly about to be insensibly slain by scared redneck GOP assholes as part of their redistricting option.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:30 am**

LTS TRN 2 wrote:The "nude coon" theories are honestly ridiculous, even though, hey, I've got them crawlin', stealin', and matin' right outback--and I'm in the middle of S.F.

I think the context in which you're using that term became un-PC quite a while back.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 5:36 am**

LTS TRN 2 wrote:

What would you do?

throw it on the bar-b.

sincerely,

'tucky

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:01 am**

Thing kinda looks like Hugh Hefners girlfriends crotch.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:17 am**

Dinsdale wrote:
mvscal wrote:That's a raccoon not a dog. Look at the paws.

As a person with more face-to-face encounters than you can shake a stick at (huge population just in my yard)...

No.

They come up on my porch every single day. It's a raccoon. Don't know what happened to his fur, but there is no mistaking the paws.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:49 am**

Y2K wrote:Looks like a badass Korean deep pit BBQ..

I would go with "Brent's Hot" You talk about $.

poptart...?

Sure.

I've had dog, locust, and who knows what else mixed in my soup.

A slab o' chupacabra can't hurt at this point.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:58 am**

RACK Toddowen.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:38 pm**

mvscal wrote: They come up on my porch every single day. It's a raccoon. Don't know what happened to his fur, but there is no mistaking the paws.

The same thing that happened to its fur is probably the same thing that made its ears 4X the size of any raccoon.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:53 pm**

Sometimes big ears are just an abnormality of the species.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:21 pm**

And not only does the mysterious dead creature not have a coon's nose, it similarly lacks anything remotely resembling a coon's snout or limbs. And coons don't have fangs. But as H.P. Lovecraft reminds us, there's a lot going on of which we're unaware. :wink:

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:43 pm**

Dinsdale wrote:The same thing that happened to its fur is probably the same thing that made its ears 4X the size of any raccoon.

The ears are the same. They just look different without any fur.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:47 pm**

With fur, the ears do appear shorter.

'Round these parts, canine dysentery is doing a number on the coons, which is pretty cyclical and normal. Makes them do weird shit when they croak, but I've never seen one lose its hair over it.

In which case, it definitely needed a good shooting. Am immediate burial/cremation probably a good idea, too.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:48 pm**

LTS TRN 2 wrote: And coons don't have fangs.

Posted: **Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:50 pm**

LTS TRN 2 wrote: And coons don't have fangs.

^^^^ Never rescued a pet from a coon.

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:37 am**

Dinsdale wrote:
War Wagon wrote:Not a terrible movie, but I'm still trying to figure out what other movie I know the antagonist from. Little help please? Shit like that drives me crazy.
Drives you crazy in a "I can't think of what else he's been in" kind of way, or a "I'm from the Cultural Wasteland of the United States, and have never heard of IMDB" kind of way?

Both.

Sorry I asked.

Gary Oldman, maybe it was The Dark Knight but I'm not sure I even watched that, so probably not. Dude puts on a memorable performance, that's for sure.

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:55 am**

War Wagon wrote:Gary Oldman, maybe it was The Dark Knight but I'm not sure I even watched that, so probably not.

Pretty memorable in The Fifth Element.

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:58 am**

War Wagon wrote:Gary Oldman, maybe it was The Dark Knight but I'm not sure I even watched that, so probably not. Dude puts on a memorable performance, that's for sure.

He was Commissioner Gordon in Batman Begins also. Sirius Black in several of the Harry Potter movies. The psycho mvscal pimp in True Romance. He's been a shitload of movies.

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:36 am**

Okay, coons have fangs--but that's it as far as any close resemblance. The Nude Coon school is debunked--and anyone holding on to that theory has obviously not looked at the accompanying news video. For starters a coon has an entirely different body shape.

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 2:55 am**

Just as I'm coming to agreement with mvscal, LTS chimes in with his "scientific" view, which pretty much cements things...

It's a coon.

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:05 am**

LTS TRN 2 wrote:Okay, coons have fangs--but that's it as far as any close resemblance.

And the paws.

The Nude Coon school is debunked--and anyone holding on to that theory has obviously not looked at the accompanying news video.

Actually, if you watched the video, you'd know they said that a diseased animal can take on an unrecognizable form. Coming across a fucked up coon is much more likely than an undiscovered species.

For starters a coon has an entirely different body shape.

See above. Even still, all that fur covers up a raccoon's "body shape" so there is really no way for you to know the differences unless you've studied the animal personally. And since you didn't even know the animal had fangs...

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:15 am**

The paws really aren't that close--when you look closely. And the body is clearly lacks the coon's high arched back shape. As for the nice expert at the end reassuring us that it's something normal, n-word please! This is the same guy they trot out to claim that the UFO seen by hundreds was swamp gas or a weather balloon.

Someone's going to examine it--assuming the hillbilly hasn't eaten it--and I shall laugh purely!

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:19 am**

All we need now is a pic of one standing in Mikey's pool.

Posted: **Tue Dec 28, 2010 3:30 am**

I think it's Rocky Raccoon after 40 years of drug abuse.

T1B

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